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3 Aug 2015

Gay Singapore man loses High Court divorce settlement

Singapore man, who is HIV positive, loses SGD 1.9million and unsupervised access to couple's triplets in judgement on Friday.

The couple, who have not been named to protect the children, had been married nineteen years. Together they ran a range of businesses including a piano shop and a spa. They had three triplets together through the use of IVF.

The fact that the man was gay came to light in early 2009, when the wife hired a private investigator to find out the reason for his late drunken nights. After admitting he was gay, the two partook in marriage counselling at which time the husband revealed he was HIV positive. The man's behaviour did not change and in 2010, the wife moved out and begun divorce proceedings soon after.

In the recent settlement, Justice Vinodh Coomaraswamy awarded the woman $1.9 million as her share of the matrimonial assets. It included assets worth some $770,000 under her name, 60 per cent of proceeds from the sale of their marital home in Sembawang and a property in Serangoon worth $1 million.

The woman was granted full custody of her children and her husband is allowed to see them for only two hours a week under supervision. Justice Coomaraswamy stated that the harsh terms were because the husband has, at least since 2008, demonstrated a very poor ability to make decisions even for his own welfare"

She cited the man's four-month jail term for possession of drugs, his promiscuous lifestyle, and the fact that he was HIV positive. Justice Coomaraswamy wrote that the man was also involved with a partner who leads a particularly "reckless and dissolute lifestyle," according to News Asia One.

The wife also claimed that she, and one of their children, was beaten by her husband.

The man is appealing the decision.

Reader's Comments

1. 2015-08-03 23:34  
This...is the reality of closeted life. You hurt your spouse, your children/ family and worst of all, you hurt yourself.

Never allow others to define who you are. It rarely ends well.
2. 2015-08-04 03:02  
Worst of all? Emochick you really are showing yourself to be selfish.

Children must always come first.

Being gay is no excuse no matter how in the closet you are.

It sounds very much like he deserves what he's got. He's still got a fair bit mind, and I guess that's the real story. Rich man turns out to be gay, blah, blah, blah.
3. 2015-08-05 08:18  
GTiLad you've misread Emochick's response. She is showing empathy for both the man and his family. You are only making a personal attack, something which may reveal your own lack of empathy.
4. 2015-08-06 10:20  
It is always risky to make judgements about a person based on media reports. They never tell the full story, and often get the facts wrong. That being said, if this man is as described he is hardly a poster child for gay men being deprived of their civil rights.

I also quite agree with Emochick, in that when a gay man marries, for whatever reason, he is not only setting himself up for a lifetime of misery, but he is also ( selfishly ) condemning his wife and children to the same unhappiness that he has brought upon himself.

We can only achieve equality when, as Harvey Milk and others repeatedly stated, great numbers of us come out to family, friends, and colleagues so that they realize that we are perfectly normal human beings. Their prejudices will collapse in the light of familiarity. It requires bravery to do that. But the people who do so should be regarded as heroes by the rest of us.

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