Fridae

The New York Times called him "A one-man live theater show in Brooklyn -- a cross between "My So-Called Life" and "Queer as Folk". This charming 27-year-old gay Filipino-American runs a 24-hour multimedia show, broadcast now in streaming video from his one-bedroom apartment in New York City.

æ: Tell us a bit about yourself? Age, what you do for a living, country where you live, etc?

I'm 27, and a Webmaster for an Internet/new media company in New York City.

I have also built and created a personal website -- www.djparis.com -- which has garnered a lot of attention in its four-year existence.

Through it, I share my existence with the world -- through an online journal, photo album and three live webcams that follow me 24 hours a day. My goal is simply to try to present what my life -- as an out, active, single gay Asian-American New Yorker -- is all about.

About DJ

æ: When did you realise you were gay? What was the process like?

DJ: Looking back, I remember being attracted to guys at a very early age - I would say I was about six years old. One of my first memories is holding the 8-track tape of the Village People's "Live and Sleazy" and kissing the construction worker guy's picture on the cover over and over again. :-)

I didn't come to a full realization until my freshman year in college, when I was about 17. Although I had a few major crushes on guys back in high school, I wasn't comfortable reaching out to other gay people or exploring gay youth resources until then.

As far as my parents are concerned, we'd never had any sort of heart-to-heart conversation about my being gay. They came into my college bedroom, and saw all of the (tasteful) black-and-white posters I had of male models posing, embracing, kissing. I think that that cemented any questions they might have had. My father's always suspected anyway, and although he and I are very close, he doesn't like to talk about it much.

My mother just doesn't understand that there are other orientations aside from heterosexuality. But they love me very much and have been very supportive throughout my life, and have always treated my boyfriends like part of the family. I just hope they'll be able to see me walk down that aisle (at my commitment ceremony) some time in the near future!

æ: Are you out to family and friends? If yes, could you tell us something about it? Is it an important factor in your life?

DJ: Yes, I'm out to everybody important in my life. Being gay doesn't constitute my whole identity, of course, but it is a huge part of who I am. I think it's only fair that people I consider close to me should know everything important there is to know about me, because that is what I would expect from them: 100% honesty. And trust.

æ: Do you believe in monogamous or open relationships? Are you in one?

DJ: Although I am not currently in a serious relationship, I have been (over two years long) and it was monogamous. I do believe in monogamy, but that's what works for me. I don't judge the dynamics of other people's relationships - those where having it "open" is what's best for them.

æ: What kind of pet do you have? Why?

DJ: I simply love animals, and right now I have two cats (whom I adore) that I saved from the street. Sabrina's almost two, and Sam's just nine months. I got Sabrina because after finding her abandoned on the street, it turned out her original owner couldn't keep her. And since I was so busy and never home, I rescued another kitten (Sam) to keep her company. Now they're best friends - constantly playing, grooming each other and sleeping on top of each other. They're the cutest!

---

æ: Do you work with/support any gay or lesbian community groups? How?

DJ: I support New York's Lesbian and Gay Community Center, through volunteer work, donations, and participating in its programs. Since Washington D.C. (where I came out) doesn't have a community center, I found it crucial to support this local resource - something many gays and lesbians don't have - especially since it provides so many wonderful services to so many.

æ: Have you ever participated in any pro-gay or lesbian events/parties/workshops? If so, which?

DJ: One of the highlights of my life was participating in the Boston to New York AIDS Ride (in 1996 and 1997). It is a 3-day, 270-mile journey on a bicycle, for which I raised almost $2,000, which went to AIDS organizations in New York City.

æ: In the context of being an Asian gay or lesbian, do you have any personal role models/inspirations?

DJ: Although she's not a lesbian, Margaret Cho (the comedienne) is someone I highly regard. Being Asian-American (and very aware of her huge gay fanbase), she writes and performs material that not only makes me laugh out loud, but also really touches me. Also, her battles with body image and being Asian-American in an industry that is mostly white are topics that I very much relate to.

I admire her intelligence, her strength and most importantly, her resilience - this ability to bounce back from the setbacks in her life, turn them around, and use them to create comedy.

Apr�s Interview

æ: Tell us something about your first sexual experience?

DJ: It was just awful! I went on a date with this guy whom I really didn't find attractive in the least bit, but I wanted to have sex so badly. It seemed like I'd been waiting forever! I was 17, and since I was living in the dorms with a roommate, I couldn't invite him up to my room. He lived about 45 minutes away, and I didn't feel comfortable being dependent on him to get me back home. So we did it in a parking lot on campus, in his car. He was done in about all of three minutes, while I couldn't stop shaking - I guess out of anxiety.

æ: What is your favourite fantasy?

DJ: Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Chris O'Donnell and me in a group shower. The tiles are dark, the room's dimly lit, and it's quite hot and steamy. You can fill in the rest.

æ: What's the stupidest pick-up line you've ever heard?

DJ: "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Dean Cain?" (Actor, who played Superman on Lois and Clark and was recently in The Broken Hearts Club.)