Fridae

This video delivers positive messages.

Thank you! Thank you ! thank you!

We would jump at another chance to do another video. Its about time we all took steps to makes things better.

inspiring!

hey otto n team n everyone in the video.

you guys did a fantastic job to let the GLBT (and those still confuse and struggling) know that it is OK to be who we are.

the problem is with those people who cannot accept us, let us NOT give them the permission to tell us how we should live our lives, who we can be and who we are.

i believe what is important in life is to focus what good we can do for our parents, family, friends and lover(s), society, mother earth etc...and NOT who we love or who sleep with.

i hope to see singapore being more Open towards GLBT someday.

Peace to all

to all of the participants of this video for starting this dialogue of encouragement and support, thank you.

Inspirational, but it could have been more practical. Every gay knows that it would certainly feel better IF he comes out and is accepted. But what if the outcome is less than ideal? It'd be destructive to important relationships with their family, friends and colleagues if naive youths screw up the coming out process. There are a few common pitfalls and important considerations.

1) If you are still financially dependent on your parents, can you accept the risk of falling out with your parents, being imposed a curfew or getting sent to receive 'reparative therapy'?

2) Are your family, religious group, friends, etc. able to tolerate your sexual orientation? Or would they try to "turn you straight"?

3) Are your other priorities in life like your studies, emotional well-being and personal space likely to be affected if you come out?

If your answer is "Yes" to most or all of the above, then my advice is that you should rethink about coming out. There might be other priorities in your life at this stage that are more URGENT than coming out. Do you need to rush coming out? Well, only you know the answer, but you should weigh the urgency.

And, these bring us to the next point, which is becoming financially independent asap. Generally speaking, if you have become financially independent, you should be able to manage much more shocks should the coming out process be rocky, especially during the initial period. Worst come, you can afford to move out and survive on your own income. Though you may still be affected emotionally, but without financial stress, you should be able to lessen the pain. Also, a period of physical separation with your family might help by giving both you and them more space in which to calm down. Without financial independence, you would not have this option, so the strain with your family might worsen.

Of course, that's again IF the situation is that bad. Not every parent, colleague or religious group is as intolerant. But such intolerant people do exist. So, before coming out, consider your options. Better still, work hard for your financial independence as early as you could. It gives you more options and less to fear about coming out.

Well said, sunthenmoon. I agreee with your points.
Actually do you really need to be 'out' even if you don't have any of the problems?
What's the neeed if there is no pressure from anywhere? Iam working so financially independent, no psychological conflict with myself and no pressure from family to get married and sex is ok, shd i come out?

@Rang - yes, all the more so, because you do it then not for yourself, but for others. It's about creating a culture of greater acceptance for *all* LGBT people.

Hi All,

Des and Onn here. Its Gets Better video is not about coming out, its not about being gay.... all those are secondary, the point of It Gets Better is to help the younger LGBT know that they are not alone and there are others just like them out there... Not everyone is as lucky as I am to know and come out and be comfortable with their sexuality at a young age and having a family whom is "Cool" with me being Gay or as lucky as Rang to have all he has.

Its for the "Just in case" they have issues lot that Its Gets Better aims to encourage. By letting them know that, No matter what.... Gay or Straight, If you put your mind to it, It WILL Get Better.

Lets pls not pick on or make this into a "Im Gay, Im Here, Gets used to it" or a " Be PROUD, Come Out" campaign because its not.

Just my 2 cents and sharing some of the reasons Why Onn and I did this PSA with Otto.

Cheers and Merry Christmas.

Dear All

As one of the participants in the project, my intention was to show our younger counterparts that they are not alone in their struggles. Growing up is difficult and awkward for everyone, but GLBTs are united by a common adversity.

It was in this spirit that my friends and I decided to take part in the shoot. The intent was simply to send a message of hope. Also, the video wrapped up with a segment by Pelangi Pride Centre, which emphasised that there are resources available out there to help confused or troubled GLBTs make the right choice, whether that choice is to come out or not.

Have a peaceful and blessed Christmas.

Congratulations...Such a positive and inspirational messege, keep up the great work...'-)

The "it gets better" campaign is started in the States after a string of lgbt suicides. The aim is to get adults to share their own struggles with sexuality related issues so that the lgbt youth know that it is possible to overcome fear and stay alive. The message is simple, as long as one keep oneself alive and not give up hope, they can be who they want to be, like the adults in the video.

Like Deyo said, it is not a "be proud and out" video, it is a "keep you alive and strong" video. In fact, as long as you come to terms with your own sexuality, even if you are the only person who know you are gay, that is fine.

Even for those who have come to terms with themselves, life is still not a bed of roses and we still have ups and downs. Many of the youth, and adults like us still need to sort out the concerns listed by Sunthenmoon, so it is always good to know what resources are available.

Most of us who are post-youth, like myself tend to forget how difficult life was and how we feel like we are alone. Sometimes, we might even think that a gay youth is just being 'drama' or we trivialize their fears as something that will go away. We forgot how we wished there was a message or someone who tell us that it is going to be ok.

I hoped this video can remind ourselves and the community that it is necessary to slow down once in a while and care for who are in the same situation which we went through.

Hope you will enjoy this video as much as those who are part of it. You can do your own "It gets better" video too.

cheers...
Bryan Choong

i found it too rehearsed. Can't picture many of them actually talking like that if they were telling us their life stories.

i think we all appreciate the strength behind it, and just would have liked more honesty or relatability and less acting/perfection.

But that being said, i think the participants are really all quite lovely and charming in their own way...

First Pink Dot, now this; Well Done, Singapore.

Check out NO.7- "sunthenmoon".

Sir- yes you have a great lists of points for consideration there.

Infact- I am a youth of 19, and I have it all considered before. I am SOO FINANCIALLY attached to my parents, n sisters. I am the youngest of the family, and currently studying in my first year undergraduate somewhere in KL.

Okay- for the record- I am so grateful, that there are people like you who are able to put up points, for the sake of the other youths to look after before they decided to make their own 'coming out videos.

A few lines from me- my family is as well so religiously based on Christianity... I did watched a documentary on 'Pengkid'/ Tomboy Life together with my mom n dad. I thought they are going to be just okay. But while the documentary was still running, they are already shooting out comments, criticism, and saying how sinful was the girls behaviour, and this and that. I was terribly shocked. But I don't blame them..... because...

I come from a rural area- deep in Sabah countryside... Here is the trick that no one knew.. Not for people from the cities.

You rarely see Openly gay peoples here... What I wanna say is that- it is very less topic about gay-ism here. You will only find it in humors-related topic. In short- THEY ARE SO IGNORAnT PEOPLE.

If you said the students in schools in cities are homophobic- you should think twice.



ok, my internet so slow,, to be continued.

To all my GLBT friends, sisters and brothers in Singapore. This is a great step ahead.
Wish you all Happy New gay Year from the Holly Land of Israel. A place where we all share equale rights for many years.
Shalom!

An inspiring video that showcases these courageous individuals. A beautiful video at that. I sincerely believe that almost every GLBT individual is facing this problem of coming out all due to one cruel word "ACCEPTANCE". Do we crave for people to notice us or just for others to accept us for who we are..?

I know people in the healthcare industry who are forced to remain "in the closet" as there are still taboos about "coming out" when working with sick individuals.

It is a torture to keep a secret for we also want to be treated with the same respect as others. During my NS days, I never declared because I felt that whatever other heterosexual guys could do, so could and I believe alot of us did it but it was not out of fear that I did not declare. I did it out of the fact that I saw us as equals. I did not want the "special" priviledges that were accorded and I survived.

I guess, the GLBT community needs to understand, it takes time. No matter how long it takes, we shall ALL stand together, and press on, head on..!!

An inspiring video that showcases these courageous individuals. A beautiful video at that. I sincerely believe that almost every GLBT individual is facing this problem of coming out all due to one cruel word "ACCEPTANCE". Do we crave for people to notice us or just for others to accept us for who we are..?

I know people in the healthcare industry who are forced to remain "in the closet" as there are still taboos about "coming out" when working with sick individuals.

It is a torture to keep a secret for we also want to be treated with the same respect as others. During my NS days, I never declared because I felt that whatever other heterosexual guys could do, so could and I believe alot of us did it but it was not out of fear that I did not declare. I did it out of the fact that I saw us as equals. I did not want the "special" priviledges that were accorded and I survived.

I guess, the GLBT community needs to understand, it takes time. No matter how long it takes, we shall ALL stand together, and press on, head on..!!

thanks for the messages and sharing your thoughts!

If the GLBT could have single language to communicate, it would be much better. Esperanto is recommended by UNESCO in 1954. The Esperanto gay group lsg-esperanto dot org. Free learning site is lernu dot net

agreed, coming out is not necessary to finding ones own self acceptance and self respect that choice 'coming out' should come after finding that inner surety, of course one must be in a safe environment befor coming out, it's a choice and should not be forced on any one by political dogma, 'Gay liberation activists' of old in the west where alot of this kind of political dogma is coming from were largely living in innercity or University areas whith large populations of all kinds of alternative and homosexual people that is not so for a young boy or girl living in a rural isolated and religiously conservative areas, but isolation doesn't mean that one necessarily has to be un-informed or self loathing, the internet is another wonderful medium and one that reaches globally, Popular artists like Maddonna and Lady Gaga are well know 'gay rights' supporters and of course their support does touch youth, Peter lambert would be good to rope in as he is homosexual and good looking, boys like that (;-)) the important thing is to educate and resource youth to be sexually savvy and street wise and to not be sexually available or easy for sexual exploitation, there needs to be a renaissance movement with in the 'gay world' that mentors our youth and helps create a better healtheir and more supportive 'gay life style' aside from the exploitive ugly underbelly of 'gay life' that encourages youth to be sexually available to every dead beat user that comes along, that self worth is not determined by who wants you but how you believe and feel about your self, intodays age of terrible sexually transmitted diseases abstinance should be promoted with in the 'gay world' as a healthy alternative to so called 'safe sex' which is NO 100% gaurantee

Thank you.

I don't believe in controlling and changing myself to someone I'm not. Many people don't realize that it isn't something we choose but rather, it is who we are. Which is why we should accept ourselves for who we are. If we don't, how do we expect others to?

It's a long road of self-discovery for people like us. We may have to be on our own when we need support because people aren't acceptive. But look at the help popping out here and there. We are growing, both our history and our presence is slowly being recognized. So yes, it might be tough.

But it will definitely get better.

Thank you to everyone involved in the video.

Thanks Otto and Team for doing this vid.
Here's to a Great 2011 and beyond.

thank God for Otto and this video based on the USA's lead and good work, the purpose of this is just to give people courage whatever the choice is and to provide some inspiration

singapore's gay community needs to know life gets better

thank God I have a gay older brother and supportive family who leads the way

too often the gay activists in singapore seem more concerned about their commerical interests instead of providing an inspirational and supportive message, actually i was wondering what took so long since this has been out in the USA for quite some time

the trevor project is essential and it involves gays and straights and great people and yes getting advice from religious leaders, politicians and community average people to help young people deal with bullys and finding their role in life

keep it up and be strong

i think otto is really cool and a great role model given that so many role models are lacking in singapore cause they too concerned about protecting the rights of gay saunas and porn

Great vids. THumbs up^^

Great work, Otto and guys and gals!

I'm gay, I'm proud and I'm totally out. Great job team Otto!