Please select your preferred language.





Remember Me

New to Fridae?

Fridae Mobile App

Fridae Shop

Fresh : Blogs

Recent Blog Posts



Tagged - 6 hours ago

Fixing an appointment to discuss about break up sucks big time. When you had given thoughts about it way before telling me you wan to discuss, that's not a discussion.



swib - 9 hours ago





From New York Times: An Ethnic Chinese Christian, Breaking Barriers in Indonesia

Ling1977 - 9 hours ago

All the best to Mr. Basuki Tjahaja Purnama a.k.a. Ahok (钟万学)!

An Ethnic Chinese Christian, Breaking Barriers in Indonesia


JAKARTA, Indonesia — Jakarta, the sprawling Indonesian megacity of 10 million people, has a new governor with a difference.

It’s not just Basuki Tjahaja Purnama’s hard-charging style that sets him apart from his predecessors. It’s also the fact that he is Christian and ethnic Chinese, and is improbably running the capital of the world’s most populous Muslim-majority nation.

Mr. Basuki, a 48-year-old Protestant whose grandfather was a tin miner from Guangzhou, China, was sworn in Wednesday at the State Palace by President Joko Widodo.

None of Jakarta’s previous governors have been Christian or of Chinese ancestry, except for one who served briefly as an appointee half a century ago (like Mr. Basuki, he was both). And despite Indonesia’s history of discrimination — and, at times, savage violence — against ethnic Chinese, Mr. Basuki says he considers neither his faith nor his ethnicity to be a political handicap.

“When people told me ‘the Chinese are a minority,’ my father would say to tell them that we are more patriotic,” Mr. Basuki said in a recent interview. “If one day Indonesia is occupied by a foreign country, my father said he would be in front of the front line to fight for our independence again.”

Mr. Basuki was Jakarta’s deputy governor under Mr. Joko, who was elected president in July, and he has run the city for much of this year in Mr. Joko’s absence. Like Mr. Joko, Mr. Basuki is one of a small but growing group of political upstarts who gained national attention for running clean, effective local governments, in a country where corruption has long been a fact of life.

Known for being brash and speaking bluntly, Mr. Basuki — popularly known as Ahok — is very different from the soft-spoken Javanese politicians the capital is used to. He began turning heads just weeks after he and Mr. Joko took office in 2012, when videos of Mr. Basuki berating civil servants for incompetence appeared on YouTube.

Since then, he has added to his confrontational reputation by closing the capital’s most notorious nightclub after an off-duty police officer died there of a drug overdose, and by evicting thousands of illegal street vendors who had been compounding Jakarta’s chronic traffic problems.

“If you want to live in comfort, you have to get everything in order,” Mr. Basuki said. “And if you want to put everything in order, you have to have law enforcement.”

Mr. Basuki’s rise is a mark of the gains made by ethnic Chinese politicians since Indonesia’s transition to democracy in 1999 — particularly since direct elections were implemented at all levels of government, including local offices that were once filled by appointment.

“While there were no actual political restrictions, for all intent and purposes, Chinese were restricted from the public domain for decades,” said Kevin Evans, founder of Pemilu Asia, an Indonesian firm that collects political data. “With direct elections of district chiefs, mayors and lawmakers at the provincial level, ethnic Chinese are running and winning, and winning in districts where the Chinese population is a small minority.”

Though Chinese-Indonesians make up just over 1 percent of the vast Indonesian archipelago’s population, historically they have tended to wield economic clout beyond their numbers, which has often led to resentment. For decades, they were subjected to discriminatory laws and regulations.

Anti-Chinese sentiment exploded into rioting in cities across Indonesia in 1998, amid protests against then-President Suharto’s authoritarian rule. In Jakarta, more than a thousand people were killed in the rioting, more than 150 women were raped and entire blocks in the Chinatown district were razed.

While some affluent Chinese families fled to neighboring Singapore after the riots, Mr. Basuki’s family stayed. “We are descendants of China, but our motherland is Indonesia,” he said.

A former mining consultant, Mr. Basuki first ran for office in 2005, winning a local election on his native island of Belitung, off the southeast coast of Sumatra, in a district where 93 percent of the voters were Muslim. “I asked them why they wanted me to run, because I am of Chinese descent and a Christian,” he recalled of the local residents who approached him. “They said, ‘We don’t care — we know who you are. We know your character.’ ”

Bambang Harymurti, who was an editor in chief of Tempo magazine, a leading Indonesian newsweekly, said that some Indonesians, particularly in Jakarta’s more affluent circles, have a phobia about Chinese-Indonesians’ growing participation in high-level politics.

“The indigenous Indonesians may have the numbers, but Chinese dominate the economy,” Mr. Bambang said. “So these people are thinking, ‘Will they control the politics with Ahok as governor?’ ”

Opponents made Mr. Basuki’s ethnicity and religion an issue during Jakarta’s 2012 gubernatorial race, when he was Mr. Joko’s running mate. And when Mr. Joko, a Muslim, ran for president, he was subjected to a rumor campaign that characterized him as an ethnic-Chinese Christian.

Still, the electorate has evolved, said Philips J. Vermonte, head of the department of politics and international relations at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Jakarta, noting that the ethnicity-based attacks against Mr. Basuki and Mr. Joko were unsuccessful.

Mr. Basuki’s “just get it done” attitude has been applauded by many Jakartans, but he has critics. Last month, members of the hard-line Islamic Defenders Front clashed with the police outside the Jakarta City Council and City Hall buildings as they protested Mr. Basuki’s pending swearing-in, saying that a non-Muslim should not be governor.

Nonetheless, he is preparing to move into the colonial-style governor’s office on the southern end of Jakarta’s National Monument Park, opposite the State Palace. He is already thinking about what’s next.

“I think it’s easier to solve national problems like corruption if you are a president than as a governor,” Mr. Basuki said. “Who knows? I’d only need to move just across the park.”


Source of news article:


greenlab - 10 hours ago




Bluish monday night

Sky96 - 10 hours ago

Perhaps it is a grey monday night.












myrage - 10 hours ago

Funny how, you've never asked how I've ever felt. Not once. 


i'm implying...

pinkpurple - 15 hours ago

...that it hurts to see your friends have something that you may never have.


Bluish Monday

Sky96 - 16 hours ago













Christians, do you truly love Me?

princesszz - 17 hours ago


"I'm talking to Church people, the people who already believe in say I love Jesus, Jesus is Lord, but who are you trying to convince?"

"You say things like God will forgive me... after all I got saved a long time ago, surely He will just forget about all this... and you wilfully indulge in your favourite sin."

"Do you have any idea what your forgiveness cost Me? I had bits of flesh torn off my neck back and legs, a crown of thorns jammed into my head, I was stabbed in the side, gore gushed from my hands my feet and my side, just to cover the sins you are indulging in."

"When anyone tries to bring a word of correction to your sin, you immediately pass them off as un-Christlike and judgemental.... the one who says sin is wrong is judgemental, and the one who commits it and encourages others to do it is Christlike. How disgusting! You don't want to be like God, you just want people to back off when they start reproving the thing that you are most in love with."

"True love for God means true hatred for Sin... they've heard of the tremendous Love of God and yet they are in love with the very sin that crushed and murdered HIm.... you spit in the bloody face of the Lord as He hangs on the jagged wood taking your wrath, and you say, don't worry, He forgives."

"No one can serve two masters, you will love one and hate the other at the same time."



If it can't be seen, it doesn't mean it's not there

fatbird - 17 hours ago

I finally found the time, mood and energy to spend time with my whole family. I had them over to the new flat, and we just hanged out, cooked, ate, played games... On the way to my flat, we were in the bus and took a longer way back due to the rain. It's quite fun taking a bus ride in the rain and we discovered some new places that we could shop for groceries. 

My 6-year-old nephew was fascinated by the rainwater that ran down the sides of the bus, and we were chatting about how the ESA had chased after a comet for the past 10 years and finally landed a probe on it. Then we talked about aliens, and how long would we have to wait before we found proof of other living beings in outer space. Then he remarked: "Even if we can't see the aliens, it doesn't mean they don't exist." And we went on discussing about things that exist, but can't be seen. I was quite proud of him at that moment, that he could engage in a non-kiddie talk with me. If he were an adult, we would probably start arguing about whether there really is a god, etc. etc. 

Carl Sagan once wrote: "The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence."

I'm quoting this very lightly here, to make reference to how sometimes we need to see something concrete in order to believe in its existence. Yet, many times, we could be easily satisfied with a representation of an existence. For instance, one may feel more comfortable getting to know somebody online, such as Fridae, when there is face pic attached to the profile. However, that picture is only a representation of a possible existence, so in essence, it makes no difference whether there is a face pic or not. As long as you don't see the real person behind the profile, all you get is a representation, or sometimes, a fragment of your imagination.

And then, not many people would like to meet someone without expanding on their imagination first. They believe that exchanging emails over a period of time, or chatting on whatsapp/Line, etc. would give them more understanding of that person. But I believe that's all delusional efforts to make sense of our own imagination. Whatever we exchanged online could be misunderstood and misrepresented, and the person that you have been talking with for a long time online or over IM is still a fragment of your imagination. There's no way of proving that this person is real until you meet him or her in person. 

I know there are things that exist even if it can't be seen, and that has a lot to do with faith. But for most things, I need evidence to accept that something does exist. 


Old Profile Photos

EccentricOn - 18 hours ago

I've been musing a bit on how so many people here seem to keep their old (and I do mean, OLD) photos listed as their profile pick. Is it too much to ask that a newer photo (maybe, at least, one from the last couple of years) be used? If it's much older than that, a person really will have likely changed a lot, not just in their physical being, but in their attitudes on life.

It truly does suggest some insecurities that may not be justified. After all, if a person doesn't like what they see in their own photos, maybe they just need a better photographer! I don't mean those over-photoshopped, over-gauzed pictures that don't ever really look like a human being actually looks. I mean that, maybe those old nudes can be changed over for ones with more clothes, but also more personality. Maybe someone actually likes the extra wrinkles and slightly thicker wasteline. Maybe the clothing can be more flattering.

I don't know about others here, but I absolutely DO think personality counts. I used to hate having photos made of me, even though when I now look at the relatively few made of me from long past, they don't seem so bad. They DO show personality, at least.

Actually although I still hate having photos of myself made, I've come to realize that the more I allow people to take of me, the more photos I have to choose from to see which ones I like and am willing to show others.


Life's beauty comes from its mystery

swib - 19 hours ago


An inspirational quote about life from Osho Aakash Krishna:

"Life is beautiful because there is so much which cannot be explained.

It would have been a disaster if life consisted only of things which can be explained.

Just think for a moment: if everything could be explained, then there would be no mystery, then there would be no poetry, then there would be no secret. Then everything would be utterly flat and boring.

Life is not a boredom because there are dimensions in it that you can go on exploring, yet you can never come to explanations. You can experience much, yet even that which you have experienced cannot be translated into words."



darke - 20 hours ago






Picky Picky Picky

asiankiwi - 22 hours ago



I had been single for a long time, it is mostly by choice but sometimes I couldn’t help feeling that I simply don’t attract the right sort of people whom I could envisage spending the rest of my life with.  This loneliness struck once in a while, not very often, mind you, I keep a very busy lifestyle afterall but when it does, I would contemplate on my life, on people who were interested in me.  I must say though, I must be pretty picky to not be with someone till now. 


It is not as though I have suitors queuing up for me, I used to, but I guess I  am getting older and hence the market value is decreasing.  I don’t know about you, but rapport is so important for me.  Someone with a kind heart just attracts me without prejudice.   Now lets talk about kindness… a lot of people have their own interpretation of kindness and I respect that.  Since this is my blog though, I will talk about how I perceive kindness.  Purity of heart… someone who does good and not boast about it, I simply CANNOT stand people who boasted incessantly or continuously reminded others what a good person they are.  Unfortunately, in today’s world, of the people I had encountered, this is a very common phenomenon. 


I once went on a couple of dates with this girl, she is amazing “on paper”.. extremely intelligent, very strong minded and we seem to struck it off well.  Her short hair is simply beautiful… (swoon) but after second date, she proceeded to talk to me a lot (which is ok) but constantly telling me what a kind hearted person she is, all the amazing deeds she done in the past and continuously asked me of a certain gift she gave me.  For example, she gave me some chocolates.. (not that I can eat them) and she would talk continuously about how expensive the chocolates are, where it came from, the way the chocolates was made… etc etc etc etc…. goodness, I have absolutely no patience for these sort of acknowledgment seeking!!  Needless to say, such lack of rapport meant it would be impossible for me to be with her.


I find rapport to be so rare.. I love people who make me laugh but don’t talk about how funny they are constantly.  Is this picky?   Perhaps it is, perhaps that’s why I am single.  I can stand a lot of what others perceived as fissures of character though, someone who is not considered the “norm” of physically appealing, someone who is not making as much money, someone who is “boring”, someone who doesn’t talk much, someone who is unfashionable, someone who has a bad rep, someone who cheated, someone who is not very smart… I don’t really mind all these.  But the lack of rapport, the lack of humour and the constant need to be acknowledged, the lack of confidence.. that irks me no end.


Oh well, maybe eventually there will be this person who would appear in my life, I am not holding my breath but I am sure she would eventually appear.   


Are you picky?  What is your pet peeve?  What is your deal breaker?


Let's meet on Facebook

david_jp - 1 day ago

At last, I will leave here soon. Thank you for everyone to contact me and glad to know all of you ;) But can we communicate on Facebook in the future, too??

My Facebook;


a touching martial art story,and theme song~

TM0298 - 1 day ago



突然想起這個, 想起好些人事



violetdawn91 - 1 day ago





violetdawn91 - 1 day ago




incense - 1 day ago

1. Painting works going on at my place. Mynmar workers. Lean cute but no go. Hahah eye candies.

2. House is still a mess as i had to move things into the house. Will start throwing more anyway. Need to tone the muscles. 

3. Made bread for colleagues. A few of them. Lol

4. Still single. People only want me for sex. Lol. Joking. 

5. Oh need to go pick up a book on wednesday at bedok library. Mortal instruments.

6. My sis bought her iphone. 6 plus. That is the size i like too. Lol

7. Hong kong bff seems to be messeging me more. Yummy.

8. Might ask friend out for mutton soup. Unhealthy food. Sinnnnn.

9. Need yo check my lottery draw tickets. 6 months to claim only.

10. Platonic friends and sex friends welcomed since i cannot get the two as one. Lol.



Jyne - 1 day ago

每一次我们见面,再见是用拥抱的形式表达。没想到在最后一次的见面,我們沒有擁抱彼此。那次是你唯一一次没有在玻璃后看着我离开。上飞机前,你最后的短讯说,她终于回复你了。人生的缘,真的就是這麼的短。不容得你说别,我不舍。亦不容得你说再见。每次的再见,或许是让我们练习告别,希望你可以过得很好。每一次的见面,或许,就是最后一面,且见且珍惜。缘起,是一朵美丽的花,缘灭,那花就枯萎了。 走的最急的是最美的风景; 伤的最深的是最真的感情。 淡淡花开,不言花落,静静守望,默默祝福。

Search Personals

I am
Interested In
Age to
  • Online now
  • With photo
  • Photo vault
  • Safe sex
  • New

Featured Profiles

Now ALL members can view unlimited profiles!


View this page in a different language:

Like Us on Facebook


 ILGA Asia - Fridae partner for LGBT rights in Asia IGLHRC - Fridae Partner for LGBT rights in Asia