I love you, always and forever will be

2 days ago was my bf’s 8th death anniversary. I still can’t let go of him. His shadow is still there. It’s so bad to go through all these alone. It hurts so much. 

I still remember he told me he loves me and breathed his last breath. I still remembered that afternoon when he confessed to me under a big tree beside my classroom. I still remember how he pecked me from behind in the library when no one was around. I still remember how you taught me Mathematics and Science in the library. I still remember when we go to clinic by bus when I was very sick. You paid all the medical fees. I remembered how you like to feed me in the canteen early in the morning, during our breakfast in school.

He died of Spinocerebellar Ataxia, a brain degeneration disease, which hardly has any cure. It’s a slow death. He slowly cannot walk, eat, hold things, speak and write! He was confined to wheelchair within 3 months! It is so heart aching to see an almost perfect person like him, to go so soon. 

It is even worse that I don’t even know where is his cremated body now! I only know that he was cremated and then I was not told of what happened after that. They don’t even want to tell me! We never took any pictures and whenever I think of you I can only do it mentally. 

Dear Sean, I hope you are well up there. I missed you and I love you, always and will forever be.

Original Post: I love you, always and forever will be
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Reader's Comments

10 years ago
IT really does not matter where his creamated ashes is,LOVE TRANSCEND ABOVE THE PHYSICAL THINGS WHIICH we human clinged on,so long as u TREASURED THE BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS WHEN U WERE together,that counts.HE would be very happy to see u moving on,rather stagnated for 8 yrs.god blest
10 years ago
be strong!
8 years ago
God had a reason for him to come into your life. He brought you love and care.
8 years ago
When my father died, I found comfort in a poem. After reading this post I searched for the poem but have not been able to find it. I found the following online that is similar.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
7 years ago

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