“So you’re straight now?” It’s an awkward welcome for a bi friend’s new partner. The same goes for “You’ve finally picked a side.” A person’s bisexuality doesn’t change with the gender of someone they date.

The Trevor Project’s guide describes bisexuality as the capacity for attraction or relationships with more than one gender.

Introductions can be simple

Start with the partner’s name. Ask how they met, or how their evening is going. There’s plenty to talk about when you’re getting to know someone.

Stonewall recommends following people’s own language for their identity and relationships. Your friend might use bi, bisexual, pan, queer or another term. Use the words they choose, and check with them before sharing their sexuality with anyone else.

Got a better welcome than “You’ve picked a side”? Leave a fictional example in the comments. A sentence or two is enough; leave names and private details out.

When you’re the partner

The Trevor Project addresses another familiar assumption: that bi people want multiple partners or are likely to cheat. Being bi tells you neither of those things. A bi person may want a monogamous relationship or a non-monogamous one.

Ask your partner directly: are we exclusive? What boundaries do we each want? If something bothers either of us, how will we bring it up? Take time over the answers, and return to them when you need to.

And if you’re a friend, keep the invitations coming. When someone starts dating a new partner, they may still want that night out with the people they already know.