Fridae

"It is better to be beautiful than to be good; but it is better to be good than to be ugly."
- Oscar Wilde

Well, dear old Mr. Oscar Wilde, seems to have it down to a pat. And, so has the majority of society out there. Who among us, can safely claim to be innocent of not having pointed out a fellow 'sister's 'oh so like the moon crater face' or 'just the slightest inch more on his nose and its Pinocchio come visit'?

All those nights down at the club become not merely a chance to show off one's freshly scrubbed and masqued skin, but also a bitchy opportunity to lamblast those who obviously qualify to be termed 'ugly'!

What exactly is one's crime for being just plain unattractive? What is this silly prejudice that we have against ugly people?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
- Groucho Marx

Perhaps one reason could be that it takes a lot of effort to look good. After all, the easiest way to be beautiful is this - just be born that way.

Unfortunately, as we all know, the statistics for that is rather low. Ok, way, way low. But then again, let's face it, if everyone looked really good and drop dead gorgeous, what would it take then for someone to stand out among the crowd? Maybe then a cleft chin would seem like a beauty mark.

So there. We all try in our little ways to join our elite brothers, those few who effortlessly look like a million dollars all day and night long. So unless you're nature's chosen few, it is hard work being beautiful.

Those who, like me, weren't born that way, can attest to that. The monthly facials, the elaborate five or six step daily regime programmes we put ourselves through. The effort, time and money we invest on our faces combined could probably save a third world country from its dire straits.

Thus 'discriminating' against ugly people may seem only fair, if not only for the fact that those of us who look good probably earned it, or at least worked hard for it.

He had a winning smile, but everything else was a loser.
- George C. Scott

It was Farrah Fawcett who, probably from experience, declared "The reason why men prefer beauty over brains is that man can see better than he can think". It seems to be a fact many people can testify to. My best friend chided me recently for wanting to save money on my face and instead spend the money on CDs.

"Your face is the first thing people see. Any money spent on your face, regardless of the cost, is money well spent!"

While I may not agree with this entirely, it does hold some weight. How many guys have you met have had personality, seem decent enough, make you swoon over the phone with some lines from some Gershwin ballad, then turn out to look horrid when you finally meet?

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We are, sadly, prejudiced by our eyes. Yes, integrity, character, personality all play an important part, but hey, we favour and naturally gravitate towards people who look good. (This has actually been scientifically proven). So blame our eyes. It is nicer to look at nicer things. Grin.

Better an ugly face than an ugly mind.
- James Ellis

At a recent party, I was lamenting to my friends about how most of the intelligent guys I knew came without looks, and vice versa. Someone shot back point blank, "God's fair."

A matter of sour grapes? Or is it human pack nature at work here? The same classification you see in school - the hip, the not hip, the nerds, etc. Human beings are comfortable with such delineation. These categories exist subconsciously in everyone's minds.

Placing people 'where they belong' is comforting to many. The 'elite', after all, is purely a human creation. We just like being above someone, being different from someone. "Oh please NO! Don't lump me into the same category as HIM!"

To a toad, what is beauty? A female with two pop-eyes, a wide mouth, yellow belly and spotted back.
- Voltaire

The pretty boys versus the ugly. The former discriminates the latter. Why? This 'discrimination' smells awfully similar to all the other kinds available today.

Discrimination, at its basic level, is hating what we fear most. Homophobes discriminate against us primarily because they fear becoming like us. Racists folk discriminate against others because they fear becoming their race.

Similarly, we're biased against our fellow brothers (who just happen to be ugly) because we fear becoming ugly. We know life is tougher for those who don't look like a million bucks and fear that. We don't want to have to experience that, and don't like to accept that ugliness is a part of our world. We like to associate ourselves with beauty to assure ourselves that we are beautiful as well. We disassociate ourselves from ugliness like an escapist movie.

Beauty, has two edges, one of laughter,
one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
- Virginia Woolf

As a community, we need to rid our scene of this discrimination. Already we have it tough from the rest of society, do we need to deal with more attitude from our own kind? Let's get over this and move on to greater things and more important causes.

Let's recognise each other for what we really are. After all, superficial beauty is the first thing nature gives to the select few, but is also the first thing it takes away. It is the person who keeps the ability to see beauty who remains beautiful (Frank Kafka).

"You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful as you feel."
- Carole King in Beautiful