Fridae

因为我想你一晚又一晚（碗）🤪

原来一个人长大后才懂得什么是沉默寡言，长大后才懂得爱是那么的奢侈，长大后才懂得活得现实些。每一段感情教会我的是少些说话，既是付出的只是感情和关怀，也不一定得到回报。爱总是离我那么遥远。从小到大都是如此。

原来这个世界上，有些人真的不具备对爱有更多要求。不是每个人都具备要求幸福的权利。需要的关怀和理解变得越来越奢侈，即使是很简单很简单的一个眼神的肯定。

累了，这次真的累了。活在流浪的生活中让我感觉累了。感情漂漂泊泊那么多年，仿佛没有靠岸的一天。所有的若言总是那么不堪一击。唯有以沉默寡言应对。即使哭，也只能眼里流泪。默默地默默地放下。不需要奢求更多。爱一个人不一定要拥有对方不是吗？人生总是那么不堪一击。

祈求了很多次，终将也变成乞求。尊严被无限压垮。或许对方也是同感。既然大家都累了，总得学习放下。放过彼此或许更好过些。

忍着，人生就这样忍着吧。没事。这些坎很快就过去了。走过了那么多坎，最终也不是过去了吗？黑夜总会结束的，即使多么漫长。

Learning to let go. Learning to be strong with my fainted heart. 

Need to learn to accept what is gone.

Your just a pcs of choice for other ppl..

Life has come to such a point that partying is not what I need. Occasional small gatherings are nice but no drinking nor smoking. Evern without that, life already installed so much illnesses for you. sigh.. you cannot really run away from illnesses... it is the karma that you need to have your own taste of your own medicine (somewhere in time, I must have done that to someone).

Anyway, happiness in life comes with the right company and enjoying the simplicity of things around you. Cherished those who loves you and makes you happy, and keep away from toxic people, if you can avoid them (not all can you get away from them).

Just live, work and practice, until the last days of life. Give loves to those who really needs. (not easy though)

There is so much definition to a "good soul".

Took a short trip to Penang and I basked happily in the culture she emanated.

Penang has a vibrant food culture lined along streets and alleyways amidst pre-war homes in charming Georgetown. Is so pretty and quaint. 

The town is painted in vintage hues with bursts of Hipster middle tones. There is the old and new mingling in sync with warmth, passion, creativity, entrepreneur ship and identity. The locals are humble, kind and friendly. I must applaud Penang cuisine as being Wow! 

Penang has clean streets and is safe...so don't worry but enjoy her alluring charms and enticing tastes when you visit.

Thanks for overwhelming me Penang with your beauty, inside out.

P.S. Their prices are the same for locals and tourists.

I have not written for awhile and my mind is sleeplessly tossing and turning, eager to pen again. I thought I will delve into the Toxic Persona. How she has Tortured many mercilessly without any conscience or guilt. I will give it a go...haha. 

my last post back in 2017 was about you..

In a blink of an eye, the chapter still ends with you...

this time with a little more memories of your elusive soul I was never told. 

I hold dear the brightest smiles, warmest hugs that once engulf my soul.

Am grateful for a lot of things.
I always believed that everything happens for a reason.
Was stressed at first, when mom insisted on adopting a dog (Year 2017) but shortly after that, you were diagnosed with cancer. I then lose a relationship after that. But we persevered and learned to love and accept it as it is. We gone through hardships together, step by step, day by day. Those are the precious memories we created and will forever be remembered and cherished. 
It was the most difficult time in my life, having to go through multiple heartbreaks while being a caretaker for the whole household. It was super tough but we pushed on.
Will forever remember the promise I made to you before you left us. One is that i will take good care of dad. Another is that I will be with someone who cherished me as much as i cherish her. Good news, Dad has learned to be more expressive and decisive. Am sure you are watching us from up above.
Hershey is considered to belong to you but as a family dog, she is very attached to me. She is very obedient as always. A few times it crossed my mind, that I hope I live longer than Hershey. Could not imagine how she would be without me. 

Am very grateful that you guys accept me for who I am and accept my partner (whoever I brought home in the past). Thank you for offering them the same love you gave me. Grateful for being brought up in loving environment. Most important for us in life is peaceful love. 

Grateful to have quality friends who puts in effort and finds the time to meet up a few times a year. Everybody is "busy" with our own things but it is a great feeling knowing each of us sincerely arrange to meet up. Not forcing to meet up but sincerely make time wanting to meet up although we are "busy". That is the beauty of true friendship. Grateful to be surrounded by humble people, where we just chat about simple things including how to be frugal and maximize savings.
Hope we continue to cherish each other and make good memories together.
Hope we continue to respect each other without comparing or look down/put down anyone. We don't need each other to be rich to be amazing. We are amazing just the way we are.

If you ever feel lost, if people you care about putting you down, spiritually, mentally abusing/bullying you, remember; that you are NOT unworthy. You are NOT insignificant. Know this; those who makes you feel this low and unworthy, may be "smart/rich/talented" (whatever reason you are attracted to them) but it's not worth risking away your self-worth & your self-esteem for them. 
They will always doubt your intentions. Everything you say or do is always wrong to them because they do not know how to love and cherish you. They may judge that you do not know how to accept others but in reality they do not see themselves being mean to you. In fact, they are not bothered even if they know it. Their inability to love you, has nothing to do with you.

You are not anyone else's back-up plan. You are worth more than being their second/last choice. You can't force yourself to stop caring for someone, but you can tell yourself that you deserve better. Never settle to be anyone's second best. Raise your standards and choose to be with someone who will treat you with the same respect and consideration you would treat them. You can't expect to be someone else's priority if you are not prioritizing yourself first.

Be a true friend before you can be anything else. What goes around, always comes around. How you treat others, comes back to you through other ways. If you take what you experience and carry them as a trauma, it will eventually turn you into a cold person and incapable of love. Whereas if you carry the past experience as lessons, you may be a more warm, kind and loving person. 
Someday you will learn to trust, learn to accept love and not fear it and not hide from it. You will be more open to express how you feel and have a proper conversation without being confrontational.

If you are a happier and better person (kinder, warmer, empathethic) being with a certain person, that is when you know you are being around the right people.
Everything is build from reciprocity. Learn to give and you will receive greater things.   

At the end of the day, what is important and leaves a mark in people's heart, is L.O.VE.
Love yourself.
Love your partner & family. 
Because everything in life, is led by love. 

In different stage of life, us girls, women, goes through stages or hormonal change. 
I guess the one to understand us most is our women friends and partners.
Please not forget to be patient & supportive when your partner is throwing tantrum like a child, if she is being super sensitive and even lash out at you for something trivial. It's most likely the hormones (menopause) and other matters in her life that bothers her. Please love her and treat her well.
As for the one facing the hormone issues, please take good care of yourselves, please slow down and do daily reflections. Do not blame yourself too much on the uncontrolled emotions and your actions towards your partner/friends.

Life is short and time does not stop for us. Love yourself, show proper love to people you love and be grateful they love you back unconditionally. 
Keep close, those who treat you right, those who listens and understands. Those who are willing to learn to love and understand you, those who chose to stay. Those who are sad when you are, those who are happy to see you happy, those who always lifting you up.
Let go of those who does the opposite and those who are toxic. Love yourself and trust that you deserve love. Only then you are able to see with your heart and realize and grateful there are genuine people right beside you. Those who truly love you, will be happy for you in finding genuine love.

此生最好的运气
就是遇见了你
刚好你也爱我
我也爱着你
在这个尴尬年纪
我不再是一个人
多幸运能和你在一起

此生最大的欢喜
就是等到了你
是你带我走出
那片沼泽地
从我们交换信物
深情相望那刻起
我的余生就是你

我希望五十年以后
你还能在我左右
和你坐在摇椅里
感受那夕阳的温柔
听微风轻轻地吹
听河水慢慢地流
再聊聊从前日子
刚谈恋爱的时候

我希望五十年以后
你还能在我左右
那时都已白了头
还想听你叫我丫头
轻轻牵着你的手
静静靠在你胸口
这个画面是不是就叫做
长相厮守

A lot of us tends to get lost in daily conversations with friends and families. The fun of having interactions and sharing informations and feelings. Most common mistake we did is hearing to answer instead of listening to understand. Sometimes wanting to be right is tempting when replying. Needs a wiser person to be able to stay calm, listen carefully and understanding the feelings of the person sharing the information. Not everthing is about right or wrong, most important is being understanding.

Lastly, nobody is smarter or richer than the other (in a way). Respect others' feelings, career, background, etc.

TIME...TIME is precious to each and everyone of us. Most of us lost in the everyday life, neglected the fact that we need to view and feel certain things with the heart. Not just with the plain sight.

Some tend to think others are "too free" as they think/feel they are the only person focusing on their life and career with no time to spare. Before judging others, try to "understand" and view from the heart. Some of these people are multi-taskers with big heart. They could be empathetic and still care about other people or tasks even when they are busy with their own shit. People make time instead of making excuses, to do things that matters to them. You matter to them as they made time for you. 

同居人が、僕とは別行動で、我が父のところに行ってきた。

父に靴を買ってくれたらしく、父は喜んでいた。

でも、僕は単純に喜べない。

彼は、そうやって、ピンポイントに人に好感を持たれそうなところにお金を使う。

でも、普段の生活費の分担割合はものすごく低いのだ！

それを指摘したら、なんか子供帰りした声になって「半分出してるよ〜」と言った。数日後に、「車の支払いもあるし」と言っってきた。

それじゃあ、何かい？僕の車関係の支払いも合わせて、２で割っていいんですか？

ってことになる。

まあ、これは衆人環視のSNSには書けないよな。

A link to a movie clip site.

Biggest Monster Penises extraordinary Chat Online On Cruisingcams.com at GayPorno.fm

17 February 2024 Saturday 10:15 am Sunny

Two days ago, which is a day after Valentine's Day, a member from a gay dating group commented that he did not have "someone" to celebrate Valentine's Day. He wondered why he joined the group if he doesn't get to date someone physically. What followed, of course, were members responding to that post, claiming that they, too, are singles and lonely on Valentine's Day. 

I am single. I am alone every festive season and every special day. But I am not lonely. Even on Valentine's Day, I am lonely. I was sending hearts and greetings to people online. I was not bitter. The day was not gloomy for me at all.

Celebrating and commemorating special days need not be spending hundreds of dollar dining, buying gifts, go to hotel and so on. A simple message, an emoticon or even sharing from a post are ways to spread my love and concern to my friends. That, to me, is what Valentine's Day is all about. To me, receiving heat emoticons or pictures are ways to tell me that I am in your thought. Same goes to me. Sending virtual hearts signifies my love and concern for you. I just want you to know that you are not alone. Even though we are thousands of mile apart; even if we are in different continents,  it will not stop me from "spending " Valentine's Day with you (online).

Happy (belated) Valentine's Day. ❤💋

小朋友：阿姨車上那訊號是車子壞了嗎？

我：車子某個零件有問題了

小朋友：那妳要記得送完我們之後要送去修喔....

第二天在車上

小朋友很大聲的問

阿姨妳昨天沒把車子送去修理嗎

我：太遲了 等休息日再送去

小朋友：那妳要記得喔

如果不能修 就放在旁邊 買新的一輛...

我： 哦！好的

過了一會兒小朋友問 阿姨那妳夠錢買嗎....

我：不夠喔...怎麼辦

小朋友在思考著....

我：那你請爸爸借錢給阿姨好嗎

小朋友：我爸爸也不夠錢咧.....

我：那怎麼辦... 

小朋友轉頭去和其他小朋友玩

剪刀石頭布去......

喜歡這份工作

因為可以看到小朋友的

純真無邪

沒心機

他們偶然

會帶餅干給我

還會提醒小心駕車

不要駕快快

和她們在

一起自己也變成大孩子了.......

😇😇😇

🚲🏍️🛵

 同居者はデブ専。僕は、痩せてきたし、もっと痩せたい。そこからして、ズレはあるんだけど。

昨日、同居者は、よその人と飲食をしに行く予定だったので、僕は僕で一人で何を食べようか？と考えていた。

そうしたら、何を考えたのか、同居者が、2日遅れの恵方巻きを拵えていった。それもお米を２合も炊いて。

帰ってきた時、僕は半分だけ食べて後は残してたんだけど。同居人曰く「全部食べなかったの？」と。

痩せたいというだけでなく、最近の処方薬の関係で、炭水化物を減らそうと努力しているところで、それは伝えているのに、である。

なんか、色々と「してくれて」いるつもりなんだろうけど、そこには「これだけ頑張れば、誠意は伝わるだろう」的なものを感じる。むしろ「誠意をちゃんと受け止めろよ」と。

「結果より努力が大事だ」的な言葉も好きらしい。

いやいや、細かいところ慮れなかったら、台無しだよ！と言いたい。

Pheeeew! Managed to finish first draft of this song, titled, "Valentine Crush" today, 28 January 2024, 12.38pm. Here goes the song....

Title : Valentine Crush

Verse 1

Two perfect strangers having

Silly insane crushes

Over each other

Fleeting secret glances

Checking out each other

Behind tinted shades

Wanna swoon over her

Daydream about her

When will we ever

Fall for each other

Chorus

My Valentine Crush

Please say you'll be mine

Let's make Valentine's Day

The best day for our start

An amazing life

Filled with sweetest love

My promise to you

My Valentine dream girl

Verse 2

She accidentally

Brush touch my hand one day

Then held my palm tightly

Her face all shy but cute

My heart racing like crazy

I just clumsily froze

She turned and held me close

Softly she said to me

I waited for you

To make the first move

But I like you too much

You're my Valentine Crush

( Repeat Chorus )

Bridge

My Valentine Crush

She's my baby girl now

My Valentine Crush

She's my friend and lover

My Valentine Crush

She makes me so happy

My Valentine Crush

She loves me like no other

My Valentine Crush

She's all I ever want

Copyright 28.1.2024 Indigo Swee

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