When I was told that I would be assigned to interview any three of my favourite Manhunt 2010 contestants, I decided to play it cool and scream like Jamie Lee Curtis throughout Halloween circa 1978.
Later that afternoon, when the Manhunt organiser couriered over pictures of this year’s hunks-in-trunks, I had to beat off the rest of the Fridae staffers who swarmed around the package like ravenous refugees at a food drop.
Based on the objective measure of the amount of blood rushing to my loins, I finally decided on Manhunt winner and sports programme manager Jovin (24) as well as national servicemen (service me!) Xavier (22) and Kasbani (21).
When I met up with the tasty trio who turned out to be far more tantalising in the flesh, I found that I had to expend considerable effort towards repressing my inner cougar and resisting the urge to shout out: “I want him, him and him washed and brought to my tent!”
Fortunately, as a writer of impeccable professionalism, I was able to conduct the interview in a most professional manner – by barking out questions a la Lucy Liu’s dominatrix-like motivational expert persona in Charlie Angels (2000).
æ: Manhunt 2010 has been described as a hunt for “good faces, attractive personalities, well-defined physiques” and well-hungness (alright, alright, I inserted the last attribute myself). How would you rate yourself on each of these attributes?
Jovin: I would say I score 7 or 8 out of 10 for my looks, 7 out of 10 for my physique and 10 out of 10 for my personality.
Xavier: I believe I have above average looks and a well-proportioned body. More importantly, I am passionate about what I want and what I aim for. Being well-hung or not is not that important when you know how to use your “tool” properly.
Kasbani: I think I have boyish good looks and a bubbly personality, and I can get along well with anyone. I train 3 to 4 times a week to develop my physique and my hard work paid off when I won the Best Abs 2010 title. And as for being well-hung, I give myself 8 out of 10!
(An audible gasp could be heard from Alvin Tan and he shifts his seat closer, much closer, to Kasbani.)
æ: As Manhunt contestants, there is the possibility that you could be stereotyped as heavenly himbos. How would you go about correcting the public’s misconception that one could have more scintillating conversations with a cocktail straw?
Jovin: Don’t you find that those who stereotype others are the ones not using their brains? If given a chance, I would like to engage them in a conversation and show them how witty and intelligent a Manhunt contestant can be.
Xavier: I agree. To me, it’s all about communication, communication and communication. If you know how to communicate and express yourself well enough, you would not be stereotyped as a himbo.
Kasbani: Well, I’ll be taking my degree next year so I don’t think I’m a himbo. Anyway, I believe that one must have looks, body and brains to succeed in a pageant.
æ: Prior to and during the competition, you had to parade around in skimpy swimwear at public venues and clubs, how do you keep yourself from getting over-sexcited and suffering manhood malfunctions?
Jovin: I believe that the swimwear we wore looked sporty not skimpy! But to keep myself from getting over-sexcited, I just focus on the important task at hand or else think of some really scary incidents!
Xavier: I never have any issues with getting over-sexcited. I am good at controlling myself.
Kasbani: I’m used to it. I just try not to have sexual thoughts although us guys have an over-active imagination. Usually, I’ll just focus on the judges or the cameraman to prevent myself from getting over-sexcited.
æ: Other than possessing a physique made for Speedos, what are some of the other “weapons” in your arsenal that could always be relied upon for a successful kill when you are pursuing the object of your desire?
Jovin: I think the wisdom, communication skills and life experience I have accumulated over the years would be my best weapons! Usually, a good friendly boyish smile or a manly one, depending on what the object prefers, would do the trick.
Xavier: My weapon of mass seduction would be my aspiring attitude and my earnestness when pursuing my goals.
Kasbani: Other than my physique, I would say my eyes (winks at Alvin Tan). I usually just let my eyes do the talking and then sweet-talk my way into the person’s heart.
(At this point, Alvin Tan is practically swooning and had to have a bib tied around his neck.)
Winner Jovin Koh (left) will represent Singapore
at the Manhunt International 2011 pageant
æ: Speaking of objects of desire, which character in Sex and the City would you date and/or bed - Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and/or Samantha, and why?
Jovin: Carrie because she may not be the hottest but her overall charisma and X-factor are unbeatable! She looks well put together and dresses really well!
Xavier: Samantha! She’s full of passion – both in her outlook on life and in the way she talks! That’s how humans should be – we are born to make love!
Kasbani: I would date Carrie for sure! I like down-to-earth types and plus she’s a writer so it’ll be cool to chat with her. But for bed, I would pick Samantha – she’s hot and loves to talk dirty!
æ: We should all get together then! I’m a writer, I dress well and I talk like a strippergram all the time!
Jovin, Kasbani and Xavier: (stunned silence)
æ: And finally, as our interested readers are dying to know, what, in the words of Perez Hilton at the Miss USA 2009 pageant, are your views on gay marriages?
Jovin: If a man and a woman can get married, why can’t a gay couple who are equally in love get married? If my son is gay and falls in love with another man, I would give them my blessings.
Xavier: Gay marriages are totally fine. We should have the freedom to love anyone we want and most importantly, to live a happy life!
Kasbani: We live in an open-minded society and showing affection towards the same sex should be allowed so that we can all be happy. Thumbs up for gay marriages!
æ: So will you marry me?
Jovin, Kasbani and Xavier (in unison): We thought you would never ask!
(Editor’s note: According to reliable eye-witnesses’ accounts, the three Manhunt contestants did not respond to the last question as they bolted for the exit.)