Recent Blog Posts
Fall in Love
farfelu - 1 day ago
I believe that falling in love is out of our control. All the pheromones in the air coupled with the right timing and shared laughter bind two souls for that moment, which leads to the U-haul ;) Months later, the daily toils and drudgery of life settles; passion fizzles and so does the mirth of chatter. Now, you can choose to stay or you throw in the towel and say that you fell out of love...
What will you do?
One travel tale
Kinnen - 1 day ago
Today had been a day of sharing travel stories. Of all the adventures that I heard, I realized that the ones that were most often told involved kindness from strangers -- more specifically, the friendly locals of the travel destinations.
One of them told me how she was on a company organized trip in Hanoi, which started most unpleasantly with a scam at a foot massage spa. By the last day of the trip, she was so frustrated with the fact that she hadn't had the chance to eat pho (all meals had prearranged by the company thus far) that the first thing she did on waking up was to head down to the front desk and asked for recommendations to nice pho restaurants.
A housekeeping staff, who just got off duty, offered to take her to a really nice one. Somehow, she threw all her precautions to the air and followed the housekeeping staff, in the T-shirt and shorts she slept in, without her phone and cash, and without informing her colleagues who were still asleep.
That day, she tasted one of the best pho in her life, without a single hair harmed, and had her faith in humanity restored. She had offered to pay for the pho later when the housekeeping staff sent her back to the boutique hotel, but it was kindly declined. The staff wouldn't even accept a tip.
Of course, she counted herself lucky that she had met a kind and friendly local. Things could have gotten bad, but thankfully, life had a different lesson in store for her.
Not all people we encounter in life are bad; most are actually good and nice people. As a solo traveler, I had certainly been blessed by the kindness of strangers whom I encountered in my trips. In fact, having the chance to socialize with people from all walks of life is one reason why I enjoy solo traveling so much.
At times, when we open our hearts, good things do happen.
RIP dead phone
hc_tennis - 1 day ago
24 Feb 2017 (Fri): Sudden death of phone + 8 months of lost data 😱😭
Those 8 months were a critical milestone in your life, which you kept me updated without checking am I really interested to know about them. Anyway with the sudden death of my phone, those info are gone forever......
Although up to date info is still ongoingly sent to me, it seems an incomplete novel, with a sudden jump from chapter 1 to chapter 3, and the entire chapter 2 being ripped off from the novel with the protagonist missing in action......
I have been researching on new phone models for some time and have been planning to change soon. But the sudden death of my old phone still kinda upsets me, especially when it left me in a sudden frantic mode.
Perhaps it's really God's will to let me start afresh. Starting with a new phone brand and new UI for me to get used to. A new career to struggle and adapt to. What's next? New relationship? Haha. Let's see what the almighty has planned for me.
greyish - 1 day ago
等吧。等得到的。 wait. Just wait.
要来的终究会来。 要走的终究会走。 destinated to come, will sure come. Will leave one, sure still go.
就等吧！let's just wait !
微笑着的等。。 smile and wait.
会等到。.. will able to...
Blackmail - LET IT BE , veela
eissej - 2 days ago
ICMEI Promotes Indo Maldives Film And Cultural Forum
asiannewsagency - 2 days ago
New Delhi: International Chamber of Media And Entertainment Industry is marching towards its goal of creating 162 international committees activated for uniting the World through films, art and culture.
A new association under the name and banner of Indo Maldives Film And Cultural Forum has been created by ICMEI, proposed and inaugurated by H.E. Ahmed Mohamed High Commissioner of Maldives to India on the second day of 5th Global Festival of Journalism Noida 2017.
“The formation of Indo Maldives Cultural Forum is an initiative to bring in better relations between India and Maldives. This leads to love, peace and unity between the two countries,” said H.E. Ahmed Mohamed High Commissioner of Maldives to India.
“We have already designed some of the interesting programs like student’s exchange, faculty exchange, film festivals, joint productions, film tourism to start with the country of Maldives. Many new ideas will come in the next few weeks,” said Sandeep Marwah President of Marwah Studios talking about Indo Maldives relations.
Sandeep Marwah has been nominated as the Chairperson of the forum by the High Commissioner and was presented with the memento. Later Marwah proposed H.E. Ahmed Mohamed as the patron of the organization and handed over the certificate of the patron ship.
High Commissioner Ahmed Mohamed inaugurated the exhibition of photography by the students of Asian School of Media Studies, released the poster of Deen Dayal Upadhayaya Forum and the news letter of the festival on the same day as mark of cultural exchange.
The event was attended by the senior IAS officer N. P. Singh District Magistrate of Noida, senior journalist Kumar Mohan from Mumbai, Radio Jockey from Fever FM Station, Ashok Tyagi Secretary General of ICMEI, Dr. Ajay Kumar Director ASMS, Prof. Kalyan Sarkar Dean AAFT, Sushil Bharti Director Radio Noida, Ravindra Bawa BBC Correspondent and prominent people from the field of media and journalism.
Onetwenty - 3 days ago
Onetwenty - 3 days ago
ct_vision - 3 days ago
For the first time in my life I realize I’m in trouble. I’ve been hyperventilating over the last 2 weeks, with heart palpitations, discomforts in my chest and my hands tremble when I type. When I tried to get some work done today, I can’t focus and break out into cold sweat. I’ve spent the last few hours researching what could possibly be wrong with me and the symptoms I’ve inserted into Google have been throwing back “panic attack/ disorder” at me. Causes of panic attacks are usually either genetically hereditary and/or severe stress, such as the death of a loved one, divorce, or job loss. I’ve always led a stressful life, but never felt it like this. I’ve always been able to function.
My new role has become toxic and I’ve been worried about the family. Could the pain from my heartbreak really have cut so deep? All 3 aspects of my life have hit me at the same time. Have I really been brought to my knees? Issues that time, money and effort can fix aren’t real problems. Real problems are the things I fear the most. Is my job a real problem? No, with time and effort I’ll be back on track. Perhaps my fears rest in the health of my family and matters of my own heart. Time, money or all the effort in the world may not help on either front. I have a lack of appreciation of fear, but I guess now its got me in its grip. I know my Sis is recovering well, but as the family gets older, these occurrences will only become more frequent not less. What are my next steps? What safeguards can I put in place to ensure that when an emergency hits, I’ll be able to respond quickly and do the right thing for them? What do I need to do to stop allowing myself from getting hurt and falling for people who aren’t available? I’m better than this. I used to be able to weed this people out. I let my guard down with her.
It’s time to clean up my act. No more smoking, alcohol, and caffeine which appears to provoke panic attacks. I’ve quit smoking a decade ago, but have returned to it in the last 2 weeks as a form of escape. The return of my insomnia in recent months had me on caffeine pills in the day and alcohol at night to neutralize myself. I’ve clearly hit my limits and sent my body over the rails.
Listen to me sing Would I lie to you
eissej - 3 days ago
emale1069 - 3 days ago
孫耀威 - 愛的故事 (上集)
粵語作詞：潘偉源 作曲：George Takahash 編曲：唐奕聰
星的光點點灑於午夜 人人開開心心說說故事 偏偏今宵所想講不太易 遲疑地望你想說又復遲疑 秋風將湧起的某夜 遺留她的窗邊有個故事 孤單單的小伙子不顧寂寞 徘徊樹下直至天際露月兒 冬風吹走幾多個月夜 為何窗邊的她欠缺注視 刻於窗扉小子寫的愛慕字 完全沒用像個飄散夢兒 今宵的小伙子傾吐憾事 誰人癡癡的要再聽故事 △偏偏癡心小子只知道上集 祈求下集是個可愛夢兒 ○知不知對你牽上萬縷愛意 每晚也痛心空費盡心思 這小子欲斷難斷這故事 全為我愛上你偏偏你不知 (全為我愛上你偏偏你不知) 春風輕吹點點火花襯月夜 人人開開心心說說故事 終於傾出這小子的往事 長年累月為你怎再自持 今宵知否對你的暗示 為何真的將它當故事 (Repeat△○) ☆知不知每晚想你十次百次 每晚也去等 因為極心癡 可不可合力延續這故事 延續這片愛意一生兩相依 (Repeat○☆)
Famliy safe and sound
ct_vision - 4 days ago
Stepping through the familiar family front door brings a sense of safety and security. I think when I entered the flat, that feeling went both ways. I’m glad to be home. As I hugged mom, I’m sure she felt the same as well. She feels like her rock is home. Checked in on my Sister and she seems to be doing alright. For someone who was warded into hospital last week for a mild heart attack and she looks normal at the moment and has been recuperating at home this week.
Mom made me some food and we talked for a bit. She’s been worried sick and been home watching over my Sister just in case. For better or worse, at least I’m home for the next few days and my being around the house makes Mom feel less helpless should anything happens.
I do feel better with a more relieved frame of mind. My family is ok. And as long as I breathe, I’ll make sure that they are. Mom gets a few days off being more relaxed with me in the house helping with housework and a safety net in case any unforeseen situation happens with my Sis. I’ll be a more level headed person to handle emergency situations.
My action plan in now in play. The new CT is re-emerging. Time for bed to re-focus my life tomorrow.
Step 1 - Check on family - DONE
Step 2 - Figure out next 5 to 10 years of career trajectory - In progress
Step 3 - Personal life (re-prioritize people) - pending
Evolution welcome or not?
Chalkncheese - 4 days ago
I had done a full fledged seminar on Personality types. Then my dominant personality was Analytical Amicable. According to the facilitatir, it was an odd combination.
Anayltical minds, too logical. Always that wet blanket, raining on everyone's parade. The first to say no, when the slighest hint of nonsense is detected. Or that skeptical mind steps in and decides that a brillllant idea is non exectionable.
Having that analyical mind i admit wasn't a walk in the park, for me professonally. You say jump, i won't ask how high or how far, probably why, how, where, when.
i recalled the facilitator the seminar said our dominant personality will change as our career paths evolved. I wasn't every much convinced. But now i am.
I have a new role now, professionally And evolution happened. i have to be a Driver now. Don't care how you do, where you do as long as you get it done.
I am not sure when had i decided to give up the control freak, or, perhaps that old me just took a backseat for now. Maybe it is because i don't have time to listen and plan, i need something done and i need it like yesterday?!
Do i like this version of myself?
The adrenaline rush to get things done; the constant i don't have enough time so be quick; the i need these to be done and writes the list; the 'i am sending you my plans while on the go, don't think i need everything now...perhaps later in an hour?'
i accomplished more in an hour as compared to the analytical me.
i also end up spending more time to rectify temporary not well thought through solutions just to get over for now situations.
Is this a good change?
For now, it works for me, so let's roll with it.
For those who works with me? Well......
Broken but not beaten
ct_vision - 4 days ago
Yesterday was another day spent in a daze. Between the short bursts of panic attacks and tears, all I could manage was a short coffee session with a trusted mentor in the office. She’s been trying to poach me over for the last 2 years and given the career situation I’m in, I went to her for a change in thought paradigm. She was happy to see me, though she noticed the fatigue in my eyes. Within the first 15 minutes of conversation, she absorbed the circumstances I described and went right into reassuring me that my reputation preceded me, and that if the role wasn’t working, it wouldn’t be me that looked odd. I need to start remembering who I am. In the last week, I’ve had so many people rally around me, reminding me of the fighter than I am. The shark I was. Of how I created the banking association people for the last 10 years thought will be impossible to formalize. I made the impossible, possible. All my mentors, friends and HK family holding me, reminding me that I’m not just anybody. I feel like a fighter in a ring who had just received a hard cross to the jaw sending me down onto the canvas. Everyone standing ringside pounding on the canvas yelling at me to get up.
After coffee, I walked aimlessly in the direction back to Sifu’s place where I’ve been hiding out from the world in the last 2 days. I ended up at St. John’s chapel where I sat, teared and had a conversation with the God that had forsaken me a long time ago. There’s a reason why I’m now an atheist. I believe in a higher being, I’m just not sure which one. Every religion is tainted as soon as man gets involved. My spiritual connection to any higher being is exactly that, just me and whatever is above. I don’t need a middleman to interpret and taint the message with their own human opinions and politics. I asked him so many questions. Why was I born gay? Why do I attract people with issues or have no idea what they want in life? Why do I always have to fight? Will my soul ever find another it’s meant to be with? Why can’t I lead a normal average ordinary life and just cruise like the billions around the world? Will I ever find the permanence and happiness I seek? I heard the answers. The same answers I’ve heard over a long time ago. If not me, who else? I was made different for a reason. To change this world. I support and lift the people around me because that’s the highest form of strength. People push me and I fight because they know I can take it. I’m never going to be normal, because my life isn’t meant to be. It’s meant to be extraordinary. I will find my permanence and happiness. I just haven’t found her yet and I won’t settle for second best. I knelt there crying and in pieces as the answers filled my being. I am a General broken from battle. I’ve not stopped in a decade. Never looked back to see how far I’ve come. I need to heal quickly because I’ve got an army to lead.
As the chapel’s doors closed, the evening skies began to tear with me. Met M at IFC where we talked and drank and this time, I took her on the emotional roller coaster with me. She’s training to be a therapist. She wants to be a healer. I’m broken enough to try anything at this point. Between the wine, tuning forks placed on my chest and tears, I uncovered another layer to her. She told me her story of getting so close to a lesbian friend in her drama class to the point that seeing her friend with her partner together was difficult for M. It almost sounded like M is in love with her, but because they are both attached, it’s never going to be. If two people feel so much for each other and yet can’t be together, what’s the point of life? I’ve asked this question all my life and have never found the answer. I questioned M with a personal vendetta as I unconsciously slipped into this lesbian friend’s shoes. M told me that this lesbian friend just bought a house together with her partner and they are embarking onto the next stage of life together, despite all the complaints she has about her partner behind the scenes. As M teared, I sensed her affection for this person. I wish this person was brave and strong enough to want M fully instead of the way she does. She’s just looking for a safety net. For someone to give her the courage to leave her partner. I felt M’s heartache. As her tears rolled, so did mine. M stood over me and held me in her arms. I held onto her for dear life as she planted kisses on my tears soaked face reassuring me that everything will be ok. For a split moment, I felt like we slipped into different characters. I morphed into the lesbian friend she feels so much for and I held her wishing it was Miss ENFP. We both got so drunk, we were fighting over who would see who home. We actually ended up in a physical tussle outside Airport Express and scared the hell out of passengers there thinking we were having a lovers’ tiff with the yelling and tears. As we yanked at each other’s collars, I realized it wasn’t about who would be seeing who home, she was truly hurting over something. Either she’s absorbed all of my negative energy or her own issues were surfacing. At one point I overpowered her and just held her. Tried to ease her and comfort her. She let me, just for a moment. She calmed down. M’s definitely sorting through some stuff in her personal life. She got mad at me for seeing her home. She ran from me in the rain and yelled at me to leave. I backed off, but followed her in the distance to make sure she made it back alright. M’s been through a lot in her life. Perhaps the rain woke me up. I may be broken at the moment, but it’s nothing compared to the devastation of her 15 years relationship ending a few years ago.
I’ve realized that I have a gift. I feel people. I can feel them at their inner core if they let me in. I can sense their insecurities, uncertainties, fears, joy, affection and elation.
I need to heal, if not I’m useless to everyone around me. I need to take action to reset and recalibrate. Everyone is rooting for me to come back emotionally stronger and re-focused. Sifu and everyone around me is right. I need to stop to re-prioritize. I made Miss ENFP a priority. I gave her the unguarded access to my heart. I did this to myself. I can correct this. As I sit on the plane writing this, I know exactly what I need to do. I always take action. Talk is cheap and talk has never changed anything. I need to make sure my immediate family is alright to ensure my peace of mind to keep doing battle. When I return, I’ll be better rested and a different person. I’ll re-gain control over my career as I always have. Everything else can wait. Anyone who doesn’t want me, doesn’t deserve me.
Love SOMEONE today
Kinnen - 4 days ago
When you are in love with someone, you want the best for her. You shower her with affections and kind words; you look forward to spending time with her. You take her to the places that mean a lot to you -- your favourite restaurant, that unique themed cafe, that little neighbourhood that you call home. You want to share your best-loved experiences with her -- a weekend cycling trip across the island, a walk at sunset along the beach, a holiday at one of the most beautiful tropical islands in the world.
You may write her poems or love letters, listen to her rant about her work, and spoil her with expensive gifts. You tell her that she's the most beautiful woman in the world, lift her up with all your encouraging words, telling her that no matter what, you'll be right beside her, be there for her in her lowest moments, and share in her joys. You understand that she can have her dark moods and may need time on her own, you give her space and let her heal. You buy her a weekend spa retreat and cook her favourite dishes to cheer her up.
You love that someone so much, you want only the best for her.
Now, make that someone YOU.
Yes, you can love yourself. In fact, you ought to, because more than anything, you deserve the best out of this f*cked-up world.
Unicorn79 - 5 days ago
To those who took ur time to txt me esp shane...etc.. Sorry i din have the time to visit here n reply you, alternatively, you can contact me at 96797566. Thank you.
chrisvie - 5 days ago
ct_vision - 5 days ago
10th Feb Friday night on her 35th birthday. That was the night it all went south for me. It took a good friend looking at me under drunken lights of a live-band bar to break the news to me that I should have known myself. The words “when are you going to tell her that you love her?” went through my being like a canon and blew a hole right through. My system went into shock and I was reduced to a pile of ash with only tears. Loving someone who isn’t ready to love you back in the same way sometimes is more devastating than to have love and lost. At least there was an answer, at least that journey was done and parting was closure and the answer. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back, destroys the hope and possibility of that journey. Life without hope is so much harder.
Spending the last 6 months of communicating daily and seeing each other nearly every weekend has given me so much insights into her and her to me. Sometimes I feel like I know her better than she does herself. She may be bi, but she’s stuck in her comfort zone. Men have used her and left her and I was a breathe of fresh air. I gave her hope that there were still decent, trust-worthy people in the world, and she gave me hope that there may still be love possible for me, when I’ve given up a long time ago. I sensed and started realizing that she’s sorting some things in her life through when she told me that she’s been going for counseling. It’s always good to find mental clarity. I’m not sure if she’s ever truly been romantically attracted to me, but it felt so real. We talked about how we’ve lived a whole relationship through conversation over the last 6 months. It felt so real, but it wasn’t. It took me a while to reconcile what was said to me 11 days ago in that noisy bar, but never fully realized or allowed myself to because I know she’s not ready for another relationship at the moment. I do love her. She’s the first person I’ve fully let behind my walls, and it was far from random. I chose her to let in. There’s been so many people in the last decade, and I’ve not let them in. But I did with her. Perhaps this is the “yuan fen” that she always talks about.
My first true insanity. My heart, body and mind are broken and I’ve finally found my limits that I’ve been pushing all these years. I miss her so much but try not to think of her. I want to hear from her, but when I see her name pop up on my Iphone screen, my heart races and aches. I want to be the cause of her happiness and her of mine, but this isn’t the way I intended. I’ve always given her what she wants and needs no matter how hard it’s been on me. I’ve always kept my promises to her. She never wants to lose me as a friend and I’m killing myself desperately trying to keep that promise. Tears haven’t stopped since that day at the bar and still flows as I’m writing this. I know I will heal eventually, because I’ve been here so many times before, but not like this. I’ve always been able to turn my back, walk away and function. Now, I have no idea when all this will end. I have no idea if my heart will heal and harden even more than before. I have no idea if I’ll still love her the way I do. I have no idea if I’ll bury all this like a bad dream and move on. Except it wasn’t a bad dream. It was a dream I hoped was reality and I never have to wake up from.
I wished I didn’t feel the world so intensely. Love, justice, kinship, equality, right and wrong, truth and lies. I wish for once I’d meet someone who knew what they want. And hopefully that will be me. I wish for once life doesn’t have to be a fight and everything will just fall in place. I wish I could find the old me again, the one who was stronger and will say “walk away from her, she’s just another one to write off into history”. I’ve tried walking away from her like the rest, but I can’t do it. Trying to has reduced me to this mess. It feels like I’m trying to cut off a limb, but worse. A limb can be removed without the body dying. This feels like I’m letting a part of my heart die and with it part of the body dies as well. Which might explain why I’ve been incapacitated physically and mentally as well. All I can do most days is crawl into a fetal position and wait for the pain and tears to pass.
There were days I felt really despicable. I felt like I’ve turned into those men who want sexual intimacy with her. I’ve finally become one of them. But I’ve realized, I’m a lot worse. I want all 3 from her, emotional, mental and physical intimacy. I want her heart. And that greed makes me the worse one of them all. Perhaps this is karma catching up with me. I used to be able to compartmentalize. I guess it was much easier to when my heart wasn’t involved.
Life isn’t fair and I’ve known this for a long time now. It doesn’t matter how good or loving or caring I am. Life doesn’t work that way. That’s why I took the hand of the devil. For what it was worth, I was stronger, faster, more ruthless and more in control. I was invincible. The most helpless thing about being vulnerable is inaction. I’m still sane enough to seek help. The core strength within me lives. I got myself into this and I will get myself out.