Gay American director Graham Streeter has had years of experience making TV shows and commercials in Japan and the United States. His many works include a raunchy video on S&M/bondage called Digital Fetish and hilarious TV promos for Fox Sports (check them out on grahamstreeter.com)

But when he decided to make his first full-length movie, he chose to do it in Singapore. "I came here in 2000 to teach filmmaking, and I was struck by strange beauty of this place. Maybe it was the newness of it all; but every turn, every corner held a surprise for me," said the 43-year-old, who came out of the closet 18 years ago and has been in a monogamous relationship with the same man since.

His film Cages is an accomplished family drama about a father who seeks to reestablish ties with his estranged daughter, whom he abandoned 20 years ago. The role of the father is wonderfully played by the late Japanese-American actor Makoto Iwamatsu, who was nominated for an Oscar in 1966 and has appeared in big Hollywood movies such as Pearl Harbor and Memoirs of a Geisha.

Makoto learnt Chinese and Singlish for three months before stepping in front of the camera. And his efforts paid off enormously: His performance as an aged Singaporean man is warm, sincere and wholly convincing. Unfortunately Makoto died last year before the film's release in Singapore. It is a loss that the cast and crew have not quite come to terms with.

Meanwhile, the role of the daughter is played by the ever-reliable Tan Kheng Hua. Graham raved: "Kheng was perfect for the part. A lot of good, beautiful actresses auditioned for the part, including Caldecott queen Zoe Tay and ex-MTV VJ Nadya Hutagalung. But Kheng was just able to find and illuminate all corners of her character."

The title Cages refers to bird cages that the father sells, as well as the psychological cages that both father and daughter are trapped in before they finally learn to open up to each other.

Fridae spoke to Graham about Zoe Tay, gay cultures and - perhaps more importantly - the mysterious art of being in a monogamous gay relationship.

æ: Why did you choose Singapore as the location for your first film?

Graham: Asia's my second home. I lived in Japan for 10 years, and I wanted to make a film there for the longest time. But after years of living there, the passion and the inspiration that comes from living in a new place seeps away, so I just couldn't do it.

When I came to Singapore for the first time, it offered me all those things. I went to Tiong Bahru and discovered this unusual little world where people hung birdcages on high poles and listen to the birds sing. And I knew I wanted to set my film there.

æ: Forgive me for asking, but as a foreigner making a film in Singapore about Singaporeans, how much do you know about this country?

Graham: (laughs) Yes, I've raised a few eyebrows. Some audiences have asked me, "Is this a Singaporean film? Is this an American film?" I'm not a Singaporean and I've never pretended to be. I couldn't make an authentic Singaporean film like Jack Neo, who seems to have his pulse on the city.

But if Ang Lee - a favorite director of mine - can make a movie about gay cowboys, I don't see why I can't make a film about Singaporeans. In the same vein, just because I'm a gay filmmaker, it doesn't mean I have to make a gay film or a film with a single gay character in it.

I really wanted to tell a universal story about a father-daughter relationship - one that almost anyone can relate to, one that would be seen in other countries. Right now, if you were to ask an American or European what he/she thinks of Singapore, it'll probably draw a blank. But if you get them to say, "Oh yeah, Singapore… I saw it in that movie Cages, and the place looked lovely", then I think I've achieved something.

æ: The Singapore Tourism Board must be so proud of you...Anyway, I understand some terrific actresses came to audition for the lead role but didn't land the part.

Graham: I was in Los Angeles. Zoe Tay happened to be Los Angeles too with her handsome fiancé (now husband) and she heard about the project. She was an absolutely warm and wonderful woman but her English was not as good as it had to be, so we passed on her. Meanwhile, Nadya Hutagalung was very beautiful but not very experienced as an actress, so we had to pass on her too. But that's normal, that's what auditions are for.

The part eventually went to Tan Kheng Hua, who's just a great actress. She reminds me of Madonna, you know. She's in her 40s, really fit and buff, and works hard at her craft. There's so much written on her face, and that scar that runs down her chin is so sexy.

æ: I've seen Kheng on stage for the first time when I was 17. I love her! Anyway, you lived in Japan for ten years. And you've been in and out of Singapore for the past seven. Are there any differences you've observed between the Asian and Western gay culture?

Graham: Asian gay culture is young. When a young Asian man, for example, discovers that he is gay, he tends to adopt this whole gay culture - the music, the language, the fashion, the attitude, the haircut - so that he can belong to a group, so he doesn't have to be alone in that painful journey of self-discovery. He becomes a "culturally gay" person who likes stuff like Madonna or Faye Wong. But those things have absolutely nothing to do with his sexuality - nothing. He ends up accepting the whole lifestyle package just because the other gay men around him do.

In the Western/European gay culture, there's a little more freedom and diversity because the gay culture is older. There's a clear separation between homosexuality and homo-culture. I can pick my sexuality and I can pick my culture - and the two of them don't have to be the same. I can be a gay man and I can still like football. I can be a gay man but I don't have to like Madonna. I can be a gay man but I don't have to like Elton John. There's more freedom to be whatever you want to be.

After all, why do I want to be like everyone else when I have an opportunity to be an individual? By saying that I'm gay, I'm already putting my neck on the line. I'm already staking my life, my work and my reputation to tell people that I'm different. Why do I want to cower back into another inclusive group? I might as well be heterosexual.

æ: But that might also be tied to the Western espousal for individualism. Asian cultures tend to be more collectivistic - though I don't know how much of an impact that has on their gay cultures. Anyway, you've been with your partner monogamously for 18 years. That's amazing. What's the secret to long-term gay monogamy?

Graham: Well, we're both openly gay, so all our friends and family know about us. When you tell everyone you're a couple (instead of being secretive of it), there's a bigger incentive to make the relationship work.

The other secret is making friends with other gay couples in long-term relationships. We tend to have a good effect on one another. Of course, we have other friends too - single, gay, straight, married, etc - but it's important to have gay friends who are also in LTRs.

I've been with my partner Alex for 18 years. I know him so well that, at any time, I can say something that will make him furious in 10 seconds flat, so furious that he'll want to break up with me. He can do the same to me. But I don't do it because I don't want to. We both look at things in the long-term: We're not getting any younger, thinner or prettier. So we don't want to ruin what we have and start all over again.

The problem is, as you get older, you start to ask yourself these questions a lot: "Am I still attractive to men? Would other men want to be with me?" We start to look to other men to validate our attractiveness. And that's when the problem begins. Of course, there's always the novelty of seeing someone else and enjoying a new body! But at the end of the day, you have to remember your values and the commitment and respect that you have for your partner. You don't just want to fuck that up.

æ: That's very illuminating. Thank you so much for doing the interview.

The Official "Cages" Extended Trailer