11 Apr 2006

Pink: I'm Not Dead

Fridae's Ms Mariah Scary is offended by Pink's "Stupid Girls" although she grudgingly admits that Pink's new album proves that her pop career is anything but dead.

Artist: Pink

Having watched Pink's "Stupid Girls"¯ video, Ms Scary is outraged by Pink's uncalled for attack on upstanding members of Ms Scary's sorority including Ms Paris Hilton, Ms Kate Olsen, Ms Lindsay Lohan and Ms Jessica Simpson!

Why, the bisexual popstar even dared to label them as "porno paparazzi girls" with no discernible talent other than flippin' their blonde locks and pushin' up their bras! (Ms Scary's note to Pink: "Bold words indeed Missus! Coming from a skank with questionable taste in hooker outfits and hair hues!"¯)

Fortunately for Ms Alecia Beth Moore aka Pink, Ms Scary is a true professional and will not let that affront affect her review of the Doylestown, Pennsylvania native's fourth album. Especially not when the sassy singer's I'm Not Dead is a vast improvement over her 2003 release Try This.

Teaming up with Max Martin (Britney Spears and 'NSync) and Billy Mann (Backstreet Boys and Kelly Rowland), the 2003 Grammy award winner offers a selection of 15 tracks which could best be described collectively as "pop-with-balls".

There's the pop-swagger of lead single "Stupid Girls"¯; the Kelly Clarkson-sque "Who Knew¯;" the hard-hitting I'm Not Dead¯; the throwaway pop of "Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely¯;" the unrelenting dance-rock of the rudely titled "U + Ur Hand"¯; and the folk harmonisation of "Dear Mr. President" with its scathing lyrics (sample: "And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?"¯).

In sharp contrast, a number of Pink-in-mellow-mood tracks such as "The One That Got Away," "I Got Money Now"¯ and "Conversations With My 13 Year Old Self"¯ attempt to recapture the growing pains of Missundaztood's "Family Portrait¯ but ended up sounding like Alanis Morissette's cast-off confessions.

Fortunately, the album redeems itself by closing with a hidden gem entitled "I Have Seen The Rain"¯ where the 26-year-old pop princess duets with her father Jim Moore who also wrote the track (All together now: Awwwww).

Based on the strengths of I'm Not Dead, Ms Scary firmly believes that the in-your-face singer songwriter has proven that the party's only getting started and her pop career is still in the "pink"¯ of health (groan).

Scary's Selected Spins: "Stupid Girls¯;" "Who Knew¯;" "Dear Mr. President¯;" "I'm Not Dead¯;" "Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)¯;" "U + Ur Hand¯;" and "I Have Seen The Rain."