Fridae

Fire Sia is a 24-year-old newspaper columnist of the gay page of The Manila Times who also teaches self-defense for women. She is also a co-founder of the Dykes of Manila Society.

About Fire

æ: When did you realise you were lesbian? What was the process like?

fire: I realized I was "different" when I was in college. I got strongly attracted to a classmate of mine. During that time, I was very homophobic, I was unable to relate to the butch types of lesbians. Later on, when I acknowledged that I was getting emotionally involved with my lady classmate, I knew there was no turning back. At first I thought I was bisexual then later on, I realized that I was no longer interested in men and that women attracted me in more levels (emotional, spiritual, physical and mental) than men did who before attracted me simply on the physical and mental levels.

æ: Are you out to family and friends? If yes, could you tell us something about it? Is it an important factor in your life?

fire: I am out to my friends, some family, and basically to the rest of society. The truth is, we don't discuss it at home, I'm an only child and I know my parents are very disappointed with the fact that their only daughter is lesbian. It's like an unspoken fact at home, nobody talks about it but everybody knows. I just wish that someday my parents would accept me wholeheartedly, no ifs, no buts.

Coming out and being accepted is very important to me because how can people like ourselves move about freely in a society that looks down, discriminates and fears us? Acceptance is the key and not tolerance -- which is what I think majority of my society feels towards us.

æ: Do you believe in monogamous or open relationships? Are you in one?

fire: I believe in both. Open relationships work while we're still deciding, young, adventurous and exploring. Eventually though, I must say that most would like to settle down into a more permanent relationship with just one person. Right now, I am seeing someone and it's a serious thing for us. I want to settle down with her in the future and build the rest of my life around her. Sounds mushy but it's the truth!

æ: What kind of underwear person are you?

fire: Outside home, I'm really a bikini-style panty wearer. At home I settle for boxer shorts or any cotton shorts.

æ: What kind of pet do you have? Why?

fire: I have 4 dogs. They're easy to train, they don't complain or answer back when I get mad and they eat anything I give them.

æ: Have you ever encountered prejudice because of your gender/sexuality? How did you deal with it?

fire: The only real in-your-face experience I had was when a writer-friend of my partner saw us together in a mall. I wasn't introduced to her, but as she and my partner spoke to each other, she was giving me dagger looks. I didn't do anything about it during those moments. I didn't feel any personal prejudice towards her but I guess I felt uneasy. Later I vented it out by writing a short essay on the experience. I felt much better after that.

æ: Do you work with/support any gay or lesbian community groups? How?

fire: I am currently one of the incorporators of DYMLAS, that stands for Dykes of Manila Society. I am also their former Public Relations Officer as well. The community started out on the web, helping people with problems by giving advice through emails and message boards. Since we have brought the organization outside of the web, I help in whatever capacity I can. I still manage to help coordinate with other lesbian groups whenever we plan activities together. My focus assignment now is to coordinate and sometimes write articles for our Purple Road Column on the Gay Page of The Manila Times, which comes our every Saturday.

æ: Have you ever participated in any pro-gay or lesbian events/parties/workshops? If so, which?

fire: Yes I have. Aside from my organization being involved in this years' Manila Pride March Celebration, we have been able to join last years' National Lesbian Day Celebration. At the start of 2001, I was invited as a speaker for a forum on sexuality that DYMLAS organized entitled "Your Kind of Womyn". DYMLAS expects to organize other forums and workshops in the future.

Apr�s Interview

æ: What's the stupidest pick-up line you've ever heard?

fire: "Are you a model?" -- considering that I'm only five feet and two inches tall!

æ: Which is sexier, mind or meat?

fire: Mind.

æ: Towel or tissue?

fire: Towel.