Batman Begins takes viewers back to the origins of the
Bat mythology: At a young age, Bruce Wayne falls into a
well where he is attacked by bats. He learns to become very afraid
of them. But later, when his parents are murdered, Bruce decides
to avenge them by turning into a Bat himself. Talk about bats in
the belfry!

However, Bruce must first undergo some kungfu training before he
becomes the big feared Bat. So he dumps his virginal girlfriend
Rachel to travel to the snow-capped mountains of Himalayas where
he joins a group of ninjas who say Yoda-ish things like, "To conquer
fear, you must become fear." (Though we never see these ninjas eat
fortune cookies, we suspect they form the bulk of the ninja's strict
diet.)

When Bruce returns to his city of Gotham, he takes a fancy to black
S&M costumes and starts to fly around the city in a mask and cloak.
What a drag… Subsequently, he has to save the city from poisoned
water that would make all them go crazy.

Well, that in essence is the batty story of Batman Begins.
But the film is fairly slick and entertaining, thanks to the skilled
direction of Christopher Nolan. The man who directed the superb
art-house thrillers, Memento and Insomnia, lends
his customary intelligence to the Bat-lore. Though you sometimes
feel that Christopher's art-house instincts are at odds with the
film's summer blockbuster mode, the film acquits itself well.

The new Batman actor, Christian Bale, is also waaaaay
hotter than any of the Batman actor we've ever had — namely,
Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer and George Clooney. Unlike the last three
actors, Christian actually has a six-pack. So when he dons the Batman
suit with its fake plastic six-pack, we don't feel cheated.

We gay men have one question on our minds though: If Batman is
played by such a young hot pretty boy, who's gonna play Robin in
future sequels? McCaulay Culkin?