Fridae

Seeing two ageing, overweight men clowning around and attempting to appear witty at 7am wasn't my idea of a good morning. But mother dearest, being addicted to the early morning news, insisted on having the TV on for breakfast.

My irritation mounted when, as part of the news reports regarding the World Meeting of Families the Catholics were having here, they introduced the question regarding gay and lesbian marriages, and asked people to call in their views. Bear with me; I know it's been reported in the Fridae news section.

Predictably, most of the calls were from various religious sheep offering their views on why gay marriage is immoral, quoting Bible rhetoric redundantly as their reason. Please.

I WAS pleased when a gay man called in to speak his piece, but was again irked when my mother gave a snort of derision.

I steeled myself. This was shaping up to be a really crappy day.

"I take it you don't agree," I told her. She was worse than a Catholic, she was a fundamentalist. And she started repeating the same claptrap I'd just heard on the TV. With her own biases, of course.

It's odd. People here can be so blas� about seeing or meeting gays and lesbians. But the moment they go into Bible thumping mode, all sign of rational thought flies out the window. It's ok to chat with your gay hairdresser about your problems, it's perfectly fine to joke around with a lesbian classmate. But the moment the question of something as basic as gay partnership comes up, so do the walls. They may agree that you have the same basic rights when it comes to citizen benefits and etc, but when it comes to emotional matters, partnership, child adoption and what not, no way, Maria. Someone I know had to pay bribes just so he could adopt a darling little girl. Let the Catholics hear about it, and they'll probably picket his house.

I mean puh-leeze. The Catholic Church should know better than to fuel the hatred - half their clergymen are either gay, pederasts, or fornicators. Or even worse, politicians-in-sheep's-clothing. Recent news has been filled with reports of priests being defrocked for having children, polygamy, and molest. They shouldn't be any one to judge.

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And, obviously, the gay and lesbians who are coincidentally also Catholic don't count for them. Why bother trying to save their souls or teaching them to live virtuously, they're already marked for Hell anyway. One of my friends who was deeply Catholic was quite upset. I mean, here was a guy who attended Mass with calendared regularity, tried to live up to the ideals of his faith, performed every single one of the endless Catholic rituals come Holy Week (the week of Good Friday is a big religious thing here, most gay men go to the beach), gave to charity, and was kind to animals. Yet he was basically told, by the very precepts he willingly lived by for over three decades, "You're not one of us, we don't want your kind."

A few years ago, Manila's pre-eminent Cardinal made a comment that forever turned me off Catholics. He said, "You can't take two lesbians and a cat and call it a family." Talk about love thy neighbour.

Why can't people just mind their own fucking business? It's not like people here would be forced to attend gay weddings, or watch the honeymoon on video. How can two gay men or women living together in wedded bliss possibly harm the concept of family? It's not like we go shopping for potential partners among the breeders. Why does it offend so deeply? We don't force our moral views on others, why should we be subjected to theirs?

We could probably start going into Kant and other philosophers views on higher morals, but the plain, simple reality is, people just can't mind their own business.

I said as much to my mother (though not so bluntly). "So, since gays and lesbians are abominations in the sight of God, they don't have human rights? No right to seek love or happiness, no freedom to determine the course of their lives, no option to live in dignity, without shame?"

"Of course, they do," she replied. "But within the correct, normal framework of things." No matter how patiently I tried, she just couldn't unwrap her mind from the religious brainwashing and conditioning. I love her dearly, but she has a mind like a vault. Impregnable. And I was running really late for work. So, I gave up.

But I did leave her with a parting shot. I looked her squarely in the eyes, and told her.

"I hope you never find out that someone you love is gay."

And went to take a shower.