Test 2

Please select your preferred language.

請選擇你慣用的語言。

请选择你惯用的语言。

English
中文简体
台灣繁體
香港繁體

登入

記住我

初到 Fridae?

Fridae Mobile

Advertisement
Highlights

More About Us

新聞&特寫

« 較新的 | 較舊的 »
29 Dec 2013

Doing Things Differently | Interview with Dr Vincent Wijeysingha

With a guaranteed place in Singapore’s political history as the country’s first openly-gay election candidate, Dr Vincent Wijeysingha talks about his life before politics. Originally published in Element Magazine. 

Tell us about your earlier years before your political career?
I was born in 1970 and grew up in Seletar Hills, Singapore, where my family still lives. The Society of St Vincent de Paul welfare mission was set up in the kampung which had grown around the nearby airbase, and I was named after the patron saint by my Catholic parents. Despite living a comfortable middle-class life, growing up there gave me an intimation of the poverty and discrimination faced by low-income families.
I have 2 older sisters. Father was a teacher, who worked in the education ministry’s headquarters and later became a school principal. He was quite a stern parent, like his before him. At home he laid down the rules which you were expected to simply follow. He was never a man who needed to raise his voice or hand to us, as his words were sufficient to keep us all in line.  
Church was very much a part of our lives, and both my parents were actively involved. Significantly, that was where I can trace the origins of an awareness of my difference. A friend of mine and I had our first Holy Communion and became altar boys together. When he and the other boys played soccer, I would wander off and occupy myself with helping the sacristan on his care-taker duties around the church. The other boys had a shared camaraderie, yet I didn’t feel leave out. I had opted not to play soccer with them, and felt no shame about it. From then on I knew I was different. But I couldn’t yet quite put my finger on it.
You were accused by your political opponents of having a “gay agenda” during the elections. In 2013, on the eve of Pink Dot, you decided to publicly come out as a gay man. When and how did you first realise you were gay?
There was a gradual process of coming out to myself; no one else knew what was going on at the time. In secondary school, I had already learnt to be “straight-acting”. It meant walking in a particular way, and negotiating soccer. Acknowledging that I wasn’t very good at it, I still played the game and asked to put in defence position. I was also learning to negotiate homophobia – being called names – because I wanted to belong and be part of the “in group”. I didn’t have the awareness about being proud to be gay, as that only came much later. 
When I went to England to study social work, there were 4 classmates – 2 men and 2 women - who were also gay. They came out on the first day of the course when they introduced themselves. It was affirming for me to see confident, well-adjusted and openly-gay people who were comfortable with themselves. 
I came out to my parents in 1994. It was my first summer back in Singapore. One evening after dinner I sat them down on the verandah and told them.  My father didn’t say anything.  Looking back, I was hurt by that. I had built up this courage to tell them. Now in hindsight I realise that he was a man of his generation, social class and religion, and wouldn’t have responded otherwise. My mother was much better, and asked me lots of questions. When my sister came home that night, we sat and talked some more. We had quite a good conversation.
You had been living in England 16 years, before coming back to Singapore in 2009. How did you decide to return after being away for so many years? What has stayed constant and kept you going?
In May 2009, an elderly uncle in London died of illness. He had lived in England for 50 years, and like me was in his twenties when he first arrived. When he died, he had a nice job, house, family and a hobby refurbishing vintage Rovers.  The facts of his life were mundane, and it struck me that my life might soon become like his. By then I already had my own flat in London, a good job, and a comfortable middle-class existence. I was 39 years old, and it all came together for me - that sense of wanting to do something different with my life. 
One spring morning, while on my way to work I decided that I was going to leave England for good. After spending some time with my best friends there – who happened to be 3 ex-boyfriends and a former boss – I was back in Singapore by July. I had no idea what I was going to do.
I need meaning in my life, which is why I went into social work as a career in England. Back in Singapore, I took on the job with TWC2 and joined the SDP as a member. The things that keep me going are varied: the people, the contribution I feel I’m making, the learning, the challenges, and the potential to effect change within each context. When these disappear, I feel an urge to move on to find meaning elsewhere.

Tell us about your earlier years before your political career?

I was born in 1970 and grew up in Seletar Hills, Singapore, where my family still lives. The Society of St Vincent de Paul welfare mission was set up in the kampung which had grown around the nearby airbase, and I was named after the patron saint by my Catholic parents. Despite living a comfortable middle-class life, growing up there gave me an intimation of the poverty and discrimination faced by low-income families.
I have 2 older sisters. Father was a teacher, who worked in the education ministry’s headquarters and later became a school principal. He was quite a stern parent, like his before him. At home he laid down the rules which you were expected to simply follow. He was never a man who needed to raise his voice or hand to us, as his words were sufficient to keep us all in line.

Church was very much a part of our lives, and both my parents were actively involved. Significantly, that was where I can trace the origins of an awareness of my difference. A friend of mine and I had our first Holy Communion and became altar boys together. When he and the other boys played soccer, I would wander off and occupy myself with helping the sacristan on his care-taker duties around the church. The other boys had a shared camaraderie, yet I didn’t feel leave out. I had opted not to play soccer with them, and felt no shame about it. From then on I knew I was different. But I couldn’t yet quite put my finger on it.


You were accused by your political opponents of having a “gay agenda” during the elections. In 2013, on the eve of Pink Dot, you decided to publicly come out as a gay man. When and how did you first realise you were gay?

 
There was a gradual process of coming out to myself; no one else knew what was going on at the time. In secondary school, I had already learnt to be “straight-acting”. It meant walking in a particular way, and negotiating soccer. Acknowledging that I wasn’t very good at it, I still played the game and asked to put in defence position. I was also learning to negotiate homophobia – being called names – because I wanted to belong and be part of the “in group”. I didn’t have the awareness about being proud to be gay, as that only came much later. 


When I went to England to study social work, there were 4 classmates – 2 men and 2 women - who were also gay. They came out on the first day of the course when they introduced themselves. It was affirming for me to see confident, well-adjusted and openly-gay people who were comfortable with themselves. 


I came out to my parents in 1994. It was my first summer back in Singapore. One evening after dinner I sat them down on the verandah and told them.  My father didn’t say anything.  Looking back, I was hurt by that. I had built up this courage to tell them. Now in hindsight I realise that he was a man of his generation, social class and religion, and wouldn’t have responded otherwise. My mother was much better, and asked me lots of questions. When my sister came home that night, we sat and talked some more. We had quite a good conversation.


You had been living in England 16 years, before coming back to Singapore in 2009. How did you decide to return after being away for so many years? What has stayed constant and kept you going?

 In May 2009, an elderly uncle in London died of illness. He had lived in England for 50 years, and like me was in his twenties when he first arrived. When he died, he had a nice job, house, family and a hobby refurbishing vintage Rovers.  The facts of his life were mundane, and it struck me that my life might soon become like his. By then I already had my own flat in London, a good job, and a comfortable middle-class existence. I was 39 years old, and it all came together for me - that sense of wanting to do something different with my life. 

One spring morning, while on my way to work I decided that I was going to leave England for good. After spending some time with my best friends there – who happened to be 3 ex-boyfriends and a former boss – I was back in Singapore by July. I had no idea what I was going to do.

I need meaning in my life, which is why I went into social work as a career in England. Back in Singapore, I took on the job with TWC2 and joined the SDP as a member. The things that keep me going are varied: the people, the contribution I feel I’m making, the learning, the challenges, and the potential to effect change within each context. When these disappear, I feel an urge to move on to find meaning elsewhere.

This article was written by Leow Yangfa and originally published by Element Magazine.

讀者回應

1. 2013-12-30 09:15  
Dear oh dear, it looks like Fridae's really running out of creative ideas and quality editorial material - the fact that one is a gay ex-politician does not necessarily or automatically make one a suitable editorial subject unless one has truly achieved something news-worthy.
2. 2013-12-30 13:51  
Hahaha ... maybe we should all join a political party, "come out" of the broom closet, resign, and have the gay media proclaim that as a "feat" or an "achievement" that the LGBT community ought to be proud of, yes :-)? Truly great men don't need a marketing strategy.
3. 2014-01-02 15:36  
Coming out of the Closet means we are comfortable with ourselves of who we are,we need role models so it does not matter whether who U R. Good job done Dr Vincent Wijeysingha
4. 2014-01-03 09:16  
Really #3? A "good" job well done? So, what has Vincent Wijeysingha achieved to improve the lives of gay, lesbian or transgender Singaporeans or Singaporeans as a whole, pray tell #3??? Just name me ONE thing.
修改於2014-01-03 09:19:12
5. 2014-01-03 14:33  
why read the article if it was of no interest to u? why must a person had to have done something 'great' to be featured in anything? a simple, ordinary person is just as good as anyone as long as he/she is a good person. sure, we all have a right to comment what we like on anything that we read----bottomline was that dr. vincent was interviewed and so must had done something for him to be an interesting subject!!!.
6. 2014-01-03 14:34  
why read the article if it was of no interest to u? why must a person had to have done something 'great' to be featured in anything? a simple, ordinary person is just as good as anyone as long as he/she is a good person. sure, we all have a right to comment what we like on anything that we read----bottomline was that dr. vincent was interviewed and so must had done something for him to be an interesting subject!!!.
7. 2014-01-03 14:34  
why read the article if it was of no interest to u? why must a person had to have done something 'great' to be featured in anything? a simple, ordinary person is just as good as anyone as long as he/she is a good person. sure, we all have a right to comment what we like on anything that we read----bottomline was that dr. vincent was interviewed and so must had done something for him to be an interesting subject!!!.
8. 2014-01-03 15:51  
1. When we was born, there already Holly book around us that gave us knowledge but we did not know that Hollybook was true for us.
We just received it, like a baby that always receive/follow what parents said/did because we had no capability to evaluate something true or lie.

2. When I was a child, one old woman told me for not having Dog because Dog would pray to God for our dead therefore the dog could eat our bone, but Cat will pray to God to give us Heaven.
I just believed her and follow what She said.
Then I grow up, realize that what the old woman said just Myth.

3. So many Myth tought to us and we trust them because we have no capability to evaluate or to prove them.

4. We are not Adam and Eve decendant from Apple garden or palm fruit garden. I do not know what language of Adam and Eve.
That was Myth.

5. As many different animals and plants created at first, and so Humans. Then some human mixing with another Human as other creation.
Some animals/plants were origin, some were Hybrid.
And so were Human.

6. Yes, many of our family made betrayal because hungry of money, position and other things, and made us as Victim for their greedy or afraid to go to heaven alone. ( scary heaven indeed).

7. Imagine, How many people in our country in the next 100 years, 500 years, 1000 years?
People in the next 1000 years will not know about Us.
Even if we create Myth now. Like " you had been in Heaven and saw Hell too" or you ever devide big mountain by your stick. and we keep data according to Myth and throw away another data that not suitable. Or you went to a cave then tell people that you got messege from God or meet Angels. just use term "faith" to make other believe although they can not see.

8. After their mission will accomplish, they will kick us that We are not Adam and Eve Decendant and deserve to get punishment.

9. So, whatever betrayer said, we will not seperate each other.
We will not hate each other.
We will not fight each other.
We will live together.
We are not perfect and did mistake sometime that is human, but that will not be gun for us to fight, to hate each other

8. Yes, satan want to be called God that always dig our mistake or difference, to make us fighting or hate each other.

9. We have God that you can call any as your love. As many people call me in different name.

10. Do you think that Satan is stupid?
- Do you think that satan can not kneel?
- Do you think that satan can not pray?
- Do you think that satan can not do fasting?
- Do you think that satan can not call God?
- Do you think that satan can not do Ritual?

11. Whatever satan do and say.
We will not ever hate each other

12. How about people in High unconsciousness pleasure state?
President through election and do not always be president, it is caused by love that God always want people who make better life.

People in High unconsciousness pleasure state, look like having eternal state till die. Who create this eternal state? God or satan?
Only God should be eternal till the end.
Satan always want to be like God.
回應#9於於2014-01-04 02:31被作者刪除。
10. 2014-01-04 02:29  
Congratulations for trying to make a difference! Unlike #1 and #2 here, you "get it", and are doing something constructive.
Yes guys, truly great men do exist in our community and seemingly simple acts like this are so important for younger generations!
#1 and $2, your internalize homophobia is showing!
修改於2014-01-04 02:30:21
11. 2014-01-04 04:40  
I agree with commenter "riccawthra" #10. "EforEquality" and
"heemale" you really need to man up and tell Fridae.asia what have
either of you done for the gay community lately. Going to the
gym and reading a book really do not move the gay agenda
which is for the most part equality under the laws of your
country. If Dr.Wijeyshinga has done something illegal your
comments might apply but to my knowledge he is just a
political who outed himself to mainstream Singapore
saying, "yes, we are your sons, your daughters, your aunts and
your uncles and we deserve equal rights under our laws
including same sex unions/marriage without fear of being
persecuted under the law."
修改於2014-01-04 04:57:59
12. 2014-01-04 11:16  
The only reason he was interviewed is probably because the interviewer and he are pals. Cronyism is a big thing in Singapore - it even trickles down to the margins of society it seems :-)! If you need a good marketing strategy, a friend who's someone in the media is always helpful. And this whole article is nothing but self-interested marketing that is of NO benefit, in my humble opinion, to the LGBT community in Singapore.
回應#13於於2014-01-04 11:22被作者刪除。
14. 2014-01-06 02:28  
It really needs lots of courage to tell everyone in the country that you are a "gay", especially for the politician in Singapore.
15. 2014-01-06 02:29  
It really needs tonnes of courages to tell everyone in the country that you are a "gay", especially for the politician in Singapore.
16. 2014-01-06 19:37  
It is an inspiring story to read of his personal journey. It takes insight and courage to recognise a change is needed within oneself and the decision to uproot again at almost 40 must not be easy. What is commendable is the desire and will to make a difference. If everyone has his kind of fighting spirt this world will be very different. Good on ya.

On the other hand EforEquality should lay off and cut him some slack or do what your name preaches.
修改於2014-01-06 19:38:56
17. 2014-01-07 09:25  
#16, EforEquality does not have to preach. The message is all over the profile. As for courage, most of us come out without fanfare. Trying to make a mountain out of a molehill or trying to elevate something so ordinary to something supposedly "sublime" is precisely what this community does not need. It's such an irony that people with REAL disabilities will tell you that they only want to be treated as able-bodied people are treated. So, #16, get on with it and make a real difference by doing something real instead of currying favour with someone who's just trying to make his penis look bigger than it actually is.

請先登入再使用此功能。

請選擇新聞及專欄版本

精選個人檔案

Now ALL members can view unlimited profiles!

Languages

View this page in a different language:

讚好

合作夥伴

 ILGA Asia - Fridae partner for LGBT rights in Asia IGLHRC - Fridae Partner for LGBT rights in Asia

Advertisement