2 days ago was my bf’s 8th death anniversary. I still can’t let go of him. His shadow is still there. It’s so bad to go through all these alone. It hurts so much.
I still remember he told me he loves me and breathed his last breath. I still remembered that afternoon when he confessed to me under a big tree beside my classroom. I still remember how he pecked me from behind in the library when no one was around. I still remember how you taught me Mathematics and Science in the library. I still remember when we go to clinic by bus when I was very sick. You paid all the medical fees. I remembered how you like to feed me in the canteen early in the morning, during our breakfast in school.
He died of Spinocerebellar Ataxia, a brain degeneration disease, which hardly has any cure. It’s a slow death. He slowly cannot walk, eat, hold things, speak and write! He was confined to wheelchair within 3 months! It is so heart aching to see an almost perfect person like him, to go so soon.
It is even worse that I don’t even know where is his cremated body now! I only know that he was cremated and then I was not told of what happened after that. They don’t even want to tell me! We never took any pictures and whenever I think of you I can only do it mentally.
Dear Sean, I hope you are well up there. I missed you and I love you, always and will forever be.