Fridae

"Let go of my ears - I know what I'm doing!"
- Logo on naughty T-shirt

When it comes to oral sex, few other terms have attained the almost reverential status accorded to "deep-throating". Regarded as the pinnacle of oral sex, deep-throating refers to the act of thrusting the penis way past your mouth and into your throat without you doing the technicolour hurl in the process.

Some oral sex practitioners would point out that the "shallower" approach (pardon the pun) works better since it is not the throat but rather the lips and tongue that are responsible for knees-weakening sucks and spine-tingling licks. Other common objections also include the dreaded gag reflex that strikes even the most experienced of deep-throaters and the problem of breathing when you have a throbbing rod shoved all the way down your windpipe.

However, avid proponents of deep-throating would argue otherwise. "It's the indescribable thrill of being able to take in all of a guy all the way down my throat," says Daryl, a self-proclaimed oral sex fan. For others such as Jerome, deep-throating has evolved into a competitive sport by itself: "There's a sense of competition amongst my group of friends when it comes to cock-sucking. Any one who is able to take the whole dick deep down his throat is often regarded as having accomplished an act worth emulating. Until someone else tops it by 'plunging into deeper depths'".

Like almost everything else in life, being able to take a meat sausage all the way down to the tonsils is a matter of both nature and nurture. Allow me to elaborate. Guys who are born with mouths wider than Joan Rivers' would undoubtedly have it easier compared to those born with tiny slits for mouths. Similarly, different gay men come with different degrees of tolerance and varying gag reflexes. Get the point?

Thankfully, regardless of your physical attributes, there are ways to improve your technique and ensure at least a modicum of success when swallowing a schlong. As with all skills, sexual or otherwise, practice makes perfect. If you are a novice deep-throater, start by practicing with a dildo (or whatever you can grab that bears a passing resemblance to a penis). Take in the dildo as far as possible without choking, then close your eyes and concentrate, taking each quarter inch slowly, all the while telling yourself that you won't choke, and then swallow. Repeat the process as many times as is necessary.

When in the field, do likewise but exercise moderation. If you still have a tendency to gag while chugging down your dildo despite remedial lessons, you might want to find someone with a smaller tool and then work your way up from the comfortably petite to the jaw-dropping humongous.

Breathing slowly and in an even manner have also been found to be useful in forestalling gag reflexes when deep-throating. In fact, the most seasoned of deep-throaters have often advised that a relaxed approach works best. With practice (and a glass of warm honey), it's even possible to keep those throat muscles relaxed enough to welcome oral visitors of Jeff Strykerian proportions.

Having said that, body placement during deep-throating is perhaps the most important factor. Things go smoothest when the curvature of your throat accommodates and is aligned to the curve of the penis (but if the penis in question happens to be dented or crooked, you may just wish to give up deep-throating altogether).

The most popular position involves the recipient sitting or lying on the bed with the partner kneeling in front of him or bending from above him respectively. This position gives the person who is performing the act complete access to the scrotum and the anus for added stimulation.

The more acrobatic members of the gay community could choose to lie down on their backs with their heads hanging over the side of the bed, thereby perfectly aligning their throats with their boys' toys. (Note: This position is not for gay men who suffer from bouts of giddiness or pass out whenever there is a sudden blood rush towards their brains). And then, there is, of course, the ever popular "69" position which can be accomplished with either one partner above on all fours, or just by laying on each other's sides.

Giving great deep-throat is hence not difficult once you know where and how to begin. Yet as with all sexual intercourse, there are drawbacks. Some researchers believe that deep-throating raises the risk of HIV infection, even without ejaculation. In most people, the lining of the mouth probably has to tear for HIV infection to occur.

According to London University researcher Thomas Lehner, deep-throating carry extra risks firstly because it is comparatively "rougher" than fellatio (hence the possibility of exposing vulnerable tissues are higher), and secondly because the throat may be more susceptible to infection than the mouth. Ejaculating semen directly into the tonsils (or the stomach if he has a hose for a penis) is said to further contribute to the risk of infection.

Other researchers have however argued that the possibility of HIV infection through deep-throating is minimal. In fact, the risk of catching HIV or any STD from deep-throating is said to be much less then for anal sex. The current conflicting views regarding the correlation (if any) between deep-throating and HIV infection add to the sense of confusion or as AIDS activist Spencer Cox so dramatically puts it: "One day you hear it's not a risk and the next day you hear, "Don't even think about putting your tongue on a cock!""

One way of reducing the risk would be to work out some means by which the "suckee" is able to provide some kind of signal before the impending orgasm and withdraw his cock just in time for him to shoot his load outside your oral orifices a la most requisite money-shots in porn flicks.

The other alternative would be for the receiver to wear a condom. However, this solution remains, to this day, highly unpopular. For the receptive partner in anal intercourse, a condom doesn't make much of a difference - what's important is the friction (and accordingly to most, the motion). When giving a blowjob however, friction doesn't usually feature. Rather, it's the smell and taste that matters and wearing a sheaf of latex simply masks the musk that many gay men find such a turn-on. Perhaps the safest way would be to avoid sex with strangers whose sexual histories you know zilch about although again, this runs against the very foundations of one-night stands and cruising-for-sex (but that's another story altogether).

Unfortunately, there are, to date, no conclusive reports or research available on the health risks posed by deep-throating. Suckmeisters should however use their common sense and adopt precautions when engaging in their favourite leisure activity. In the meanwhile, it remains undeniable that having your partner go down on you or vice versa remains a central sexual act for gay men, especially so as an expression of sexual intimacy and a means to ground-shaking orgasms.