"All the world's a stage
And all the men and women merely players."
- Shakespeare, As You Like It (Act II, Scene VII)
It's the start of a brand new year. And as with all new years, one can expect the usual bumper crop of resolutions to center around self-betterment mantras from "turning over a new leaf" to "transforming into a better person" to "becoming the always in-shape and forever well-organized super-person one dreams of becoming" and so on.
Some gay men hardly change their personas since the day they step out of the closet. They are either born flawless or have reached the zenith of self-acceptance (or self-delusion), and to them, I offer my heartiest congratulations. Others, like chameleons-on-acid, change their personas with every party, boyfriend or club outing. Heck, if a bleached blonde with helium-induced vocals from Detroit can reinvent herself over and over and over again, what's to stop us gay men from doing the same?
When it comes to changing one's persona, numerous reasons have been offered. The most cited reason is often the simplest: to get your man. Gay men have long discovered that the secret of happiness is to become the object of your own desire. While there are bound to be exceptions, it's no exaggeration to assert that gym bunnies will generally go for gym bunnies, sporty types for equally sporty types and straight-acting ones for even more straight-acting ones.
Let's not kid ourselves - when was the last time you saw a gorgeous guy with a bubble butt going out with a withered old queen (unless the former happens to be a gold digger and the latter Elton John but I digress)? As cruel and politically incorrect as it may seem, this is real life, not a Dame Cartland novel.
The other typical reason why gay men discard their personas like soiled paper undies and assume fabulous new ones is, of course, to gain attention. Gay men have long been accused and found guilty of employing attention grabbing tactics to gain their elusive five minutes of fame. And re-inventing one's persona (successfully of course) is a sure way of repeatedly earning your place in the spotlight by keeping your image fresh and interesting while other less resourceful fags fade into oblivion.
Other reasons proffered for persona re-structuring and re-engineering have ranged from self-improvement, starting anew after a failed relationship, attempting to blend in with a heterosexual society or simply just for fun!
Whatever the reason(s) may be, successfully cultivating and assuming your new persona or personas could open up a whole new world of adventure and misadventure for those who are game enough to try.
And since one is either blessed or cursed with one's looks (unless one happens to date a prominent plastic surgeon), let's begin with the more malleable part of our anatomy: the body.
Similarly, if the man of your dreams happens to be rugged and athletic, you may also wish to contemplate giving up your sedentary existence and seriously consider picking up a sport (and I don't mean basket weaving).
To add that final touch to your new sporty persona, you may wish to sign up with a tanning parlour or soak up enough UV radiation at the local pool to achieve that requisite sun-kissed external usually associated with an active lifestyle if you happen to resemble a plucked chicken suffering from hypothermia.
While the possibilities of tweaking one's physical appearance are endless, there are, however, some instances where assuming a new persona involves more than just cosmetic changes or adopting a new lifestyle. Hands up those of you who find yourselves unceremoniously dumped by your partner simply because you're just "not man enough?"
In fact, one of the top-ten turn offs for gay men is unsurprisingly - and I'll get lynched for this - effeminate gay men. Or as my dear friend Allan as succinctly puts it: "If I wanted a woman, I'd rather be straight."
Now we are caught in the interesting conundrum where effeminate gay men are looking for masculine gay men and masculine gay men are also looking for equally masculine gay men. And I do know, through personal experience, that for every truly masculine gay man, there are at least ten effeminate gay men out there. So what's a hapless girl gotta do? Well, for starters, you might want to butch yourself up a little (and I don't merely mean bulking up like some macho marys I know).
Once you've accomplished that, you may attempt to perfect the arguably most sought-after persona in the whole of gaydom: the straight-acting fag. Invisible to all but the most heightened of gay perceptions, this elusive persona is more difficult than cultivate than a hectare of tulips in a tropical climate.
For some gay men, straight-acting gay men - an oxymoron if you ask me - are even more attractive than good looks and a great bod put together. If still in doubt, just compare the number of hits for gay personal ads with the term "straight-acting" stamped in bold with those with the words "unabashedly camp" included under their character profiles.
To transform yourself into the gay man's Tarzan, you would need to take the painful first step of chucking out all the feminine accoutrements you have been amassing all your life. Make a mental note to stop acting like Andy Bell from Erasure and start copying Marlon Brandon's macho posturings in A Streetcar Named Desire.
Whether you wish to transform yourself into a muscle-bound Greek god or cultivate a straight-as-an-arrow veneer etc., doing an Eliza Doolittle is not as hard nor as daunting as it may initially appear to be. The trick is to be focused and be adventurous, to "(d)are to try; dare to change (so that) the dream can be reality. And reality can make you dream" (Serge Normant, Femme Fatale). The encouraging news is that many gay men do ultimately find a persona that works for them and perfect the persona until it becomes them and they, in turn, become timeless icons in the gay scene.
But before you sign up for extensive persona surgery, always remember that your persona should be something that brings out the best in you, and something that you're comfortable with. For if all the world's a stage and we are merely players, don't worry - you don't have to stick to a persona you don't like or are not comfortable with. And that's the best part of being gay in the first place - for you have the freedom to be whatever and whoever you choose to be, and not somebody else's idea of who you should be.
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