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if you want to check out my latest mixes online

(there is a brand new one this past weekend!)

Just click on the link below!

https://www.mixcloud.com/JoeyA19/

Sunscreen: Beauty of Joseon Relief Sun

Exfoliant: Paula's Choice 

Serum: iUNIK Tea Tree

Moisturiser: Rovectin Lotus

Do we all have a void to fill in our lives, at every point in our lives, regardless of the circumstances we were in?
For e.g., even if we have supportive family and friends to hang out with, or even have a pet, is there an emptiness calling out for a different type of companionship?
that even on activities-filled days, some moments pop up and you ask yourself - why am I running around like a lab rat, am I happy?

What is the void you always find that you try to fill?
What drives its existence?
Can the void be filled with love and/or gratitude?
How about only love and nothing else?
Or does it actually require a multi-faceted approach from all the dear people in your life?

I know my void is a darkness that seems to never go away.
I wonder if it came into my world the day I was born.
It can hide, and I thought love overcame it.
It can shrink, when I try to feed gratitude.
It can grow, sometimes expectedly, other times it just consumes me.

Does my need-to-know fuel its existence and growth?
They say ignorance is bliss but I can't ignore it.
I have long accepted it as a part of me
but I'm still not sure how to treat it.
So I'm letting it be

I started to write songs, sad ones first. Is pretty difficult now cause I have to fill so much emotion into short lines. I am trying...haha. Next one is a Love Song, titled ' Love You So...?'

Unrequited

The warmth in your embrace

I feel is chilly and cold

When we are together

Your thoughts like a kite

Flying far away from us

Why is it with you

I feel like an incomplete circle

In your quiet presence

The loneliness consumes me 

Your hands never reach out to me

Your eyes never search for me

Your voice never call out to me

Your heart never burn for me

Is it because I don't deserve

To live as One with you

I hope life will teach me

To embrace sadness

Even if happiness evades me

Just let me breathe

One more time, each time

Without you...

Indigo

I wrote this for You, Broken-Hearted Girls who needs some comforting words.

Fragmented Soul

My voice that used to sing

Now a sadden crying quiver

Can someone hear my misery?

Will anyone save me?

The deep cuts to my heart

Made me a Fragmented Soul

My mind can't see forever

Will time abandon me now?

My wandering aimless thoughts

Is pushed to a loneliest corner

Sorrow choking my spirit

My weary breadths beg to live

Can I try to open my eyes

To see colours once again

I want to feel hope

Flowing in my veins 

Will the drowning cease?

Can the pain stop torturing me?

I want to heal my brokenness

I want to be whole again

I can, I will and I try today...

Indigo

Saturday morning,  sunny 11:02 a.m. 11.11.23

Song and James have been meeting for swimming almost every day since the first session. It has been more than a week. The bond between them grew as they got acquainted. They have mutual respect even when both a naked, they don't feel awkward anymore.

James came to understand that Song is sensitive to touch. That explained his erection when James soaped and rinsed his private parts. Song felt sensual when James' hands touched his penis and balls. Every time he apologised to James, who will just smiled and nodded in response. 

The autumn grew colder as winter was approaching. The people using the indoor swimming pool reduced. Song did not mind the cold, for he so loved swimming. Soon, the whole swimming pool only has Song and James. The usual buzziness in the shower room transformed into pin-drop silence. The whole shower room "belonged" to the two friends.

The water heater was turned on. James soaped Song. As James approached Song's groin area, Song's penis became hard and erected. This time, James playfully stroked Song's penis a couple times. That sensation was arousing Song. He was horny.

As Song hesitated, he struggled to control his thoughts. At last, Song told James that he was feeling very horny. James smiled and asked if he could suck Song's penis. James engaged in oral sex with Song. It has been a very long period since Song's penis was sucked. He was sexually aroused. He felt so good. Finally, Song ejaculated into James' mouth....

They didn't stop there. James sat on Song, using Song's hard penis to penetrate into his love hole. They had sex on the showering wheel chair...

Song and James developed from friendship to love relationship. Both men finally fulfilled their wish. Winter is not longer lonely for them. Their love blossoms every day. They live for each other and accepted each other by uniting their bodies into 1.

There is always hope. Wait and you will find love knocking on you.❤💋

Saturday (sunny morning) 9:58 a.m. 11 November 2023. 11.11.23

This fictional story was inspired by the recent Asian Para Games

Weekends are the days people look forward to;to spend time with love ones; to meet-up with friends; or just to laze around the house. Basically, weekends are rest days. To James, weekends are days where he could laze in his bed singing in to gay dating sites. Every time he signed in, he hoped to chat with someone. Sometimes if he is lucky, he get to meet someone. 

It was mid-autumn, as the town is preparing for the winter. James dreaded this time of the year. Not only it the year is approaching the full 365 days, the cold and quiet ambience in town makes James feeling lonely. He longed for someone to cuddle with him,making him warm and pampered. Well, he cannot insist on things to happen according to his wish. He can only depend on the gay dating sites to make his wish come true; even if it is for a brief moment. 

So, as usual James signed in his favourite gay dating site and waited patiently, as if waiting for the fish to get hooked. He was rather frustrated by the almost consistent deleting or blocking by other members after James told them that he is  Vietnamese. He was upset that people stereotyped him as a scammer, a gold digger. He was irritated by these people. All James wanted was to befriend someone nice for a buddy.it isn't complicated. Alias, he can only keep trying. In the midst of his frustration and almost 2 hours online, a member paged James...

Song was the person who paged James. They exchanged their introductions. Then came to the part when Song asked if James is a local. "Not again..." James thought to himself. Anyway, he told Song that he is from Vietnam. As James expected Song to stop the conversation,  Song continued to share information about himself. "Hmmm... there is hope" James thought. So, the conversation continued for an hour or more. Then, they exchanged contact numbers before signing off, and both continued what they planned to do. 

Offline, Song sent messages to James. The conversation continued that way for the next couple of days. Just before they wished each other a good night sleep, Song disposed something to James impromptu. Song is wheelchair bound. He leg muscles weakened overtime. To Song's relief, James did not mind his condition. That night, both guys signed off with relief and gratitude, for they got to know each other better.

The guys got used to messaging and calling each other, so much so that it is a routine for them. They developed the mutual understanding and established a bond between the two friends. Both has someone to look forward to to fill the emptiness of the chilly autumn. James got to know that Song is an avid swimmer. He swims almost every evening after work. But Song needs a swim-safety buddy to be by his side, so that he will be assisted immediately when in need. Song asked James if they could meet. Perhaps James can be his swim-safety buddy. James agreed. That was how both friends moved a little closer, by meeting each other in person.

Even though both Song and James met for the first time, they down feel like strangers. It was as if they have been friends for many years. Back in the swimming session. James enjoyed being a swim-safety buddy. He felt like he was the limbs for Song to stand in the water and to rest. The 1-hour session ended swiftly. James assist Song to his wheelchair and wheeled Song to the showering cubicle. Song shyly told James that he needed help to shower, as it was difficult for Song to wipe himself dry and wear his clothing without getting wet. "Not a problem. I am a friend ideed", said James.

James took off Song's swimming trunk. He started assisting Song to shower. He shampooed Song's hair and rinse it thoroughly. Then, he soaped Song, starting from his neck down. James then soaped Song's lower part of his body. Oh goodness... what he saw! Song had an erection. Song appeared awkward and embarrassed. To ease Song's embarrassment,  James pretend that the erected penis was just nothing. So, James continued to wash Song's body and dried his body. After shower, both guys left for home.

(To be continued in part 2)

me and partner look for nice people to join us for fun sexy times

When I think about you, I smile...hummm...What is it I like about you?

Our chats are like little quips, blurps and even bleeps but I like all of them. Is because your msgs reach me in the wee hours of the mornings when the moon is still hanging up in the the night sky. Sometimes very early in the morning when you just opened your eyes. Even when you are sick and under medication, you still would msg me. When you are rushing around, you will send me a short greeting. In between places, you will update me. I realized I am always in your thoughts and that is enough for me. Just know that you are always in my thoughts too!

Indigo

Dedicated to all Coffee Lovers...I like mine with smooth textured milk and a dash of sweetness...Then I stir and sip my amazing Latte Love enjoying her full-bodied bittersweet taste that peaked with a heady caffeine rush...Nice! No Coffee, No Workee...Haha.

Our Love for Coffee is so lucid, captivating and eternal. We enjoy our romance with Coffee daily and it gets more intense and creative with time. Some days, we enjoy it just Black. Other days, we crave for an exciting Latte. At times, we sought Caramel Macchiato just to show off our experiences with Coffee Love. 

We are helpless without Coffee and this addiction must be satisfied the moment we opened our eyes. Coffee Love wields a stronghold of our Minds and keeps us as Caffeine Captives with total submission to her until quenched. Just give me Coffee. I need Coffee...Whatever...Coffee Love is straightforward and repeats itself like a broken record playing with no end. Brewing the same hypnotizing Coffee magic and dominating our mental health. Yet, we absolutely Love it and are willing slaves.

Why can't we Love another Soul the manner we Love Coffee?

Indigo

I really like this song, 'Short Skirt/Long Jacket' by CAKE. The girl portrayed in this song is super-cool, sexy and attitude on legs. But she is not my kinda Girl.

I wanna Girl whose bright eyes squint with a smile 

And cheeks that dimpled with sweet cuteness

She walks with heels strutting her balanced swagger

Her voice smooth, clear and bubbly like Veuve Champagne 

She dresses like a chameleon fashionista with style that sets her apart

Her hair lazily resting on her sexy shoulders waiting to be kissed

She parks her perky butt and crosses her legs to show she is the Boss

When she taps her fingers, be ready to obey and submit...haha

Her Heart beating with a steady rhythm waiting to embrace dance with me

I wanna Girl whose bright eyes locked gaze with Me

She tells me, she wanna be my Girl...

Indigo

When the realization struck, my heart shattered into countless pieces. The person I believed I knew so intimately, the one who held my trust, had been concealing multiple accounts on dating websites. It felt like a devastating blow, leaving me gasping for breath in a sea of heartbreak. 

Moving on from this pain feels like an insurmountable mountain before me. Every step is burdened with memories of what once was, the promises made, and the dreams we shared. The weight of betrayal hangs heavy in the air, a constant reminder of the shattered trust that can never be fully repaired.

Staying in this emotional battlefield is an agonizing struggle. The desire to cling onto the fragments of a love that was tarnished by deceit gnaws at my soul. Doubt and confusion intertwine, playing a merciless symphony in my mind. How did I not see the signs? How could I have been so blind?

Yet, amidst the anguish, a glimmer of strength flickers within me. It whispers of resilience and self-worth, urging me to take the first daunting steps toward healing. It tells me that I deserve honesty, loyalty, and a love that stands unwavering. 

The road ahead may be arduous, filled with tears and moments of weakness. But I will gather the shattered remnants of my heart and piece them together with newfound wisdom and self-love. I will rise from the ashes of this heartache, stronger and more resilient than before. For in the depths of pain, I will find the courage to let go and embrace the possibility of a brighter tomorrow.

Can I LOVE someone who is Broken and Imperfect?

I saw a Girl with her past tattooed all over her body...Phoenix Wings, Scaly Dragon and Swooshing Chinese Characters. All spelling resounding rebel in the flesh. Her eyes stared at me longingly. She asked me if I mind her tattoos. We had chatted for sometime and we met. She admitted she was an Ah Lian in her youth and hung out with Ah Bengs who used her body for their pleasure. She was a wicked rebel true and true.

I saw a Girl who yearned to be Loved. She was just a Girl who wanted to look pretty. Taken seriously when she spoke intelligently. Does every responsibility she was handed with passionately. Loved her family and always making time for them. She placed her tender beating heart in the cupped palm of her hands and passed her heart to me...She opened her heart to me true and true.

There is this Japanese Art, Kintsugi meaning, "To Join with Gold". This Art celebrates Life's Flaws, Mistakes and Brokenness where this Beauty is appreciated in her simplicity and praised as Complete. Broken vessels are put together again with pure gold and this Imperfect Art looks amazingly Perfect.

We were together for five perfect years. She loved me like there's no tomorrow. Today was what mattered to us and we played the dating game as Lovers making the most of every second. We Loved till Love overflowed for each other.

I saw a Girl who cried while pursuing her dream.  I got lost in my restlessness while she strove towards her goal. Her treasured heart deposited with me, I broke it. She rained fire and brimstone upon me which I quietly acknowledged. I was sorry, very sorry true and true.

That Girl was a Kintsugi Masterpiece...all her flaws neatly joined in bright shining Gold. Me? I made her Broken and Imperfect, all over again.

Indigo

Hmmm...where shall we go on our First Date?

I wanna sweep You off your feet... literally, Hahahaha. I will bring you to a secret place and time on Bintan Island. We will wake up just before sunrise, after curling up together through the night. The starry night blanket in the sky is just pierced with only soft rays of the gentle hidden sun. 

I will whisper into your ear, how beautiful your sihouette is contrasting the reflections on the ocean's surface. We will speak softly so as not to awaken the local Kingfisher and Osprey as we wade into the waters with our twin kayak.

Why is this moment special? We are the only Lovers out at sea at this hour. This is our time, You and Me. Our conversations, our laughters and giggles, our teasings as we steal kisses at every opportunity. 

Our constant moving oars will pass crystal clear waters displaying the rhythmic dance of the vast bright green seagrass as the sun quietly rises. Schools of fish will spring out of the sea to greet us excitedly. The colours before our eyes will change from deep mystery to colours of magical kaleidoscope. I will then sing you a love song to warm your heart. I only want you to be happy...

When we reach the shore, we will sit holding each other tightly and just enjoy the majestic sunrise before us. Softly again, I will tell you how beautiful you are as we look into each others eyes...

Indigo

Haha...sharing some Fun Tips on how to make yourself more attractive to Girls...

#1

Don't do BORING Talk during a Date!!! Yawn...yawn...yawn...I wanna go home!

Be PUNCTUAL!

First things first, compliment a Girl for looking her best on her date with you. Her hair, her nice perfume, her outfit, how good she looks...break the ice and let her feel comfortable with you.

Be entertaining, creative, humorous, intelligent and speak fluently. Find out what interests her currently and keep the conversations flowing with interesting new facts in that area and fascinate her with your updated information. Shows you too are interested in what makes her happy. 

Keep the conversations on a positive note and leave out any points of discussions that may be contentious. No need to agree to disagree during a date.

Keep a winsome smile planted on your face and body language leaning towards her. Your eyes should be focussed on her and not be looking around at other people or what is happening around the area... don't be rude to your date. Give her your utmost attention and fuss over her a bit if she needs anything more...take care of it.

If you can make her laugh is a bonus! She will remember how she enjoyed your company and had a lovely time with you. Laughter is the Best Glue for a Date!

Lastly, mind your table manners and dine elegantly. Hopefully, there will be a second date...fingers crossed.

Good-Luck

Indigo

I have swam in the clearest sea daily with a clownfish swimming next to my goggle. This is early in the sunrise morning before the waves set in and the blue sea is a crystal mirror to the blue sky above....I saw the Bluest of Blue with my eyes and cry at her immense Beauty!

I have tasted LOVE's Bittersweetness but never Truest of True LOVE and I just believe in this lifetime...I never will. LOVE today has been defiled with Selfish Temporal Desires. There is no end to satisfying ME and WE remains a vacuum shallow emotion merely entertained with no timelessness in the horizon.

We have compromised LOVE's magical efficacy, potency, vibrancy and all-consumming Loveliness with hedonistic pleasure seeking ways...I am truly heart-broken with wrenching, endless gripping pain.

I will leave this space in my heart empty and travel to appreciate higher pursuits of creative endeavours to quench my inner longing for enlightenment of a different aroma and taste....something more hideously delightful than LOVE.

Indigo

This morning when I woke up, my mind's clear and a story spins like crazy in my thoughts, from start to finish. I have to obey and write this for my wonderful Girlie audience.

When I place this absolute...resolute...single-minded, heat-seeking missile focus to find YOU, the target of my Everything...I will run to You wth ernest speed, passion, strength and commitment and NEVER GIVE UP despite the many rejections I will face. I will be broken. I will fall down. I will bleed. I will be dragged through the mud...But I will weakly pull myself together, stand up and move forward, picking up speed again for my relentless quest to reach where YOU are, wherever YOU may be.

My heart is consumed with this pure desire for YOU. My mind, reluctant at first, has decided to join hands and go on this HUNT for you. So you see...the heart always makes things difficult for the mind...haha

Please give me a chance and open roads that have been blocked for me to get through to YOU.  This is a cry from my soul!

I hope and hope and hope in this blind state not knowing YOUR existence. I also hope and hope and hope that when we do connect, WE will both be consumed by LOVE's FIRE and burn for each other. This fiery magic happens when YOUR Love seeps into my being and overwhelms my entirety and my Love rushes into YOUR deepest sanctums and calms Your Soul. Only then, WE will rest and WE will LOVE till LOVE gushes over and over and over with time, only for US. This is the LOVE I have for YOU.

Indigo

... aren't always easy to make. There are too many options in life and when you can't decide, just put it aside. If you're pressed to make a decision and it doesn't turn out, it can be both a learning experience and/or a blessing in disguise. You just have to further decide how you want to see it! :)