Fridae

If the recent study conducted by pharmaceutical company Bayer HealthCare is to be taken at face value, I should be reciting my Hail Marys! and thanking my lucky stars that I'm a homosexual Singaporean.

The reason is simple: The results from the aforementioned study would seem to imply that sex for our heterosexual counterparts (after they have hit the dreaded four-zero) would appear to be dryer than Mormon pornography.

According to the Bayer HealthCare study, the Singaporean male is not a "vitalsexual" - defined as "someone aged over 40 and for whom sex and his partner's sexual satisfaction are important."

Unlike the Taiwanese who topped the study, the Singaporean male scored miserably in the four key areas of: (a) thinking that sex is important; (b) wanting to satisfy his partner; (c) spontaneity; and (d) willingness to seek treatment for erectile dysfunction.

If you recall last year's global sex survey report by Durex where Singaporeans were revealed to be the second least sexually-active people in the world, you will understand why the Singaporean male's sexual prowess has taken yet another dip on the sex-o-meter. (Click to read related Fridae article.)

The main explanation for the gray temple Singaporean male's dismal sexual standings centers around how they are subjected to pressures which can put a damper on initiating or enjoying any form of sexual pleasure - try picturing Richard Simmons wearing nothing but an apron and a pair of mules for the same effect.

Apparently, these pressures which include the demands of building a career, paying off mortgages, providing for their families, rising children, failing to "rise to the occasion" in the marital bedroom etc. - have the ability to deflate even the most perky of Mr. Straight Stiffies.

Also, I should point out that their female partners might have seen better days. Having said that, I still find the results from the Bayer HealthCare study rather hard to swallow. This is especially so, when one tries to square them with one's experience with homosexual men who are in their 40s (or for that matter, heterosexual men with gay tendencies in their 40s but I digress).

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Speaking purely for myself, I would say that gay men over 40 are still sexually attractive and virile - they're just not sexually attractive and virile the way gay men under 40 are. The truth is, their abs may not be as defined and their butts as tight, but they're usually much better lovers.

It is my personal belief that sex with a homosexual in his 40s tends to be better than sex with a young homosexual who's wet behind the ears - although the former probably cannot maintain the pulse-quickening pace as someone in his twenties (then again, who wants a Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am anyway?).

This is because older homosexuals have already earned their sexual stripes and have far more sexperiences to draw upon. They are also more likely to know the location of every single G-spot on (and in) their partners' bodies and be willing to take the time to explore them thoroughly.

(Disclaimer: I'm not talking about sex with geriatric homosexuals. After all, according to the late George Burns: "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.")

Intercourse with older homosexuals also tends to be far more enjoyable because they tend to focus less on themselves and more on satisfying their partners. Older gay men in general adopt a "we" mentality while younger gay men tend to have a "me" mentality. (As a "do-me queen" myself, you'll completely get where I'm coming from.)

To borrow a quote from reformed toy-boy collector Jerry Hall: "Older men are better lovers � younger men make you listen to Coldplay - and there ain't no treatment for that." More importantly, older men pick up the dinner check. What's not to like?

So if there's one short-coming that gay men over 40 years of age are guilty of, it's definitely not for want of being a "vitalsexual" - rather it's the won't-they-ever-learn fashion crime best described as "No One Your Age Should Wear Shorts That Small To The Gym."