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1 Feb 2014

Cecil Chao Rescinds HK$1Billion Dowry after Daughter’s Passionate Open Letter

After an open letter in which Gigi Chao expressed her love for her father but was adamant that she is happy with her partner, Sean Eav, Cecil Chao revokes dowry offer but fails to accept Eav as part of the family.

The very public row between Hong Kong Property tycoon Cecil Chao and his lesbian daughter, Gigi Chao, has continued this week. After claiming in an interview with a Malaysian newspaper last week that he still did not accept his daughter’s choice of partner and would offer HK$1 Billion to any man that could win her heart, his daughter Gigi completed an open letter to her father.
In the letter she complimented her father and apologized for misleading him that she may be happy with a man. Ultimately, however, she was adamant that Sean Eav is the one for her. She stated, “I am comfortable and satisfied with my life and completely at ease with her.”  Gigi also expressed that “it would mean the world to me if you could just not be so terrified of her, and treat her like a normal, dignified human being.”
Cecil Chao replied to the letter in an interview with CNN this week. In the interview, Chao appeared slightly hurt at the way his daughter had declared her sexuality through an open letter. “She never tell (sic) me in person, I saw it on the paper” he said.
He then went on to say that “her private life is hers, if this is her choice, then it’s for her," suggesting that he somewhat accepted her choice. However, he also hinted that he did not see the situation as permanent. “she is only 33. Life changes. I mean I changed a lot when I was 33 to now.”
Perhaps most upsetting to Gigi was Chao’s blunt refusal to accept Sean Eav as part of the family. “I don’t have to accept her partner. It’s for she (sic) to accept her partner,” he said. The reporter followed up by asking if he welcomed Sean Eav into the family. Chao bluntly replied: “No.”
Below is the full letter, originally published in the South China Morning Post on Tuesday.
Dear Daddy,
I thought the timing was right for us to have a candid conversation.
You are one of the most mentally astute, energetic yet well mannered and hard-working people this humble earth has ever known.
Your confidence, quick wit, and charisma brightens any room you enter.
I love you very much, and I think I can speak for my brothers also, that we have the utmost respect for you as a father and role model in business.
I am sorry that people have been saying insensitive things about you lately. The truth is, they don’t understand that I will always forgive you for thinking the way you do, because I know you think you are acting in my best interests. And we both don’t care if anybody else understands.
As your daughter, I would want nothing more than to make you happy. But in terms of relationships, your expectations of me and the reality of who I am, are not coherent.
I am responsible for some of this misplaced expectation, because I must have misled you to hope there were other options for me. You know I’ve had male lovers in the past, and I’ve had happy, albeit short-lived, relationships. I found myself temporarily happy, buoyed by the freshness, the attention, the interest, of someone physically stronger than myself.
But it was always short-lived, as I quickly lost patience, and felt an indescribable discomfort in their presence. It usually made me frustrated, and I would yearn for my freedom again. I’ve broken a few hearts, hearts of good, honest and loving men, and I’m sorry that it had to be so.
But with Sean, a woman, somehow it was different. I am comfortable and satisfied with my life and completely at ease with her. I know it’s difficult for you to understand how I could feel romantically attracted to a woman; I suppose I can’t really explain it either. It just happens, peacefully and gently, and after so many years, we still love each other very much.
My regret is that you have no idea how happy I am with my life, and there are aspects of my life that you don’t share. I suppose we don’t need each other’s approval for our romantic relationships, and I am sure your relationships are really fantastic too.
However, I do love my partner Sean, who does a good job of looking after me, ensuring I am fed, bathed and warm enough every day, and generally cheering me up to be a happy, jolly girl. She is a large part of my life, and I am a better person because of her.
Now, I’m not asking you to be best of friends; however, it would mean the world to me if you could just not be so terrified of her, and treat her like a normal, dignified human being.
I understand it is difficult for you to understand, let alone accept this truth.
I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out who I am, what is important in my life, who I love and how best to live life, as an expression of all these questions. I am proud of my life, and I would not choose to live it any other way (except also figuring out how to be gentler on the planet).
I’m sorry to mislead you to think I was only in a lesbian relationship because there was a shortage of good, suitable men in Hong Kong.
There are plenty of good men, they are just not for me.
Wishing you happiness.
Patiently yours,
Your daughter, Gigi.

The very public row between Hong Kong Property tycoon Cecil Chao and his lesbian daughter, Gigi Chao, has continued this week. After claiming in an interview with a Malaysian newspaper last week that he still did not accept his daughter’s choice of partner and would offer HK$1 Billion to any man that could win her heart, his daughter Gigi completed an open letter to her father.

In the letter she complimented her father and apologized for misleading him that she may be happy with a man. Ultimately, however, she was adamant that Sean Eav is the one for her. She stated, “I am comfortable and satisfied with my life and completely at ease with her.”  Gigi also expressed that “it would mean the world to me if you could just not be so terrified of her, and treat her like a normal, dignified human being.”

Cecil Chao replied to the letter in an interview with CNN this week. In the interview, Chao appeared slightly hurt at the way his daughter had declared her sexuality through an open letter. “She never tell (sic) me in person, I saw it on the paper” he said.

He then went on to say that “her private life is hers, if this is her choice, then it’s for her," suggesting that he somewhat accepted her choice. However, he also hinted that he did not see the situation as permanent. “she is only 33. Life changes. I mean I changed a lot when I was 33 to now.”

Perhaps most upsetting to Gigi was Chao’s blunt refusal to accept Sean Eav as part of the family. “I don’t have to accept her partner. It’s for she (sic) to accept her partner,” he said. The reporter followed up by asking if he welcomed Sean Eav into the family. Chao bluntly replied: “No.”

Below is the full letter, originally published in the South China Morning Post on Tuesday.

Dear Daddy,

I thought the timing was right for us to have a candid conversation.

You are one of the most mentally astute, energetic yet well mannered and hard-working people this humble earth has ever known.

Your confidence, quick wit, and charisma brightens any room you enter.

I love you very much, and I think I can speak for my brothers also, that we have the utmost respect for you as a father and role model in business.

I am sorry that people have been saying insensitive things about you lately. The truth is, they don’t understand that I will always forgive you for thinking the way you do, because I know you think you are acting in my best interests. And we both don’t care if anybody else understands.

As your daughter, I would want nothing more than to make you happy. But in terms of relationships, your expectations of me and the reality of who I am, are not coherent.

I am responsible for some of this misplaced expectation, because I must have misled you to hope there were other options for me. You know I’ve had male lovers in the past, and I’ve had happy, albeit short-lived, relationships. I found myself temporarily happy, buoyed by the freshness, the attention, the interest, of someone physically stronger than myself.

But it was always short-lived, as I quickly lost patience, and felt an indescribable discomfort in their presence. It usually made me frustrated, and I would yearn for my freedom again. I’ve broken a few hearts, hearts of good, honest and loving men, and I’m sorry that it had to be so.

But with Sean, a woman, somehow it was different. I am comfortable and satisfied with my life and completely at ease with her. I know it’s difficult for you to understand how I could feel romantically attracted to a woman; I suppose I can’t really explain it either. It just happens, peacefully and gently, and after so many years, we still love each other very much.

My regret is that you have no idea how happy I am with my life, and there are aspects of my life that you don’t share. I suppose we don’t need each other’s approval for our romantic relationships, and I am sure your relationships are really fantastic too.

However, I do love my partner Sean, who does a good job of looking after me, ensuring I am fed, bathed and warm enough every day, and generally cheering me up to be a happy, jolly girl. She is a large part of my life, and I am a better person because of her.

Now, I’m not asking you to be best of friends; however, it would mean the world to me if you could just not be so terrified of her, and treat her like a normal, dignified human being.

I understand it is difficult for you to understand, let alone accept this truth.

I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out who I am, what is important in my life, who I love and how best to live life, as an expression of all these questions. I am proud of my life, and I would not choose to live it any other way (except also figuring out how to be gentler on the planet).

I’m sorry to mislead you to think I was only in a lesbian relationship because there was a shortage of good, suitable men in Hong Kong.

There are plenty of good men, they are just not for me.

Wishing you happiness.

Patiently yours,

Your daughter, Gigi.

Reader's Comments

1. 2014-02-01 01:39  
This family has quite a few problems outside of having a lesbian daughter. To play this out in the media, is so low brow. These are private matters. The fact that each person probably has a publicist working for them points to a family that is connected only by blood. Wealth is often defined in more ways than money. The family seems poor indeed.
2. 2014-02-01 13:43  
Sad but true and for many others as well... I feel sorry for them. Time passes so quickly and they waste that precious time that they could all spend together. I have also seen the most stubborn parents accept their child's partner after some time so there is some hope at least...I wish them good luck and peace.

3. 2014-02-01 13:46  
Sad but true and for many others as well... I feel sorry for them. Time passes so quickly and they waste that precious time that they could all spend together. I have also seen the most stubborn parents accept their child's partner after some time so there is some hope at least...I wish them good luck and peace.

4. 2014-02-01 13:46  
Sad but true and for many others as well... I feel sorry for them. Time passes so quickly and they waste that precious time that they could all spend together. I have also seen the most stubborn parents accept their child's partner after some time so there is some hope at least...I wish them good luck and peace.

5. 2014-02-01 13:46  
Sad but true and for many others as well... I feel sorry for them. Time passes so quickly and they waste that precious time that they could all spend together. I have also seen the most stubborn parents accept their child's partner after some time so there is some hope at least...I wish them good luck and peace.

6. 2014-02-01 13:46  
Sad but true and for many others as well... I feel sorry for them. Time passes so quickly and they waste that precious time that they could all spend together. I have also seen the most stubborn parents accept their child's partner after some time so there is some hope at least...I wish them good luck and peace.

7. 2014-02-01 13:46  
Sad but true and for many others as well... I feel sorry for them. Time passes so quickly and they waste that precious time that they could all spend together. I have also seen the most stubborn parents accept their child's partner after some time so there is some hope at least...I wish them good luck and peace.

8. 2014-02-01 13:46  
Sad but true and for many others as well... I feel sorry for them. Time passes so quickly and they waste that precious time that they could all spend together. I have also seen the most stubborn parents accept their child's partner after some time so there is some hope at least...I wish them good luck and peace.

9. 2014-02-01 23:18  
What a sorry little drama! Idiot father and daughter who knows how to play the game. Pathetic both of them.
Comment #10 was deleted by its author on 2014-02-02 04:31
Comment #11 was deleted by its author on 2014-02-02 04:30
12. 2014-02-02 04:33  
Cecil, old boot,

We could trick your daughter. First you marry me, and then she has to marry a man too.

Mind you, in our pre-nuptial, you'd just have to agree to pay me HK$ 4,286,300 per year for the rest of your life during our marriage and after divorse. And of course, we keep separate residences, at your expense.

Contact me through this site and let's do it. ;-)
13. 2014-02-03 01:02  
It is amazing what gay people have to do to be happy because their family can not understand this. So often, gay people feel that they have harmed their family by coming out to them. In reality, it is the parents that have to get through the idea that they failed as a parent and that they are the cause of the homosexuality. I live in China and to see the extent that gay people go through to just live a happy life away from their unaccepting families is unbelievable. They will marry a lesbian to remain accepted in the family. They move far distances from the family so that they only have to answer about their inability to marry when they go home for holidays. Or, worst yet, they will marry a woman that they will never truly love, have a child when they don't want one, and live a miserable, unhappy life. For what? Just so that they can keep their family happy and not have the family lose "face" with others. That seems very selfish to a Westerner on the parts of the parents. It is bad enough that the parents only want children so that they have someone to support them in their old age. I am not sure many in China really know what love is or can be, compared to other parts of the world. Thankfully, many are discovering that and moving away from the group collective ideals and learning how to live life as an individual.
Comment #14 was deleted by its author on 2014-02-03 01:03
15. 2014-02-03 14:59  
Nashboroguy, don't judge us orientals by your own values. Just as we don't bash Whites for being cokeheads and obese
16. 2014-02-03 17:49  
New member...if I called you "oriental" you would be infuriated and tell me that is a rug, people are Asians. Yet you use it and more in poorly hidden attempt at derision. Let alone your self loathing to use your culture to hide who you really are. Nash is so spot on, exemplified by your post.

Oh and ASIANS do p l e n t y of bashing. More of your cultural superiority complex is showing that you think Asians are all sweet as sugar.
17. 2014-02-03 21:13  
Newmember has an agenda. Just read his profile.
18. 2014-02-03 23:34  
Oh, Cecil honey. Those sunglasses weren't fashionable when the alien lizards invaded Earth on the original V miniseries, and they aren't fashionable now.
19. 2014-02-04 02:10  
About 13, 15 and 16, maybe the right answer is that it was not so different in our Western societies a few dozen years ago.
Comment #20 was deleted by its author on 2014-02-04 06:39
21. 2014-02-04 06:39  
That is so Asian TV drama storyline... 'She didn't except the dowery, she's not one of us!' *dundamdunnn!*
22. 2014-02-04 17:37  
17. I know, tell me about it
19 true. But western gays have stood up and become visible and fought for rights. While Asians still stay closeted and live lives full of lies
23. 2014-02-04 18:31  
For the record, I meant no discrimination or bad feelings for the differences in our cultural gay lives. I was merely illustrating my observations. I do think it is sad that gay men in asia can not be who they were born to be because of family and cultural obligations. Yes. I think it is selfish of parents to "force" their children to marry and support them in their old age. But, I do understand the old tradition needed for this type of life. So, for those who think I am wrong for my observations, we will have to agree to disagree. It does not take away anything from my experiences here in China and my love of China. There are many things we will agree to disagree about. AND... at no time do I think USA is better than China. Afterall, we have Obama as President...Ha Ha.
Comment edited on 2014-02-05 14:33:26
24. 2014-02-05 03:43  
@22: I don't know which 'Asians' you are referring to, but it emphatically does not apply to gays in India. And I'd be careful to put millions of people in the same bag.

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