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26 Sep 2005

Antony And The Johnsons: I Am A Bird Now

Fridae's music mistress, Mariah Scary, flies off her chair and flutters around in excitement after hearing Antony and the Johnsons' new album.

Artist: Antony And The Johnsons

Released: 2005

When Ms Scary first heard the dramatic piano-driven songs of Antony and the Johnsons, she swears that the band's androgynous front person sounds exactly like a chronically depressed modern day castrato warbling away with a vibrator in his throat.

Androgynous art-pop singer-songwriter Antony Hegarty (above) of Antony and the Johnsons.
Singing about the plight of a man who feels like a woman trapped in an awkward man's body, the Chichester-born cross dresser's second album I Am A Bird Now features the stark deathbed portrait of transvestite and Warhol superstar Candy Darling on its cover and lasts only 35 minutes.

Despite its brevity, Ms Scary finds herself dabbing at the corners of her eyes with her scented handkerchief while listening to Antony Hegarty bare his soul in I Am A Bird Now. With his unique vocals switching from falsetto highs to trembling lows, the singer-songwriter who calls Marc Almond his "real mother" weaves spare yet enchanting tales about gender fluidity that most gay or transgendered person can identify with.

For afflicted with growing pains, there is the gender anxiety and confusion of "For Today I Am A Boy": "One day I'll grow up, I'll be a beautiful woman/One day I'll grow up, I'll be a beautiful girl." For those trapped in abusive relationships, there is the troubling romanticisation of violence in "Fistful of Love" (featuring Lou Reed): "I feel your fists/And I know it's out of love I accept and I collect upon my body/The memories of your devotion."

For the transgendered community, there's the transsexual angst of My Lady Story": "My lady story is one of annihilation/My lady story is one of breast amputation." And for ageing queens who fear growing old alone, there is "Hope There's Someone": "Hope there's someone/Who'll take care of me/When I die, will I go/Hope there's someone/Who'll set my heart free/Nice to hold when I'm tired."

However, it's not all gloom and doom in I Am A Bird Now. There is the affirmative "You Are My Sister" (featuring iconic 80s gender bender Boy George) which celebrates "sisterhood": "You are my sister/And I love you/May all of your dreams come true," and there is the closing track "Bird Gurl" which serves as a fitting declaration of transformation and transcendence: "I've been searching/For my wings some time/I'm gonna be born/Into soon the sky/'Cause I'm a bird girl."

Definitely one of this year's most distinctive and affecting album.

Scary's Selected Spins: "Hope There's Someone," "My Lady Story," "For Today I Am A Boy," "You Are My Sister" and "Fistful of Love."

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