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5 Dec 2008

Fag = Anal Sex = AIDS = Death

Shinen Wong reflects on a past sero-discordant relationship in commemoration of World AIDS Day.

The year was 1997. I was about 13 years old when I first accessed the Internet. One of the first things I did was look up "gay" on the Lycos search engine, to see if there were others like me. I was a lonely child in an all-boys Methodist school in Singapore. We were taught regularly that homosexuality was an abomination punishable by an eternity in hell. Rebelling against this idea, I sought solace online, only to stumble upon godhatesfags.com, a website hosting a particularly virulent strain of militant homophobia espoused by the infamous Fred Phelps, who heads the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas, USA.

A member of Fred Phelps's Westboro Baptist Church with its signature 'God hates fags' and 'Fag = Anal sex = Death' placads.
The website links Phelps' tragically hateful brand of Christian fundamentalist doctrine with homophobia, anti-Semitism, anti-Catholicism, and Islamophobia (hatred of Islam). The most famous messages from Phelps' congregation that have burned their words forever into my memory are "Fag = Anal sex = Death" and "AIDS = Death." In Phelps' view, AIDS is God's punishment for gay sex, and we are put to death by it.

Although Fred Phelps is peculiarly hateful, his opinion is not particularly unique. There are many who believe that AIDS is a disease that only gays get, and that we deserve to have it for the irresponsible sex we are having. As a 13-year-old, I had already been taught in school that AIDS was a gay disease, and many of the school bullies would intersperse their gay-bashing comments with references to my getting AIDS.

Though not commendable opinions, they are certainly understandable, given the history of the disease. The first outbreaks of AIDS-related symptoms were in the form of Kaposi's Sarcoma (an extremely rare skin cancer), on the bodies of otherwise healthy homosexual men. So linked together was this mysterious outbreak of these infections with homosexual men in the 1980s that HIV (the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, or the virus that can lead to AIDS) was at first called GRID, or the Gay-Related Immunodeficiency Disease. Before the development of antiretroviral treatments, many died alone, abandoned by their families and by the medical establishment, who cast suspicious eyes at the individuals who had contracted this virus. With misinformation about how this virus was transmitted, those who had it were increasingly socially isolated in a misguided effort to contain the spread.

But that was then Perhaps.

In 2002, when I was 18, I started seeing Sh, an HIV+ man whom I met on fridae.com. It began as a harmless gratuitous heart-exchange flirtation that blossomed into a full-fledged romance. At the time, I did not know he was HIV+. At the time, I thought that I was open-minded, and knowledgeable about the disease. However, the second night we spent together, when he came out to me about his status, I was completely flabbergasted. I could not contain my tears and my rage. I started accusing him of wanting to kill me, accusing him of premeditating his declaration with the intent of hurting me. He was a bad person. Sick. Pervert. All of my insecurities and internalised homophobia exploded out to destroy the man whom I had just a few moments prior called "my love."

I can only imagine the depth of pain I must have caused him from my own ignorance. Our relationship, fortunately, lasted much longer than my tumult of hyperbolic spew. After I calmed down, I realised how terribly I had behaved, how mean-spirited I had been. After all, we had always been safe.

In an effort to develop my own understanding, I began volunteering for the Action For AIDS Singapore, a volunteer-based organisation in Singapore that provides HIV-education and anonymous HIV-testing. There, I was exposed to a gay community beyond the hedonism of the club scene, and beyond the shy safety of being behind a computer screen. I learned not only the importance of HIV-prevention, but also of reducing the stigma against people who were already living with HIV/AIDS.

As it is, at the moment, there is no cure. And at the moment, it seems that part of the reason HIV is taboo is because of its association with forbidden and taboo subjects, such as homosexuality, sex work, women's sexuality, drug use, poverty and black Africa, as well as its associations with being concentrated in very specific human fluids (blood, semen, precum, vaginal fluids, and breast milk). Not a topic to raise in polite company.

Perhaps the most poignant reason that HIV/AIDS has been such a difficult topic has been its association with death. That night that my partner came out to me about his status, I was swamped with so many fears of death. I thought that if he had infected me, I was going to die. I thought that he was going to die, and that was why he was telling me. I figured that no matter what, our relationship would forever be tainted by the smell of frangipani, as death loomed large over our heads. We were two gay men in a gay relationship, and one of us was HIV+. What would everyone think?

After all, in our society, the burden of hetero sex is associated with the creation of life (through unwanted or unplanned pregnancy), whereas the burden of gay sex is associated with the destruction of life (in the transmission of HIV, the virus that leads to AIDS, and the inevitable breakdown of the human immune system from the syndrome, leading to eventual death). In a way, Fred Phelps did not need to tell me Fag = Anal sex = Death. I already knew that.

Over the next few months of our relationship, Sh and I spoke openly about our fears. He spoke about his fear of hurting me, infecting me. I spoke about my fear of what this might mean for us in the long term. We confronted the reality of death, and simultaneously, we spoke openly about what did and did not feel safe for us to do together sexually. We pursued the path of open communication. I fought against the idea that AIDS = Death. Instead, I adopted the slogan "Silence = Death," developed by the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP), a group that started in New York City which has historically used radical methods of civil disobedience to bring attention to the impact of AIDS on disenfranchised communities. In order to address HIV/AIDS, we have to talk about sex. We must not be silent.

Many gay men have seen their close friends die of this disease, but this, in a way, is hardly a unique experience of the world. Tragic as it may sound, the mobilisation of our communities around the issue of HIV/AIDS could perhaps even be seen as a blessing for us; it is a way that our community has had to confront the philosophical problem of death, something that heterosexuals categorically do not ordinarily consider. If HIV led to AIDS, and AIDS was synonymous with death, then confronting HIV meant confronting the reality of the inevitability of death and the implications of this consideration on our sexual identities. The appalling disinterest of governments worldwide in tackling this issue from the outset, and the stigmatisation of people living with HIV was and is, to me, partially symptomatic of a universal human anxiety regarding the issue of death. After all, death does not only happen to those who have AIDS; it is life's only inevitability for all of us, gay or straight, Asian, African or European, rich or poor, male or female, drug user or sober Puritan, religious or atheist. Far from being morbid, it is realising and confronting our own mortality, the inevitability of our death, that becomes the root of developing wisdom. In order to address HIV/AIDS, we have to talk about death.

It has been a few days since World AIDS Day, which was on December 1. It might be helpful to reflect on where we are at in the world with regard to the epidemic. The face of people living with HIV/AIDS on the planet is rapidly changing. Within Western countries, rates of HIV transmission from anal sex between men have been relatively stable, although many young men in my generation are becoming increasingly complacent about practicing safer sex, thinking ourselves immune, and rates of new infections among men who have sex with men are climbing again. Incidences of HIV-transmission are now increasing most rapidly from the sharing of contaminated needles (of drugs, hormone injections, etc.), from mothers who are HIV+ during childbirth, and both heterosexually and homosexually transmitted all across the Sub-Saharan African and Southeast Asian continents from a lack of awareness and access to education. AIDS-related mortality rates are especially high in populations who do not have access either to preventative education or to antiretroviral medication, and AIDS-related deaths has arguably been the single most significant deterrent to the economic progress of Sub-Saharan Africa in the past few decades, claiming the lives of millions of men, women, and children, and debilitating millions more who live with the disease. At the same time, in more privileged countries, we may begin to see the first few generations of HIV+ adults who were born with HIV, and who may have lived with the virus their entire lives on medication. They will certainly become interesting spokespeople living with HIV in the years to come.

I broke up with Sh when he came to visit me in college in 2004. We had been together for two years. Thankfully, I was still HIV-. As all heartaches can be, ours was no less complicated. But it was impossible to end our relationship with any animosity between us, from all that we had shared together. Our parting had nothing to do with his HIV, but it would be a lie to suggest that it had not affected our relationship all along. HIV had made us speak more openly about sex and desire, love and longing, fear and insecurity, life and living, death and dying. In a way, HIV had helped to bring us closer. We parted crying our bittersweet tears on my small town college campus, renewed in our commitment to living our lives to the fullest apart. We had both been transformed.

As we kissed goodbye, I could taste that sickly sweet smell of frangipani that had hovered in the air of our relationship. It was turning into lavender.

Malaysia-born and Singapore-bred Shinen Wong is currently getting settled in Sydney, Australia after moving from the United States, having attended college in Hanover, New Hampshire, and working in San Francisco for a year after. In this new fortnightly "Been Queer. Done That" column, Wong will explore gender, sexuality, and queer cultures based on personal anecdotes, sweeping generalisations and his incomprehensible libido.

Reader's Comments

1. 2008-12-05 23:47  
yet again, it is well written, informative and emotional..just the right dose of balance...kudos to you,Shinen!
2. 2008-12-06 00:12  
Shien...you are an inspiration

wd luv 2 hear from u

gavin_ireland at hotmail.com
3. 2008-12-06 00:38  
There are many things to take in this article, but one I totally disagree with is:

"In order to address HIV/AIDS, we have to talk about death."

In order to address HIV/AIDS, we have to talk about life!

In our developed societies, antiretroviral treatments are easily accessible. It is so in France and I hope it it the same in Singapore, although I am not sure of the cost.But these treatments can prolong your life indefinitely if you start taking them in time.

Even without mentioning the treatments. If you have the right spirit, being HIV+ makes you grow. It deepens your understanding of life, it makes your relationships with others more meaningful. It makes you take true care of yourself in all respects, physical and spiritual.

They say: proud to be gay? I say: proud to be HIV+!

Even if some people will be shocked and will not understand the right meaning. I am proud.
4. 2008-12-06 06:18  
The best writer on fridae.com. I really appreciate your stories and writing. Thank you.
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7. 2008-12-06 06:54  
"In order to address HIV/AIDS, we have to talk about death."

In order to address HIV/AIDS, we have to talk about life! "

It is with such preparedness that we are sane enough to face issues such as HIV. It is talking about HIV in relationship with life and death that we are able to prevent ourselve from thinking with our heads between our legs.

"Proud to be HIV+" can lead many irresponsible consequences. The attitude will cause further unwanted backlashes from other societies and more miseries to HIV sufferers.To come to term with being HIV+ and carry on with life in a meaningful way is most important for sufferers.

Singapore Government does not subsidise HIV medications. The cost of HAART averages S$700 - S$1,000 a month. Generic cost S$180 to S$400. The averge income for most is about S$1,200. As all can see, being HIV+ in Singapore is dreadful.

Get ourself tested and be safe. Don't die of ignorance.
8. 2008-12-06 11:23  
touching story .
i am HIV+ since 1987 in my profile fridae i state i am HIV+.
rejections i do meet a few ignorance is hard dieing
but i am stronger living and my duty as HIV+ man to warn other not to repeat the mistake i make
( it could not happen to me )
now 7 years with my thai BF still great love and he is HIV negative . proof safe sex works .
i am gay and HIV+ open in all my social relations .
be safe sex yes with water based gel and condoms.
as for the "godhatesfags" they should be punished by the law for spreading hate speech , all religious activities and property should be taxed .
for me religions are lies there is no gods .
religions is hardly a sound base to teach others what is good or bad .
we are naturally born gay without being taught .so natural
religions is indoctrinated dogma.thus not natural
9. 2008-12-06 11:38  
Don't call ourselves "fag"... I don't know where it comes from since English is not my native language and I have to look up in the dictionary to knwo that it means "gay"...
10. 2008-12-06 13:02  
gymhotbod, you are right. If someone is HIV-, please do your best to stay so. Always have safe sex whatever your status is.

But if you are HIV+, look at things from a positive angle, not leaning towards death. I hope the Singapore government will cover ARV treatments, as is done in the West and even in India. It has the means to.
11. 2008-12-06 14:57  
Shinen I do a little bit of volunteer HIV testing work for PT Foundation in KL. It was very meaningful for me to read your story. We work as a team but I will keep volunteering.
12. 2008-12-06 16:14  
I am more looking at the picture and trying to think, what is so wrong about what was written..

1. Who say God hates fag? to begin with, the word 'fag' might not be there when the bible was written. of course, i thought God loves sinners? we all believe the bible is God's word. yup, but dont forget it is hard-copied by a human being = sinner. translated by human being = sinner. so while the intention is Godly, the interpretation is ...

2. Fag = anal sex = death? Hmmm... not all fag = anal sex. and not only fag does anal sex. so the first equation is wrong. anal sex = death? once again, not all anal sex = death, and not all death is a result of anal sex. if there is no life, there is no death. so quantitatively, there can only be more death if there is more life.

3. World peace? Go zen then.
13. 2008-12-06 16:45  
Regarding the necessity of talking about death in order to fully address HIV/AIDS -- I think this sentence from the article is really key: "confronting HIV meant confronting the reality of the inevitability of death and the implications of this consideration on our sexual identities."

Sex and death are two utterly universal aspects of life, and the way we handle them can cause us a lot of suffering. Shinen mentioned that some of the taboo of HIV/AIDS lies in the subject matter involved with the conditions of its existence (e.g. bodily fluids --> unclean/shameful; poverty --> suffering/shame/guilt). This also extends to the even more penetrating issues of sex and death, which the phenomenon of HIV/AIDS links together with homosexuality in a form that will cause most people instinctive fear: a condition that can cause a health crisis; a disease that threatens life and the "self." For queer people, this fear can become convoluted with how we feel about our sexuality. So, to heal our sexual identities from the damage caused by hate, we need to face our fear of death.

Conversely, for those religious dogmatists, the idea of death by AIDS is easy to link to their much-elaborated concepts of hell and punishment. But they themselves have not confronted the reality of death either!

It was wonderful to read this account of how, by opening ourselves to look deeply at death, we can transform our fear of the phenomenon of HIV/AIDS, deepen our connection to our sexuality, and enrich our living relationships. Talking about death IS talking about life!
14. 2008-12-06 17:03  
I shall term this as funny ...but the problem is that how would average God fearing hetero Joe and Jane be even able to ask if God really would ever use the word HATE (when he said love your enemy , when he said , if he slap you on the right cheek offer the left cheek ..when he said if he takes your coat, let him take your cloak as well ? " How would the ever could it be the man who is "playing behind" (talking abt being hetero...but someone declared that anul sex is fine for hetero) the slogan...

I think this is the same not only for this Fred Phelp's religion ...or any other religion in the world who took away every human's birth right to think rationally and to deduce what is good and what is bad but to belief without question ...a wise teacher would ask his or her disciple : DO NOT belief in anything he/she hears , DO NOT belief in words or belief being passed down, DO NOT believe any holy book or scriptures , DO NOT believe in anything just because it is your culture or even it was thought by your holy teacher but ask yourself if this is rational ...is there such a teacher ..? check out Kalama Sutta ...




15. 2008-12-06 17:27  
Adam was a friend from my college days, tall, blond with the looks of a model. I didn't know he was gay at the time, just that everyone looked up when he walked into the room. "I just want to be loved," he said one night when a friend and I were visiting him in his apartment. Everyone loves you, everyone wants to be with you, I thought. I was too inexperienced to understand. And yet, I couldn't help remembering the haunted look in his face. Five years later, I found out from my friend that Adam had committed suicide. And that his suicide note revealed what no one had known: that he was HIV+.

"In order to address HIV/AIDS, we have to talk about love." The problem is that humanity has lost its grip on love, an emotion that gets lost in translation from culture to culture, and dare I say it, even in our own gay culture where the monogamous relationship now comes in 31 different flavors of non-judgmental openness.

Until there is a cure for HIV, do talk about sex and do talk about death. But do not forget to talk about love. That is, if you know how. If you know what it is. Because Phelps is nothing. We are everything.
16. 2008-12-06 17:31  
If AIDS is a punishment from God to gays, lesbians must be Angels.
17. 2008-12-06 18:38  
I am touched by this story, for the most part because HIV brought you two together instead of growing apart. I support the slogan "silence is death" 100 % and I would promote open communication. Thanks for sharing this experience!

Onno
18. 2008-12-06 22:29  
I'm christian and i'm ashamed that something like this has to happen and coming from my point of view i guess it's quite significant. I've never had any friends who are HIV+ neither have i encountered any before so i wouldn't know how to react if i do befriend one. Truthfully speaking, i think it will be hard for me to love someone who's HIV+ but then again, for me to not have experience it i shouldn't pre-determine that early eh.
Anyways, thanks for the sharing. Though as morbid as a subject to really talk about, through death it is when we're truly alive.

19. 2008-12-06 22:35  
Fred phelps looks like the biggest fag himself. Look at that turquoise tank top. If I didn't know better I would think he's parading for Mardi gras
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24. 2008-12-07 01:48  
I came across this article recently, which was apparently published onine in the medical journal, the Lancet. It is a theoretical model that shows that the AIDS virus can be eliminated within ten years (by detecting HIV early through regular check-ups, and treating the person even if he is not sick).
(http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/HealthSci/AIDS_can_be_eliminated_in_10_years/articleshow/3761613.cms)

.

'AIDS can be eliminated in 10 years'
27 Nov 2008, AP

LONDON: The virus that causes AIDS could theoretically be eliminated in a decade if all people living in countries with high infection rates are regularly tested and treated, according to a new mathematical model.

It is an intriguing solution to end the AIDS epidemic. But it is based on assumptions rather than data, and is riddled with logistical problems. The research was published online on Tuesday in the medical journal, the Lancet.

"It's quite a startling result," said Charlie Gilks, an AIDS treatment expert at the World Health Organization and one of the paper's authors. "In a relatively short amount of time, we could potentially knock the epidemic on its head."

Gilks and colleagues used data from South Africa and Malawi. In their model, people were voluntarily tested each year and immediately given drugs if they tested positive for HIV, regardless of whether they were sick. Within 10 years, HIV infections dropped by 95%. Other initiatives like safe sex education and male circumcision were also used.

The strategy would cut the estimated number of AIDS deaths between 2008 and 2050 by about half, from about 8.7 million to 3.9 million, leaving only sporadic HIV cases. Experts think the strategy's cost would peak at about $3.4 billion a year, though expenses would fall after an initial investment.

"This is certainly beyond the bounds of the current infrastructure for many countries, but that is not a reason not to think big," said Myron Cohen, of the University of North Carolina, who has done similar research.

Only 3 million people are currently on AIDS drugs. Nearly 7 million people are still awaiting treatment, and about 3 million more people were infected last year. Worldwide, WHO guesses that about 33 million people have HIV. Increasing access to testing and drugs would stretch already weak health systems in Africa, which has most of the world's HIV cases.

WHO emphasized that the study findings do not signal a policy change. "This is only a theoretical exercise," said Kevin De Cock, director of WHO's HIV/AIDS department. He said WHO would hold a meeting next year to study the idea more closely.
25. 2008-12-07 07:08  
这位英俊的白人四眼兄弟在胡说点什么?!!
26. 2008-12-07 07:16  
God hates criticizer!
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28. 2008-12-07 10:07  
Post #18 MyManFriday, the article you highlighted is very promising. The medical communities with regards to HIV around the world are debating on it, even in Singapore.

The logic is simple, get tested and treatment immediately. The Viral load in the body should be undetectable after a period, rendering the subject "uninfectious" and thus stop HIV. Most people who discovered that they are HIV+ only when they felt very ill, which by then they would have infected countless exponetially.

However, there are problems. The present delay in early treatment with medication is purely economics as the HAART is very costly and beyond the reach of many. By delaying ( about 6 to 10 years), the subject saves a hugh sum but risk cancer infections and damages to other vital organs.

One big problem is that studies shows many do not follow rigidly the timings of the medication intake, resulting in the virus mutating and immune to the medications. This is similar to antibiotics abuses. The are superbugs which do not respond to treatment. In no time, we will run out of drugs effective enough to keep HIV at bay.

Till date, billions have been poured into research and cure is still a long way ahead as it is a virus and the is no way to fight a viral attack except your own body in this case. The catch is that HIV+ reproduce using your own CD4 cells to reproduce, the very cells that keep infections at bay.

Don't die of ignorance. Get Tested !
29. 2008-12-07 20:50  
gymhotbod, I'm sure cost is one of the barriers at present. But perhaps there are other personal reasons too. Shame and stigma could be major factors in countries where homophobia and ignorance levels among the general public are high.

Think about the person's plight on getting a "+" result. He has been closeted all along, but will now have to reveal several "horrors" to his family and friends and to strangers all at once. He has to think about what to say to whom, in what order to say them, what words to use, and so on. Here's an example:

He: "I have something to tell you... I am HIV+"
They: What! You have AIDS? How did that happen?
He: Not AIDS! HIV+. I had anal sex/with another man.
They: What do you mean?
He: Well, he put his thing, you know, his sex organ, into my backside.
They: What? Who is he? Why did he do something like that? Why didn't you stop him?
He: Just some man. Well, actually I asked him to do it.
They: What do you mean you asked him to do it? What for?
He: Well, actually I like men. I am gay.
They: You are gay?! Are you crazy? You like to wear women's clothes?
... And so on.

And, after this painful and embarrassing discussion that gets repeated with several different people, he can imagine them discussing this issue with one another in their own terminology.
"He says he's one of those people who likes to have sex with other men, like we saw in that picture, you know, and he sucked someone's sex organs, can you imagine that, so now he has AIDS",
or
"He says he's one of those people who likes to have sex with other men, like we saw in that picture, you know, and some man put his sex organ into his backside, can you imagine, so now he has AIDS".

(For a lot of people out there, HIV is the same as AIDS. And they are NOT interested in knowing the difference. Who cares? Just stay away from me!)

Just thinking about these imminent discussions, about how people may react to the announcement of being HIV+, would make a lot of people cringe. There are those who seem to think that all this is just a breeze, a pleasant walk in the park, judging by how they actually claim to be "proud to be HIV+". But maybe the reality for others is a little different, to put it mildly. I can understand their prefering to live in denial for as long as possible.

The medical system should allow for easy and anonymous testing. Also, every person who goes for testing should have access to counselling both before and after the testing, and especially if he finds himself to be HIV+. Such counselling should also be made available (perhaps through trained volunteers) to his family and friends as well as anyone else who matters. Otherwise, he may prefer to just remain in denial. He will delay getting tested until he is so sick that he has no alternative but to get tested and treated.

We need to work on more communication to address these kinds of barriers, to educate people at all levels, and also create support groups to whom infected people can turn for emotional support.
30. 2008-12-07 21:45  
Wow...Hate Mongers. What else do they hate? Like I give a damn what they like or hate.
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33. 2008-12-07 22:25  
For moral reasons, all who are sexually active, like you and me, should be tested regularly. By testing, we have a peace of mind and also, if tested positive, act responsibily. In Asia, if you are going to go into a big debate on HIV or gay related issues, you will only get more backlashes in the end. Shame and stigma got nothing to do with homophobia in this case. If a gay person gets HIV through sex , it is through his own ignorance.

My point is, if you are negative, spread the word and keep yourself negative. And if you are positive, it is not the end of the world. I am very sure there are many out there like me, who goes deep into the topic of HIV because you have friends who are positive. Hate will get one nowhere under such circumstances. There is no need to get approval from anyone as those who distance themselves from you are simply are not worthy to be your friends. Also, there is no need to tell the whole wide world like a coming out story.I have friends who are HIV+, and they are like you and me, looking normal.

People I know have survived HIV for more than 10 years and they are among you. If you ask me if they are different, I would say no. Accidentally infecting me I would say nil as their viral load is zero.

I salute those who are living with HIV and managing it well, without hatred but love. To those who discriminate, your life is the most pathetic and you are the ones who should seek help.
34. 2008-12-08 00:17  
I guess some of us are lucky to be living in the right countries and to have the education and exposure to be able to take mature decisions. The same unfortunately may not apply in some other countries where people may have no idea if the medical centres doing their HIV test will even keep their results confidential.

I remember reading about this incident from India where a nurse at a large hospital refused to touch a HIV+ patient who had come in for some treatment, and then went around the whole hospital telling everyone about him and warning them to keep away. Under the circumstances people who even suspect they could be HIV+ may think many times before going in for a test.
35. 2008-12-08 10:10  
One observation of the attitude towards HIV+ people is that though it has been around for a very long time, many, even those who are highly educated, are ignorant of it. They have heard of it, but they do not fully understand it. We cannot fully blame them but the authorities as so far, the main campaign focused on ANTI-HIV or ANTI-AIDS, thus ending with a similar ANTI-HIV SUFFERERS as a result. The campaign focused on the theme vices like :

1. Visiting prostituites
2. Unprotected sex
3. One night stands etc.

Under such circumstances, people do not talk about HIV, as it is related to sleaze. The public will continue to have prejudice against HIV sufferers and infection rates will continue to rise. Try talking about HIV with your friends. You will find a deafening silence and the topic will not last 5 minutes.

We can only do this much.
36. 2008-12-08 18:54  
I know people who wont get tested in Singapore because the results are or were not kept confidential by the medical profession, due to a positive result being made reportable by the government.
One person I know died because of this reticence. If this is still the official policy, I don't see how it helps combat HIV at all.
37. 2008-12-09 00:38  
good article but the approach on death when talking about HIV is probably suitable in western countries because from what i see, the sudden increase on HIV infections in europe lately is because of too much complacency. but the case of HIV in asia is slightly different. this is purely my personal opinion. i totally agree with soulseeker, and if i can add, especially in Asia, the HIV in asia should approached more with love, not with an iron fist talking abt death, i think its common knowledge that death in evitable in life, AND with HIV, u can know more or less know when u gonna die. asians need more caring from their governments. if u see from communist china to despotic paternalism in singapore, every approach in life is about punishment, wrongdoings, cases of u cant do this and that...
38. 2008-12-09 14:47  
i'm so surprise that the author does not even mention the fact that how many str8 poeple infected HIV. AIDS is not EXCLUVIELY FOR GAY ok/.
39. 2008-12-09 19:25  
"AIDS = Death" is way out of date. In developed countries where HAART is available, the HIV death sentence has been commuted to a life of inconvenient pill-taking, occasional nausea and diarrhea and maybe clogged arteries in 10 or 20 years. It is, in effect, now a manageable chronic condition like diabetes. Rather than facing their mortality, gay people living with HIV now have to face up to old age (for some, an even worse fate in our youth-oriented culture). But HIV + Poverty + Ignorance = Death is and will remain a devastatingly tragic equation in those countries without the resources--and the will-- to invest in effective prevention and treatment. It is a soul-numbing shame that only half the 39.5 million people living with HIV in OUR world have access to the drugs that will save them from a grotesque death. And it is a mind-boggling shame that mindless bigotry and heartless "moral codes" get in the way of creating the political and cultural conditions needed to effectively deal with the epidemic in some parts of Africa, India and southeast Asia.

Since the worst effects of AIDS are experienced by the straight population in impoverished communities and countries, it's kinda self-centered and self-absorbed for us gays in developed countries to continue to focus on AIDS as a threat to us. Certainly HIV prevention is and should be a major concern but, considering that so few of us now die from AIDS, we can no longer justify the drama that some seem intent on maintaining. The drama, the pain, the misery is found elsewhere, guys. In Africa, India or anywhere where access to life-preserving medications is denied by poverty or ignorance. I can't shed a tear for Hugo Chang (the Taiwan HIV poster boy featured in a previous article here) but I will and do cry my eyes out for all those millions of hollow-eyed folks dying miserably from AIDS in Africa and India.

The dramatically reduced HIV death rate has lead to a sort of psychological liberation for many gays in Western Europe, North America and Australia. HIV has been such a part of the gay landscape for such a longtime that it is now just taken for granted. The HIV status of one's sexual partners or lovers is almost irrelevant. No one really cares since most of us have been well conditioned to slip on a condom whenever there is any anal sex. There is a also a very general but perhaps not totally provable belief that any kind of oral sex, even cum eating, has 0 risk. And, unfortunately, there is a small minority that actively indulges in reckless unsafe sex on the assumption that even if they do get infected, they will not die thanks to HAART. They rationalize their behaviour on the grounds that the fear of AIDS is a disease worse than HIV itself. Crazy, huh? And even crazier because they are in some ways right. An unreasonable fear of HIV is indeed a disease in itself.

And speaking of crazy, Fred Phelps and those Christian fundamentalist bigots. But it's not religion, guys... It's mental illness. Pure and simple. I'm not a fan of religion even though I can understand its attraction.Most people use religion for a simple comfort to explain the unexplainable. But there are some who use it to disguise their psychoses, neuroses, obsessive-compulsive disorders, schizophrenia, etc. Fortunately we can and should ignore Phelps and friends as just nasty nutsos.

40. 2008-12-09 22:31  
hi
not only gays are being affected, there are also straight people, kids, babies, trans and just anyone.
hope people here can support our local HIV forum : www.positiveliving.sg a singapore based HIV forum
41. 2008-12-10 16:33  
The signs in the picture are the work of a particularly nasty radical so-called christian group calling itself the Westbro Baptist Church. It has about 30 members, mostly from the one family, that being the family of its founder Fred Phelps (who seems to have lost of his intellect and is running on pure hate). The family itself is reported to be the most hated family in America. They picket various funerals saying how pleased they are that the dead person has died because god hates them and all of america. I think nut cases like this mob might actually be helping reasonable people to see how stupid it is to hate gay people just because they are gay.
42. 2008-12-11 18:57  
Hi there, the recent articles in ST recently mentioned that people in SG have to come to Thailand to buy their HIV meds because of the cheaper price and anonymity. I was wondering if there is anyone who might be interested in finding out more about cheaper HIV meds from Thailand. Let me know!
43. 2009-01-08 16:07  
That man holding the posters is obviously too thick to realize he's actually DAMAGING the reputation of the Baptist church- which every clearly shows the type of people evangelicals tend to attract :p

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