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1 Aug 2014

Fathers and mothers of gay children rally for support in China

Parents of gay children in China are seeking ways to unite and support each other in not only understanding the sexual orientation of their children but also in coping and combating social pressures and prejudices against their loved ones.

“If I cannot accept it and support him, he will never be truly happy. I don’t want my child to live in pain,” said Mei Jie, a Shandong native who is running free counseling sessions for Shanghai families with gay children.
Similarly, Wu Youjian who made headlines throughout China’s media for coming out very publicly as the mother of a gay son, founded  PFLAG (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays) China.
Last month, the group welcomed hundreds of parents and their gay children in downtown Shanghai for a conference where they shared and exchanged experiences and feelings.
“It is certainly no easy thing to turn around most Chinese parents’ deep-rooted prejudices and misunderstandings of homosexuality,” says globaltimes.cn.
Although same-sex relations was in the early 2000s removed from China’s list of mental illnesses, the deeply held Chinese belief that children are required to marry and bear offspring to continue the family line makes it still heavily stigmatized.
Nonetheless, some parents who have been at the forefront of change say that their present goal is to attain marriage equality for gay men and women in China.
“I’ve been working on drafting proposals advocating legislation to the country’s policymakers for gay marriage,” said Xiao Tao’s father. Xiao Tao’s family has already recognized the de facto marriage of their son and his partner.
Since 2001 when the Netherlands became the first country to recognize gay marriage Li Yinhe, a research fellow with the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, first put forward a proposal on gay marriage to the annual meetings of the country’s policymakers in 2003.
But the issue only gained attraction five years later when Li restated her proposal.
Last year, an open letter signed by more than 100 parents of gay children called on the country’s policymakers to consider the rights of gay people.
“I never expected this would happen to my son. But I love him. I have to support him,” said the mother of Feng Lin, a Zhejiang native.
The Guangzhou-based gay children’s parents’ group, according to Feng Lin’s mother, offered her vital assistance in coming to that realization.
Later, she told the rest of the family: “If you love my boy, you need to accept him whether he loves a woman or a man. If you cannot accept this and find it embarrassing, we can end our relationship.”
There are no official statistics on the number of gay people in China but  Li Yinhe suggests gay people can account for 3 to 4 percent of the population, which means that the number of gay people in China could range from 39 million to 52 million.
“If I cannot accept it and support him, he will never be truly happy. I don’t want my child to live in pain,” said Mei Jie, a Shandong native who is running free counseling sessions for Shanghai families with gay children.

Similarly, Wu Youjian who made headlines throughout China’s media for coming out very publicly as the mother of a gay son, founded  PFLAG (Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays) China.

Last month, the group welcomed hundreds of parents and their gay children in downtown Shanghai for a conference where they shared and exchanged experiences and feelings.

“It is certainly no easy thing to turn around most Chinese parents’ deep-rooted prejudices and misunderstandings of homosexuality,” says globaltimes.cn.

Although same-sex relations was in the early 2000s removed from China’s list of mental illnesses, the deeply held Chinese belief that children are required to marry and bear offspring to continue the family line makes it still heavily stigmatized.

Nonetheless, some parents who have been at the forefront of change say that their present goal is to attain marriage equality for gay men and women in China.

“I’ve been working on drafting proposals advocating legislation to the country’s policymakers for gay marriage,” said Xiao Tao’s father. Xiao Tao’s family has already recognized the de facto marriage of their son and his partner.

Since 2001 when the Netherlands became the first country to recognize gay marriage Li Yinhe, a research fellow with the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, first put forward a proposal on gay marriage to the annual meetings of the country’s policymakers in 2003.

But the issue only gained attraction five years later when Li restated her proposal.

Last year, an open letter signed by more than 100 parents of gay children called on the country’s policymakers to consider the rights of gay people.

“I never expected this would happen to my son. But I love him. I have to support him,” said the mother of Feng Lin, a Zhejiang native.

The Guangzhou-based gay children’s parents’ group, according to Feng Lin’s mother, offered her vital assistance in coming to that realization.

Later, she told the rest of the family: “If you love my boy, you need to accept him whether he loves a woman or a man. If you cannot accept this and find it embarrassing, we can end our relationship.”

There are no official statistics on the number of gay people in China but  Li Yinhe suggests gay people can account for 3 to 4 percent of the population, which means that the number of gay people in China could range from 39 million to 52 million.

讀者回應

1. 2014-08-01 21:36  
Progressing...
2. 2014-08-02 06:49  
I thought this was a good article. Living in the U.S. gives us a slightly different perspective on alternative lifestyles, but we still have to deal with prejudices here as well. The situation in China is quite a bit different, but embracing a gay lifestyle makes sense if for no other reason than the imbalance of the male and female population. I of course am a champion of equal rights, but in China, a more pragmatic view might be a better path. That being said, I think it is a universal opinion of dedicated parents, that their children be able to live happy, fulfilled lives.
回應#3於於2014-08-02 06:52被作者刪除。
回應#4於於2014-08-02 06:51被作者刪除。
回應#5於於2014-08-02 06:52被作者刪除。
回應#6於於2014-08-02 06:52被作者刪除。
7. 2014-08-02 08:03  
I wish this article could be seen in the main stream media so that EVERYONE becomes aware of these issues. I live in China and unless I see GLTB news on gay websites, I wouldn't know what's going on.
8. 2014-08-02 11:02  
good on you chinese mothers and fathers to accept your child just the way they are :) either in china or elsewhere
9. 2014-08-02 17:11  
@Foreverlovin You can see such news in Chinese medias especially from the internet (not possible in the mainstream medias), but in China nobody cares such things, it's like something happening on another planet, and some will even think they're insane. In China the gay issue is still underground, many people even wonder if gay really exist, or far away from their real life(because in China so few people dare to come out of the closet).

I think these parents of gay children are very inspiring, they fight against the big homophobia of the public in China. And I noticed from the news most of them are mothers, maybe because of mothers' nature, they are more willing to sacrifice for their children. These tiny sparks will illuminate the dark in China little by little. They're great, they're heroes! We really need their support, thanks for them!
10. 2014-08-03 01:34  
This is a very courageous and simply necessary step. It will help make homosexuality more accepted and seen as something normal. In this context I highly recommend watching Fan Popo's touching documentary "Mama Rainbow": http://www.queercomrades.com/en/videos/queer-comrades-videos/queer-comrades-documentaries/mama-rainbow/
回應#11於於2014-08-04 19:48被作者刪除。
回應#12於於2014-08-04 19:49被作者刪除。
13. 2014-08-18 02:53  
As is true in so many countries, their own history of embracing homosexuality is kept from the people by the existing powers.

Read: Passions of the Cut Sleeve, Bret Hinsch

Also excellent texts looking globally and of course including China:
"The Origin and Role of Same Sex Relations in Human Societies" by James Neil
Born to Be Gay-A history of Homosexuality, William Naphy
回應#14於於2014-08-18 03:30被作者刪除。
15. 2014-08-21 02:52  
I love it!! "Li Yinhe suggests gay people can account for 3 to 4 percent of the population, which means that the number of gay people in China could range from 39 million to 52 million"

52 Million gay guys in China. Yippee!

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