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27 Aug 2003

something to believe in

For most heterosexuals, they are survived by their children and leave a legacy behind through them. But what is there for gay people - most of whom will remain childless? Glenn Chua ponders how one can make life more relevant than the last party or the last lay.

Everybody needs a cause. Something to work for, something to believe in. Some years ago, a friend and I thought of volunteering for Action for Aids in Singapore. It didn't happen - there was a long list of would-be volunteers at the time. But the desire to be part of something socially relevant stayed with me. I finally got a chance to do something about it after I got back to Manila, when I came across PKB Projects.

PKB Projects is a spin-off from PKB, gay social e-group, which now sponsors a College Scholarship Grant in 2002 and feeding projects for an orphanage in Quezon City (see pic above).
I first learned of PKB Projects when I joined the PKB Yahoogroup at a friend's suggestion. There was talk about an orphanage visit, and that got my interest going. I read up on PKB Project's objectives and policies, then emailed some people to set up a meeting.

The ironic thing is that PKB was set up as a gay social e-group, another venue to mingle, meet and mate, and it still is. But as it evolved, there were people who had the idea of taking the idea of support one step further - and PKB Projects was born.

The group has several projects running concurrently. One is a scholarship project, aimed allowing a scholar to finish a university education. The second is an annual orphanage visit, where members treat the kids to a meal and some entertainment. I understand they also contribute to the St. Aelred organisation, a local support group that holds regular meetings aimed at providing information and mutual understanding of the gay life to men in Manila.

I met up for coffee with one of the Executive Committee members, who I shall call V in respect for his privacy. Turns out we were from the same alma mater, and we spent some time getting comfortable chatting about school before going on to business. I was pleased with the guy's thoroughness. He had supporting documents, bank statements, detailed accounting sheets, school transcripts and enrolment records for the scholar - enough information to put my naturally sceptical mind at ease.

I mean, let's face it. Before I decide to hand over my money to person I'd just met, rentboys notwithstanding, I have to be sure I'm not being taken for a ride. The competence reassured me. It's a fact that many of the straights doubt the competence and professionalism of gay organisations, and I was glad PKB Projects was able to disprove that perception.

"So tell me about the scholar. Is he gay?" I started off.

"We don't know. We never asked, though some think so," V told me. "It wasn't a requirement.

Although the scholarship IS limited to male students." Not because of any gender bias, he reassured me. "It's just that girls are usually more studious, so we felt that boys needed more encouragement."
He told me about the selection process, how they'd approached several public high schools asking for the top five male students who needed assistance for further schooling.

PKB Projects is a spin-off from PKB, gay social e-group, which now sponsors a College Scholarship Grant in 2002 and feeding projects for an orphanage in Quezon City (see pic above).
"It was sad. Sometimes, we had to go down as far as 20th on a list ranked by grades before we found a boy." Once they'd narrowed it down, they did some background work, even going to visit the prospective scholar's home to meet his family.

The project covers the scholar's school fees as well as a reasonable allowance so he can concentrate on his studies. "One of our basic policies is that the scholar isn't allowed to work while studying. With an allowance, he doesn't have to rely on his family's limited resources - if he's frugal, he can even help out."

There is also a rotating "mentor" who monitors the scholar's progress. "You know how 'emotional' we gay men get sometimes," V explained with a knowing smile. "We want to make sure that everything stays professional."

We went on to talk about the orphanage visit and other things. At the end of the meeting, I made a small contribution to the Project. He told me how some people working overseas arranged to send contributions as well, either through bank transfer or having someone carry it back when they visit.

Currently, there were people in the US, Singapore and I think, Europe, who took charge of contributions, and arranged for an e-mail acknowledgement and receipt to be sent to the donor. "Some people want to stay anonymous," he explains as he showed me the list.

As we went on our separate ways, I mused about the meeting. I was glad to be able to help even in a small way, and thought that their goals were admirable, even noble. It's not a party - there's a lot of work involved, and little visible reward or recognition for it. But knowing that you were able to help someone, to have had some impact on someone's life, that perhaps made my own life count for something.

It's a human thing to want to leave a legacy behind, something that will make your life count. For straights, their immortality lies in children, descendants. But for gay people, what is there? What would make life more relevant than the last party or the last lay?

In a way, perhaps now I can think of the scholar and the kids from the orphanage as the children I am unlikely to ever have. Not all of us will leave great works behind. But then little works have their joy and value, too.

Everybody needs a cause. I don't know if this is mine. But it's a start.

For more information on PKB Projects, or to make your own contribution, please visit: http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/pkbprojects.

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