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9 Sep 2009

Turkish father on trial for gay son's "honour killing"

A Turkish man, who is accused of fatally shooting his gay son in July last year, was tried in absentia in an Istanbul court. The case has been widely reported by Turkish and German media.

A father accused of murdering his gay son in what has been termed in the media as an "honour killing" was tried in absentia at the Üsküdar Courthouse in Istanbul yesterday.


Ahmet Yildiz (left) and his German-Turkish boyfriend Ibrahim Can.
According to Bianet, an independent Turkish news network, Yahya Yildiz, 49 - who is on the run and is being tried in absentia - is accused of shooting his 26-year-old son Ahmet in June 2008 after the latter told him about his relationship with a man from Cologne in Germany.

Ahmet Yıldız, a student at the Department of Physics at Marmara University, was shot dead in Üsküdar (a district of Istanbul on the Anatolian side) on 15 July 2008.

The victim’s father is also charged with buying unlicensed firearms with ammunition, carrying and possessing them, premeditatedly killing of people and injuring close relatives.

Bianet quoted the victim’s German-Turkish boyfriend, Ibrahim Can, as saying that prior to the incident, the victim had mentioned that members of his family might kill him because of his homosexuality. 

“One year before Yıldız had told his family that he was gay. He had been threatened by his father and other family members.”

The second hearing of the case is scheduled for 23 December.

Reader's Comments

1. 2009-09-09 21:36  
Pardon my language, but this asshole needs to be shot. What's so honorable about shooting your own son... AND THEN RUNNING AWAY?

Honor my ass.
2. 2009-09-10 01:06  
Incidents like this are a sobering reminder that we shouldn't take for granted the freedom we enjoy. While there is still plenty of room for improvement in Singapore, at least you won't get executed or murdered for declaring your preferences.
3. 2009-09-10 01:51  
Post 2 - Maybe not honour killings ( though who knows for sure ) but you get some violence and murder against gays in SG. Remember the guy that got chased through Lucky Plaza and kicked to death? Remember the Sauna owner who claimed he was assaulted by the police?
4. 2009-09-10 01:58  
Disturbing would be the more mild and least expletive way to describe what has transpired. While I'm grateful for my parent's accepting me for who I am, such an act is not something unheard of.

However, for a father to do such an act simply shows one thing. There are those who would put their culture (be warned, its not a religious issue) ahead of their own flesh and blood.

That, again, to put it mild and least expletive, is even more disturbing.
5. 2009-09-10 02:05  
This is totally ridiculous, seriously sick with his brain.
Comment #6 was deleted by its author on 2010-03-09 23:58
7. 2009-09-10 05:21  
It just makes you wonder what sort of education this people get about homosexuality. That's the thing with religion, it is completely made up by human beings hence this is the result... Unecessary violence, mercy killing my arse. What happened to unconditional love for his own flesh and blood.
8. 2009-09-10 07:26  
It is just wrong...
9. 2009-09-10 08:32  
Ah ...Islam is SUCH a beautiful religion
10. 2009-09-10 09:15  
read this on news.ifeng.com earlier, most comments are "if i were his father i'd shot him too". horrible world.

i guess it could be a lesson for the gays. think carefully before you come out to family. sometimes it's war, and they have to be taken seriously as enemy. in that case being in the dark is an advantage. sometimes it's wiser to just smother them with a pillow at night.
11. 2009-09-10 09:31  
in gay scenario, when one senses that family don't like, please consider move out, otherwise one is putting himself in hurt/ death risk.
sure enough, one must at least got the earning ability, if still depend on family, pls don't run reverse acrimoniously against family members.

in this case, if the son insist pursue his love, pls disown himself from home because after one year still, his father cannot accept this truth.
respect our right as well as others.
12. 2009-09-10 09:44  
Found this article:
How to Tell Your Parents You’re Gay
http://www.advocate.com/article.aspx?id=98315

I guess I should take it seriously when my own dad told me he'll disown me if he finds out that I am gay. Not sure if he'll end my life like that cowardly Turkish father if I told him on me being gay but it was already a drama since he asked me to get out of the family for choosing a religion different from his own (he gave in to reconciliation after more than 6 months). I dare not say that that threat of expulsion or any other threats will not materialise.

An excerpt from the Venerable Ajahn Brahmavamso, Abbot and Spiritual Director of Bodhinyana Monastery and a few more related ones in Western Australia spoke during the Global Buddhist Conference 2000 in Singapore: http://heartlandsg.org/2006/12/30/homosexuality-and-other-forms-of-queerness-excerpt-from-ajahn-brahm/

"And if anyone has a son or daughter or friend who is a homosexual, and as far as the precepts are concern, there is nothing wrong. As far as karma is concern, it depends on how you are homosexual, not that they are homosexuals and please do not be afraid of them. Please look at them with Buddhist compassion and understanding, and please know how hard it is to be a homosexual in today’s world, in some places, where they are not understood, where they are looked upon with fear. And Buddhist compassion must be able to accept them for who they are and encourage them, if they are going to be a homosexual, be a compassionate, be a kind and be a moral homosexual."

Q. "How do we help those people with homophobia to overcome their fears, especially parents of gay sons or daughters?"

A. "From my own experience, I learned to overcome those fears by meeting with gay people and to get to know them and be friends with them. And please, you don’t have to be gay to be friend to a gay person! And as such you can learn from their experiences.

And as to how we can help parents to understand gays, I remember some time ago, one parent was very upset that their son was gay and came to me for advice. And I told them: “When you chant loving kindness (in the Theravada tradition), you would say, “May all beings be happy and well. May all beings be free from suffering.” Isn’t your son one of those beings? Why do you distinguish people who are gay, and you hate your son, but would give love to animals and cows and be a vegetarian? Surely, you can extend your loving kindness to all beings, including your son?"
13. 2009-09-10 10:51  
the hate in religions against gays is so high
all gays should be Atheiets
beeing gay is the opposite of treligions hate
it is gay love . we are naturally gay
religions are hammered into the gead of kids
religions are lies and hate
stop all religions NOW
14. 2009-09-10 11:03  
To say this is not a religious matter is missing the point. Most cultural ethics and morals are based on the prevailing religion of the land. In either case, it ASTOUNDS me and MYSTIFIES me that this can be called an honor killing. Killing your own flesh and blood then running away from the responsibility of it? Honor? Really? Huh...

The honorable thing for the father would be kill himself after committing such a heinous act.
15. 2009-09-10 11:27  
the human mind is just sick. however, we must understand a particular group motivation and behavior from their standpoint. there are so many factors that shape an individual belief system. this kind of parents should be made accountable for their stupid act harshly at the same time the State needs to have the political will to go through the process of eradicating this social horror.
16. 2009-09-10 13:14  
What has happened to Human Rights?
If the society can protect animals from abused, then what about men who has genuine love for men?
Why can't the society accept what is natural?
If i were to have sex with a woman, that would be unnatural. What's more, i bring sorrows and hurt her.
So, what is the rightful thing to do?
17. 2009-09-10 14:24  
#10 - then it completely defeats the purpose of what a family is suppose to be.
18. 2009-09-10 14:47  
This man is evil and should not even be referred to as a father; parents should love their children unconditionally and accept that this type of behaviour is totally out of touch and belongs in the dark ages.
19. 2009-09-10 14:53  
This is just a very stupid thing on earth a father could do to his own son..
Life is an honor not death.This man is sick and needs to get some psychological treatment to get a recovery and then sentenced to death when he has realized his own sin before die
20. 2009-09-10 15:00  
well..
when he gets his ass in to jail,
he would sure be honoured ..
xx
21. 2009-09-10 15:57  
i come from Turkey that people really don't like gay
i heard this story last year very hard become gay
in a moslim country even Turkey look like modern
people is same i think many story like AHMET YILDIZ
but noone know i'm lucky i live in Australia
Comment #22 was deleted by its author on 2009-09-10 16:13
23. 2009-09-10 16:12  
Presently, the 2 forces of fundamentalism and liberalisation are opposing each other. What we could do to help our gay brothers is to ride on the most powerful revolution since the Agricultural Revolution--the Internet--to spread the words around.

Gays, and especially those who live in places under higher influence of fundamentalism, should always get informed about the developments in gay-bashing behavior in their societies and countries via the Internet. They should be economically and mentally prepared to become independent as early in life as possible. They should be decisive to walk out of their home and even migrate to a more liberal country to seek better economic opportunities once they sense hostility from their family.

We need a worldwide Gay Empowerment Movement to drive this development, and the leading gay media, Fridae included, could play a pivotal role. A few key skills are critical. First, command of the English language. Second, an internationally recognised qualification in a profession that is highly demanded. Third, practice safer sex so that one remains HIV-negative. Fourth, some savings, a few thousands US$ would do, in hard currency.

If things turn bad, simply walk out of one's home, and find a reason to get out of the country if necessary. This victim could have fled his home and Turkey for a EU member-nation such as the U.K. once he sensed the hostility from his family. If he had prepared well in advance, he could have also gotten a job somewhere in the EU.

I have known a few friends whose home country is under dictatorship. These intelligent individuals had prepared to flee their country during their early 20s. First, they worked hard on their English and got connected to the world by visiting the few approved cybercafe in their town. Next, they worked in an MNC (eg. hotel) where they could earn their salary in a hard currency (eg. US$). They also obtained an internationally recognised qualification such as LCCI in Accounting. Once they had enough savings, they flew to Singapore to find a job.

I think we could introduce this model to more gays who are still suffering under a dictator or in an anti-gay society so that they may plan their way out of their misery. Life is short. I sympathise with the victim. If he had been more decisive and well-prepared, he could well be enjoying a better life with his BF in Europe today.
24. 2009-09-10 17:07  
Isn't Is Sad to See there are Still IGNORANT people living in this world. Anyone who kill should be killed. Simple. !!
25. 2009-09-10 17:07  
Isn't Is Sad to See there are Still IGNORANT people living in this world. Anyone who kill should be killed. Simple. !!
26. 2009-09-10 19:04  
thats so psycho..
enough from me..too spechless to comment more :(
27. 2009-09-10 19:08  
This is so sick ! What a psycho !!
28. 2009-09-10 19:45  
if u r gay move out of these places. Why stay? rights? no good if ur ddead....
29. 2009-09-10 19:56  
Till today I still don't understand why some people view their warped version of 'morality' as higher than human relationships. Yet these people can often look u straight in the eye & tell u they r doing the right thing 'defending family values' using murder, rape, harrassment. torture...Scum.
Comment #30 was deleted by its author on 2009-09-10 22:49
31. 2009-09-10 22:51  
There is a Chinese saying which connotes that those who kill their own children are worse than beasts: 虎毒不食子 (pronounced 'hoo doo boo shih chih', meaning that even a 'venomous' beast like tiger does not eat its own cubs).

The victim's father's value system weighs 'face' more highly than biological relation, law and the right an another human being to survive. His face, to to this worse-than-beasts murderer, is more important than these. If a person is gay, he does not have the right to exist on the surface of Earth. If a person is gay, he does not deserve his own parents' love. If a person is gay, he does not deserve to enjoy legal protection from the state. This is the murderer's value system.
32. 2009-09-11 02:50  
Behavior spawned by the Judeo-Christian-Islamic perversion
33. 2009-09-11 12:03  
I think we'd all like to believe that a parent's love is unconditional. The friends I asked said "for a mother", maybe. "For a father", definitely not.
34. 2009-09-12 23:14  
If we put ourselves in our parents’ shoes, I’m sure they feel anger, confusion, guilt and a sense of feeling dirty when they hear that their child is gay. We all went through that phase when we were struggling with our sexual identity. Perhaps we shouldn’t rush coming out to parents.. Instead we should slowly break the news to them.. it is only fair that we try to cushion the ‘heartache’ they might feel.. ( i have yet to come out to my parents)

Its indeed shocking that the poor chap's own father could have the heart to kill his own son..:(
35. 2009-09-14 05:00  
It's just sad... it's like being openly gay or being hated and despised by our own parents. It's like they care more about what others would say than to care what we have been going through...
36. 2009-10-17 10:51  
It is so sad and unbelievable~It must be relative to their religion.

I dont understand why the belief which is unassessable and unprovable can surpass the relationship which should have been very close?

The original purpose of any religion aimed to make people believe all the merits of the humam and the world, right?

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