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28 Nov 2014

Online Media Draws Attention to Trials and Triumphs of Gay Couple in Rural China

If the story of one couple sharing a life together in rural China can serve as an early indicator, then the situation for gay Chinese men may be showing signs of  change—for the better.

It is widely acknowledged that China has been slow, in general, to warm to LGBT lifestyles. Indeed, outside of major metropolitan areas, heteronormativity continues to be perceived to be the only viable option for many seeking romantic relationships. However, as the Shanghaiiist notes, ongoing interest in Chinese newsmedia reports on the lives of Anwei and Yebin, who live openly as a gay couple in a small village near Shijiazhuang, Hebei province, suggests that support for gay partnerships may be growing.

Anwei and Yebin, who met on QQ in 2011 and moved to Yebin’s natal village together shortly after, have found support for their relationship from unlikely sources—including their parents, who state that they would rather see their sons happy and settled than eating the bitter fruit of an unhappy relationship. Yebin’s mother has even gone so far as to improvise a marriage contract for the two, who cannot marry legally under Chinese law. The contract protects the men, for example, by defining who will care for the men in old age (Yebin’s nephew’s have agreed to rise to the occasion), and outlining beneficiary rights should one pass away. She has also offered to counsel other gay people or their parents.

Nevertheless, Yebin and Anwei have overcome considerable obstacles on their path to partnership. In the past, both men’s parents sought to impose a heteronormative lifestyle through increasingly coercive measures—from setting them up with women, to hospitalizing them, and even, in Yebin’s case, by hiring a traditional medical practitioner to exorcise them. Even today, in their small village, the men face varying degrees of curiosity, judgment, and stigmatization from their neighbors.

Yet Yebin and Anwei persevere, and domestic support for their story, as reported in popular media sources, suggests that such perseverance is not without its positive effects. For Yebin and Anwei, knowing that the attention they’ve garnered may help to improve conditions for other gay men in similar situations brings its own rewards.

Reader's Comments

1. 2014-11-29 03:32  
excellent!
2. 2014-11-29 07:20  
Wishing you both much love and happiness forever. It is great your family supports you and a disgrace that a country like China is so far disconnected to the rest of the civilized world when it comes to gay relationships.
3. 2014-11-29 08:50  
it is a happy story indeed! the couple has the blessings of each family, it cannot be any better anywhere in the world whether a country recognises the relationship or not!

i wish them all the best for continuing happiness and togetherness!
4. 2014-11-29 11:36  
What a sweet story, offering a model for and hope to others like Anwei and Yebin. The greatest affirmation: these guys are building a life together in their own native countryside with the support of family rather than choosing the safe, anonymous haven of the city. This story speaks of love from the heart.
5. 2014-11-29 14:45  
YES!
Comment #6 was deleted by its author on 2014-11-29 14:48
7. 2014-11-29 16:58  
Well done.
8. 2014-11-29 18:52  
It is easy to find gay sex/fun in China. But same-sex relationship is very rare in China, even in big cities. If two open gay found a family, they will face tremendous pressure from the whole society, it's like cast themselves away on a desert island. Not to mention in the rural area, where people put a higher value on being the same. On this pic we only see the happy smiles on their faces, but I understand the two brave young country men's life must be very hard. And their parents are great, too. Wish them happiness.
Comment edited on 2014-11-29 18:56:36
9. 2014-11-29 21:40  
This is so beautiful to read. In time I hope we won't have to read stories about how unusual this is. It's also nice that there in a rural area and finding a life there.
The best if luck and live there.
10. 2014-11-30 01:05  
See, they do nothing wrong. They just want to be happy together. There is no political thing or anything against the government. I think every state should promote the happiness of their citizens. Wish them all the luck in the wolrd!
11. 2014-11-30 01:36  
Gives new meaning to cornhole. Ok ok, it was a joke, keep your panties on.

Seriously, hope it continues to work out for them.
12. 2014-11-30 01:44  
I was very, very pleased to have read about this step forward via one of my friends in Malaysia on Facebook. I spread it out to my network on Facebook as well, hoping they would also read and pass it along.

It might be just one infinitesimal step forward, but every step forward counts. Hopefully it keeps up!
13. 2014-11-30 03:20  
ahh young love - who cannot be touched and wish them long happiness xx
14. 2014-11-30 05:01  
Heroic! Thank you, Anwei and Yebin.
15. 2014-11-30 06:05  
Great story - Good luck to Yebin and Anwei.
16. 2014-11-30 06:36  
Having lived in the Tien He district of Guangzhou (Canton) China from 1994 to 2011, I have seen many changes for the better including and especially GLBT. When I first went there you never saw [here I am speaking of straight couples] holding hands, kissing or showing any form of outward loving emotions. It seems to me it was around 2005 when things had noticeably changed. At about the same time you would see boys and young men strolling the walk by the White Swan Hotel located on Shamian Island or walking along the path next to the Pearl River. On occasion you would see them in Yuexiu park under the trees, or in the subways. It is certainly a huge improvement in the seventeen year span. GREAT!!
17. 2014-12-01 07:13  
i am a gay man who never asks his straight friends what they do in bed with their female partners. im more concerned with their well being
which is health and hapiness.
so at the end of the day gays and straights are no different from each other in that respect only the preference of either sex.
18. 2014-12-01 07:46  
These boys should be very proud of raising such wonderful parents. Congratulations. Family should always stick together.
19. 2014-12-01 09:09  
I read a Chinese article a few months ago, which has more photos of them. I truly envy their love and wish them all the best.
20. 2014-12-01 15:36  
What a positive, uplifting and encouraging article around "all the usual bad news" coming from China around same-gender relationships. Small steps here, but big changes will follow. Look up Fan Popo's "Mama Rainbow" to feel empowered by those "small" changes.
21. 2014-12-01 21:40  
This featured true story vividly reminds me of another featured true story dated back to the year 2012 titled " Just Married! In Melbourne ". The 2012 featured news told the story of two Singaporean gay (Nic & Tim) who wedded in Melbourne after 10 years of relationship. Watching just a glimpse of their 4 minutes wedding video is more than enough to create a mesmerizing yet warmth and lasting feelings in me, strange to say no feelings of envy at all. Keep up your good effort - "Anwei & Yebin", "Nic & Tim " and many more sticky rice couples. For those sticky rice like myself who have been single for many many years, live your life as you need to but do not give up your hope when you may one day finds your soul mate and who knows if you true story will also be featured by Fridae.
22. 2014-12-05 02:38  
So nice to hear a positive story amongst all the dark issues that appear related to people gaining some sort of normality.
23. 2014-12-27 12:29  
Love prevails. :)
24. 2015-04-30 05:39  

Hello my dear,
i am happy to contact you after
viewing your profile and it interest
me to contact you for a genuine relationship,
please contact me here(nicolemakuza1992@hotmail.com)
so that i will share my feelings with
you for further communication.
Thanks, your friend Nicole.
(nicolemakuza1992@hotmail.com)

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