Fridae

People can take everything away from you,
but they can never take away your truth.
But the question is, can you handle mine?
- Britney's simulated panting at the beginning of "My Prerogative."

Ms Scary still hasn't forgiven Ms Britney Spears for wasting two hours of Ms Scary's precious life with her trash-bin worthy motion picture debut Crossroads.

That aside, Ms Scary simply adores the former Mouseketeer - after all, how could any Diva detest someone whose idea of subtle accessorising is to drape herself with an albino boa constrictor?

Fresh from her honeymoon in Fiji with hanger-on husband Kevin Federline, Ms Spears has released her best-of album entitled Britney Spears Greatest Hits: My Prerogative which Ms Scary predicts will soon make itself heard in every kickboxing class.

Dubbed by MTV as "one of the last teenage pop superstars of the 20th century," Ms Spears, unfortunately, appears on the cover looking as if she had overslept on a Tropical Rayz tanning bed and wearing what appears to be one of Rupaul's wigs.

(Juicy gossip: According to British magazine new!, Ms Spears was apparently unhappy with the two-year old photograph used and was reported to have said: "I look like a porn star. And why the blonde hair? I am so over being blonde.")

My Prerogative features an impressive total of 19 tracks which showcase the sexy strumpet's signature kinetic beats and come-hither vocals, and a bonus disc which offers glorious remixes of "Everytime" (Hi-Bias Radio Remix) and "Outrageous" (Junkie XL's Dancehall Mix).

Containing songs spanning Ms Spears' pop career from her start as unconvincing virgin ("Crazy" and "... Baby One More Time") to belly-baring babe ("Boys" and "Overprotected") to her current incarnation as a hardcore sex strumpet ("Toxic" and "Outrageous"), My Prerogative also contains her whispery ballads the likes of "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman."

The only downside is the inclusion of three previously unreleased tracks which in Ms Scary's opinion should have remained unreleased: the new single and totally unnecessary remake of Mr. Whitney Houston aka Bobby Brown's My Prerogative, the Gwen Stefani-like "I've Just Begun (Having My Fun)" and the plain awful "Do Somethin'."

Fortunately, the rest of My Prerogative is a rambunctious collection of dancefloor friendly tunes including Ms Scary's favourites such as the funk-drenched "Boys," the infectious "Lucky" and of course, the song that every femme worth her Dior lipstick should make her butch memorise: "Born To Make You Happy."

So to quote Ms Spears herself in "I'm A Slave 4 U": "Get it get it, get it get it (ooohhhh) (this feels good)..."